- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
If it cost you over $1000 to fly to where a wedding is taking place, and about $500 in hotel rooms, would you also get the couple a gift, or maybe just a congratulatory card?
We went to a destination wedding which cost about that much per person and the couple did not expect gifts. We brought a card but didn't even give htem that becasue our luggage got lost. I am still debating if we should send them something after the fact though so I'm interested to see your response.
If it was going to cost me $1500 to attend a wedding I prob wouldnt go unless it was a DW and we made a vacation out of it. In that case I would buy a gift.
I'd either spend the money to go (if the person was a REALLY good friend!) or buy them a gift. Not both.
Well, I'd probably give them a card, either way, but no check or anything inside. Just a congratulary hallmark.
Well, it's not a DW in that the couple is having it in their hometown. It's just that we live in a different country from them. We certainly could make a vacation out of it though.
In an ideal world, couples should never expect to receive gifts from anyone. But in this case, I seriously doubt that the couple is expecting a gift from you if you're coming from out of the country. I would be incredibly touched if our international guests came to our wedding. A heartfelt message in a card is fine.
I don't know. I still think I should give a gift. I've gone to international weddings before and have always given gifts. Granted, it wasn't that expensive to go to those - which is why I wrote this post - but I just feel bad going empty-handed.
I can understand that you'd feel weird going without a gift. You should definitely give a card, no matter what. I went to 4 'destination' weddings this year (they were all out of state and cost us quite a bit to get to) and while we gave a bit less than we would have liked, we still included a gift card in their card. I would personally feel very uncomfortable if I was the only person not giving a gift, you know? And I think that by agreeing to travel to the wedding and paying the money to do so, you are expressing your love to your friend, but at the same time, a $50 gift card (or something small) doesn't seem like such a big committment in comparison to the wedding costs, you know? We made a vacation out of a wedding that was in Maine by going to Boston. I would have felt guilty not giving a card with a gift card in it, just because we had already spent so much money on our vacation. And my friend who got married on an island off the coast of Maine? I was at her house a few weeks after and their bedroom was stacked with gifts. So I don't think people don't give a gift at all, but they certainly may tone down how much they spend. Personally, we're having a beach wedding and I don't expect many gifts but I think most of our friends and family will still slip us a small gift in a card. Sorry, I don't know if this was helpful or not!
I would still give a gift if I attended, but I also may not choose to attend a wedding that costs that much if it were not for a close friend or family member.
That said, I would not expect a gift from someone who I knew spent a lot to travel to my wedding. My wedding was out of town for nearly everyone, in an expensive city, and I know that it was difficult for some of my friends to spend the money to attend. Those friends did not give gifts, and I would have been very surprised if they had! That goes double for friends that traveled from out of the country. I had one friend who attended from out of the country, and I was just grateful that she was willing to pay for the plane ticket to come at all.
I think this depends on your personal financial situation. You should not have to put yourself in a perilous place financially to attend a wedding.
If you can afford the $1500 and a gift, then that is the right thing to do, if not, then I would just get a small token gift - something more meaningful than valuable.
If I was the couple throwing the wedding, I would 100% NOT expect a gift. If I was attending, I'd still give cash. Just because if I am close enough to the person to spend $1500 to go to their wedding, what is another $100?
I don't think you have to... but personally I would do something.
*I should probably note that I can count on 1 hand the number of people I'd spend that much to travel to their wedding for... so its not like this would probably be an issue for me often if ever.
Hmm while I'm sure they don't expect anything, if you are close enough to them to spend that much getting there I would want to give a gift, not cash but maybe a meaningful token gift
I think the couple would understand when planning that it is a large expense for traveling and should realistically not expect a gift. If you want to, then that is great, but I see no reason to if you are already spending that kind of money to support them.
If they were my best friends or a relative, i'd still get a gift. If not....probably just a card. That's a huge chunk of change to drop to also get a gift - I think in that case, your presence is your gift!
No one should expect a gift, and you should do whatever you are comfortable doing. But if it were me and I could afford to spend $1500 on flights and accomodations, I could probably afford to give a gift as well, so it wouldn't be an issue of cost. I have never gone to a wedding and not given a gift, so it's my opinion that the gift is separate from the additional expenses you incurr because of having to travel. If I couldn't afford $1500 to go to the wedding (which i definately can't afford tha right now), then I would just send a gift to the couple and let them know I wish I could be there, but can't.
I would give a gift without question. If I'm spending $1500 to travel somewhere it would be for a person who was very important to me, and another $100 or $200 for a gift wouldn't matter. I wouldn't travel for Joe Shmoe's wedding.
@crayfish: This is my answer. Depends who the people are, but also if I couldnt afford a $30 token gift after spending $1500 then I probably shouldnt be spending the $1500 to begin with.
We had a destination wedding and totally didn't expect any gifts. Our gift was family and friends joining us on our day. I definitely wouldn't expect anyone to pay that amount to travel AND buy us a gift. I would give a card though. ;o)
It would depend on my finances to be honest. At the moment, I would probably not be able to afford an additional gift so would just give a heartfelt card. And would maybe take lots of pictures and give them some kind of album or framed prints or something after the fact.
We had a few people fly cross-country for our wedding who didn't give gifts. I know they spent a lot of money just to be here so I wasn't expecting anything additional. I sent thank you cards thanking them profusely for being here to celebrate with us. That was the most important thing.
I would either go or give them a gift. . but not both. Perhaps later on when I am more financially able I would change my opinion on this.
I would probably still give them a small gift - under $50. If I could. I wouldn't feel bad not giving one considering the cost. It's likely I wouldn't go at all.
We have invited a few guests that live in other countries-- I would be honored if they came at all, no gift needed!
For me personally, I would not be able to afford to go at all. So I would probably send a card and a gift card or gift and leave it at that.
We did this twice and both times did not buy the couple a gift. I kind of considered our presence our 'gift' to them and never thought there was anything wrong with that.
I did this last year. I made a vacation out of the trip, and I definitely gave a gift - even though I was invited with my parents (who came from out of state but not out of country), who also gave a gift. I would feel ridiculous going to ANY wedding without a gift, and if it's the wedding of someone I would spend that much money on just to go, I don't think I could show my face without giving something.
I think my gift would be significantly smaller if I paid a good amount to travel. Normally what would be a $100 gift would probably come out to be more like a $30-$50 gift.
I would only go to a wedding that cost that much in travel costs if I was really close to the person (like my sister or a really good friend). Otherwise I'd decline.
So in that case, I would still get a gift, but it would probably just be in the $50 range. I usually spend $100-$150 on wedding gifts for a local wedding.
I wouldn't go to a wedding that cost me $1500 just to attend, unless it was immediate family or a VERY close friend. In the event I did go, I'd just bring a card. I don't think it's a matter of if you could afford a gift, I think it's a matter of should you have to, considering the amount of money you're spending just to be present.
I've done it (and will do it again soon) and gave the same sort of gift I normally would. The difference, however, is that I wouldn't have attended unless it was a family member or very close friend.
Chances are if I had the money to spend of a $1000 flight and $500 hotel room I would have the money to get them a gift, even if it is a small one. And I would hate feeling like I didn't support them in some way even if I did spend the money to fly and stay. But that is just me.
We had a desitnation wedding and we did NOT expect gifts at all. However, we received gifts from everyone.
I think I agree with a lot of the ladies in that, if it means enough to me to want to attend then I probably should give a gift.
If you do buy them a gift...make it something simple like a picture frame or something like that.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| Brielle | 39 |
| mypinkshoes | 32 |
| AshleyR83 | 30 |
| Cady | 29 |
| ndreighton | 27 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 27 |
| rebwana | 26 |
| funkymunky85 | 26 |
| fishbone | 26 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| violet25 | 10 |
| Brielle | 6 |
| Steph18 | 4 |
| jpmorgan | 3 |
| AshleyR83 | 3 |
| jules28 | 3 |
| teabiscuit | 3 |
| tcanne | 2 |
| simpleandchic | 2 |
| KatyElle | 2 |
