Post # 1
I sent out a fb message asking friends that I intended to invite to my wedding for their email and addresses about a couple of weeks ago. I did not mention the wedding at all or that I intended you use this info for the stds/invitations BUT I’m assuming most of them are smart enough to figure that out. Well, unfortunately, I just found out my fiance HAS to invite about 30 MORE family members to our 115 guest count wedding. Now I’m re-evaluating my side of the guestlist because our venue only allows 120 and I don’t think I’m going to be able to invite all the friends I had originally wanted to invite. Is it rude if I asked for their contact info (knowing that they would probably figure out that its for my wedding) and don’t give them a std (because I am not sure if they will be invited to the wedding). Is there a good way to handle this situation as I’m sure my friends will be hurt when they find out they didn’t get the STD and may not be invited to the wedding.
Post # 3
Since you asked for their info, they are probably expecting an invite. If at all possible, I think you should try to invite them. Otherwise, try to work it into conversations with them that your FI has a huge family and you’re disappointed about not being able to invite everyone you hoped.
Post # 4
@kaycee1: We’re in a similar situation – we have a number of friends, esp. local friends, who are going to assume they’re invited (we’re getting married in the town where we both live and work, not anyone’s hometown). We simply canNOT expand the invite list further. So we’re concentrating the wedding on family and out of town guests, and then about a month after the wedding we’re going to have local friends over for a casual party at the house (no gifts for that one). I think most people understand that weddings are fearfully expensive, and we have to limit these things, and as long as they feel loved and included in some way, they’ll get over the initial disappointment of not being invited to the big day.
Post # 5
maybe have them on guest list b and if ur guest list a’s send rsvps “not coming” then u can still invite them..
Post # 6
I dont think your FI HAS to invite anyone. You both chose your list already.
Post # 7
The same thing happened with us, so we just sent the save the date’s anyway. Once they went out we knew that it would get mentioned on facebook and through other mutual friends, so it wasn’t worth hurting people’s feelings to have obtained their addresses and then send them nothing. We’re hoping we have enough declines, but we also have a backup plan just in case.
Post # 8
It is just common good seto try to keep track of people’s contact information, whether you are hating married or not. You might want to send Christmas cards, to have them to dinner in your new home after you are married, or use them for networking as you develop your career. Regardless what you were thinking when you asked for their addresses, if you didn’t say anything then you implied no promises and are under no obligation.
I would send them a Chrstmas card, though 😉