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This is a spinoff from an earlier thread, but picture this:
When they're younger, some girls have an idea of when they want to get married. If had gotten married then, where would you be/who would you be with?
I'd be with my college boyfriend, J, who now lives in Orlando with his lovely wife and two kids. Oh, and did I mention he propositioned me when he was in DC for a conference 4 years ago? Ummm, yeah. I got off lucky.
.....divorced by now. He was a cheater and a control freak. Looking back it makes me wonder what the hell I was thinking. I chalk it up to being naive but thank goodness I had enough common sense to end it when I finally realised his true personality.
Yeah I'd have been divorced by now and not nearly so happy as I am. I've never felt as comfortable or at home with any guy that I dated as I do with my husband!
Oh yes. Divorced. That guy went to prison.
ETA. That guy was the first one I could actually see having said yes to, if circumstances had been different, and if he had been the person I thought he could be. Unfortunately, I could all to clearly envision being married to the person he was, so I said no. (Repeatedly.) I was pretty stupid in a lot of ways when I was younger, but when it came to the things that really mattered, I had excellent foresight.
Going by age alone, I would be marrying the guy I'm engaged to now. However, going when I thought I met a guy I would marry...I would be divorced. There were some fun times, but overall, there were too many differences. He loves to travel the world, and I knew he didn't want to live in our hometown. I like staying in one place.
If I went with my childhood imagination then I would have married at 16 to my high school boyfriend and have lots of sproglets. We're still friends so it wouldn't have been too awful, but I'm much happier with my later dream which is coming right.
By the end of my teens, 28 became my getting married age and that is the age that I'm getting married.
@Elvis:That's an interesting update, and it brings up a good point.
I would have married my college boyfriend if I had married by 24. My SECOND near miss was the guy before Fi, who I was with for 7 years. I was so in love with the idea of getting married and who I thought he COULD be, I would have probably ended up divorced by now too. I found out he got 2 DUIs during a binge year and I have no idea where he is now.
single. I was always the girl that said I was never getting married and never having kids... now I'm married and pregnant. lol.
@zippylef: same! I would be single working in the FBI. That was always my dream...until I met FI and got a new dream!
I would be marrying the same man. I have been in love with my FI since I was 16 but we didn’t start dating until I was 23. He was my boyfriends best friend (does that sound bad?) and we have always been friends but one day when we ran into each other it just clicked that we needed to be together.
...probably unhappily married or in the process of getting a divorce. I only dated one guy seriously before dating my FI, and that other guy and I dated off and on for about 6 or 7 years. I did envision myself marrying him, but we were just really not suited to each other. Plus, he drank way too much for my taste, and did stupid things while he was drunk. I also know that his parents divorced because of his dad's drinking, and I think some of that type of behavior rubs off on the kids (either through genetics or learned behavior).
So yeah, I'm really happy he and I never quite made it to that place in our relationship!
@AmberRae: That is so sweet! Congratulations--it's coming up so soon!
already be married to FI, lol.
We started dating at 18 and 21, and I always thought we'd be married by 25 and 28. Now I've just turned 29.. but, we're getting married next May, so I guess it's all coming in it's own sweet time. :P
i would be miserable and unhappily married to my ex boyfriend ( the one right before my husband) and prentending to be someone im not.
I recently read an old blog entry of mine where I guessed I'd be married at 25. I'm now getting married at 28, to the same guy I was with back when I wrote the blog entry. So the only difference is that we'd be celebrating our 3 year anniversary now instead of just starting our marriage, haha.
Great thread.
I'd be married to the same man, only we'd both be so not able to afford the wedding we can at this point in our lives because we'd both still be in the first years of grad school (read: broke).
I always thought I would get married at 28 and have a baby by 30. Now im getting married at 26 and dont plan on procreating until at least 34.
I would still be single, I always thought I'd get married in my early to mid 30s.
@BayStateBride: Thanks! It was something I was thinking about driving in today because of what I heard on the radio. The funny thing is, I'm getting married at 38, and we've already got the dog and the house and the picket fence... just no 2.5 kids yet.
...divorced for sure. I would have married my college sweatheart. Who is still a very good friend. But we have grown to be etremely different people with completly different views on life and family with insanly different priorites.
Had lunch with him the other day because I was helping him move and his father had just died and he ordered for me like he always used to - something i didnt want, talked on his phone the entire time, and didnt thank me for the help. Ahh yes i remember those days.
Life is so much better this way =)
I thought I wanted to marry my high school/college boyfriend... but if I had I would be horribly depressed, isolated and abused. So, I'm really glad that didnt' turn out.
After that though, I decided I didn't want to get married till I was 30... and I'm 27 now, so it's hard to say what that alternate reality would have held! Hopefully, I'd be doing well in my career and have a dog. At least, thats what I like to think of my sliding doors self.
I'd be married to the same person. I always envisioned myself getting married at age 22 right after I graduate college. We met when we were 17, almost 18 and got married 12 days before my 23rd birthday.
Married but unhappy while my husband doesn't realize I'm not happy and he feels like the luckiest person in the world. Good thing he didn't want to "rush into things" after 6 years together and 3 of living together... I'm so much better off!
I would have been married a long time ago to my FI. We've been together nearly 8 years as this point. I was 15 when we met, and we've toyed with getting married earlier but I'm SO glad we waited. It just might have been too much too young and we could have ruined a good thing. We're still getting married on the young side (23 and 25) but we are making better decisions now that we're older and more firmly in the adult world.
I might have married a couple years earlier, but the groom would have been the same one as now. That being said, we would probably be miserable and hate each other. I didn't want it, but we really did need to break up in college and go our separate ways for a while. Since we did and we had time to learn who we are and what EXACTLY we want (each other!), we're going to be much happier in the long run, even if we did have to wait a couple years.
I would still be single. I never really gave much thought to marriage, and never wanted kids, so I tought I would wait til my 30s to get married. But, I started dating my husband at 20 and got married at 25. Hubs and I talk and try to think of how different our lives could be now if we wouldn't have ran into each other again,and I honestly have no idea where I would be, since I never really had a "plan" for my future
I always said I'd get married at 25, and if I had, I'd be very unhappy now.
I got married at the age I thought i would so it kinda all worked out according to plan
I'm pretty much getting married at the age I wanted to (26). I think it's the perfect age and apparently everyone else does too because I've had about 30 friends get engaged this past year and those who are single aren't happy.
If I had married my ex like I thought I would, we'd probably sitll be together in grad school (I gave up grad school for my FI and moved cross country). I would have already graduated law school (thank god I didn't go to law school) and he'd still be in med school. We probably would have gotten married right after undergrad. I wouldn't be awful, he was a nice man, but it isn't perfect like the way FI is.
I'm currently single as can be (came here as a bridesmaid), but the way I used to date, I thought I would for sure be married by 26. I'm just under two years away from that, but pretty sure I'd have to meet the man of my dreams this weekend for that timeline to be possible!
If my last serious relationship had worked out, I'm sure we'd be living together and probably engaged by now. Instead, I'm apply for programs to take me out of state and on the next adventure while I don't have any big responsiblities here holding me down.
More than likely either in an extremely unhappy marriage or divorced by now. My college boyfriend was a nice guy, just not very motivated. He's married now with a kid, and good for him...he just wasn't for me. I'm with the man I'm supposed to be with now :o)
I woud have gotten married at 24 and would still be with FI (we started dating when I was 19). Instead we will be getting married when I'm 26... So actually... not too much different from what I had thought when I was younger.
Either unhappily married, or happily divorced. I thought I was going to marry my boyfriend out of college around the age of 25. Instead of proposing, he broke up with me. A few years ago we had gotten together for lunch, he said breaking up with me was the worst mistake he had ever made. I told him it was the best mistake he could have made.
After the devestating break up I went on to take some pretty awesome jobs in even better locations. I was able to travel the world, meet a bunch of wonderful people who will always be apart of my life, and reconnect with my high school crush...who will be my husband in 3 weeks!
So thank you jealous ex-boyfriend!
@mshoagie: Wow--what a great happy ending! It sounds like you've really got it all!
@chancehere: Big adventure sounds nice!
Stragely, I thought 26 was a good age to get married, and I was 26 when I got married!
I always wanted to get married in my late 20s after I had established my career and become financially stable. I guess more or less I am in the same spot- and my independence makes me a better fiancee.
If I had married my college boyfriend (last serious relationship before I met FI), I'd probably be either divorced or widowed - he "joked" more than once about committing suicide by age 30. Luckily, he seems to have abandoned that idea, as I still see him around the area and his 30th birthday was some time ago.
I would be perpetually single. I didn't believe in marriage, I thought even if I were to find someone, it was just a piece of paper.
But, after 4 years with FI and not being able to picture my life without him, my mind changed. I needed to know that since we would always be together, we would always be able to take care of each other.
Either unhappily married with several kids or divorced. My college ex wanted to get married right after school and wanted me to stay home and have kids immediatley. That's not what I watned out of life, on top of the fact that we were just a bad fit for each other, would have made for a very unhappy marriage.
... divorced. The first guy I ever *seriouly* thought about marrying was my college boyfriend - a manipulative, emotionally abusive, cheating piece of shit. He married one of the girls he cheated on me with, who must still be insecure about him because she "accidentally" emailed me an invitation to their engagement party after I hadn't spoken to either of them in 4 years. He also got fat and old looking - which is incredibly satisfying, because BOY was he proud of his 6 pack.
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