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We are going with Moissanite (Mr. Tattoo has already bought the ring and just making me WAIT!!!! Grrr)
I am not ashamed about it. It's not that we can't afford a diamond, it's just that we don't want to. I've never liked diamonds. Even as a child I knew putting massive holes in the earth was no bueno. I do not think of myself better than brides who do have diamonds, but I'm just not caught up in the Debeers scam that an engagement ring MUST be diamond.
So my friend who is having the marriage talk was sick to her stomach about the cost of her ring and she was saying how her boyfriend signed up for a Kay's card and got a $$$$ limit. She says she only wants a pretty stone that has bling. So I told her about moissanite and the first words out of her mouth were, "I don't want a FAKE ring"
Ugh, she isn't the first. It's like some people are just brainwashed any seriously believe anything but a diamond is a fake engagement ring and somehow the man isn't serious if he doesn't spend thousands on this pretty rock.
I just wanted to vent. Thanks!
Moissanite is a lab-created mineral that looks like a diamond and can have the same brilliance as a diamond.
Moissanite is a naturally occurring mineral, silicone carbide. It was discovered in 1893 by Henri Moissan in a meteor. Since there are almost no supplies of this mineral on earth, scientists set out to create synthetic moissanite in a lab.
Anything lab created is fake...in my opinion. It reminds of a CZs to be honest. If I dislike diamonds, I would opt for my birthstone (but my birthstone is diamond, sorry for my fiance lol)...or go for a rare stone like Tanzanite!
Congrats on your upcoming engagement! So exciting. That's too bad that your friend made that comment... pretty rude considering you and FH decided to go with moissanite. IMO, though, you do kind of have to understand that many people view moissanite as a diamond simulant (especially since they market it as such), so in a lot of minds simulant = fake, KWIM? That's a nasty term to use though for a perfectly pretty stone to use in an e-ring. Anyway I think it's great that you chose something different from the norm and I hope you won't let anyone make you feel bad about your decision!
You should hang out with us on the Waiting board btw, we're a fun time. hehe :)
Good for you Miss Tattoo! I think people should consider all the available options out there before they automatically jump to diamonds. I think it's fine that people like them, it's their choice! I don't understand why it has to be a diamond for people, but people can say the same things about shoes, designer handbags, clothes--some sort of expectation or entitlement. For me, it's not an option. I have a 0.75 carat cz currently (while "fake" in some people's opinion)--it's perfect for my fiance and me, and that's all that matters. I'm not even sure I want to wear an engagement ring when I get married. I absolutely LOVE aquamarine and white sapphires. However, I want something plain to wear on a daily basis, so my Fiance and I will each have solid matching bands made. The commitment and love my Fiance has given me means more to me than some ring and I think a lot of people forget about that.
There are a lot of threads on this. People usually get flustered about these things. Like with anything, I've noticed a lot of bees like to compare their stuff to other people's to make themselves feel better. Just be happy with your choice and ignore the naysayers!
@Asia_Leone - I agree with the birthstone. It seems this is becoming a more popular trend with using your birthstone or some other colored stone. My birthstone is a diamond as well so, sorry FI! hehe :)
@Asia_Leone: You do bring up a good point about it being lab-created. I doubt moissanite would widely be considered a diamond simulant if it were a naturally mined stone instead. Just like how some people choose white sapphires -- obviously sapphires are a naturally occurring, earth-mined stone. They aren't considered "fake" diamonds just because they are clear. But a lab-created sapphire would commonly be considered a "fake" sapphire. But like OP mentioned, many people have environmental concerns over any kind of mining, so lab-created would be a good choice for them. I do still think it's a really harsh term to use and can be hurtful to people who chose lab-created stones with the best intentions.
lol I hate my birthstone. It's a garnet. Anyway, a Zales rep told me that an engagement only serves two purposes.
1. To look pretty (and Moissanite is way prettier than a diamond IMO)
2. To remind you that he wants to spend his life with you when you look at it.
That's it. All I care about is the bling. I've seen moissanite in person at Helzberg Diamonds and the salesperson was really helpful.
I know there are some people out there who try to pass them off as diamonds (and I hear the experts even have a hard time telling the difference) but I wouldn't. I would be proud to say it's moissanite. I just don't want anything to do with the diamond industry.
@littlemissmango: I agree with you! I almost wanted to say back to her something snarky about blood diamonds, but I kept my mouth shut. We just try to live within our means and I'm not about putting on a show. She knows she is about to start her married life in debt because she pushed for him to get a credit card so she didn't have to wait a year for him to save up for the diamond. I was just so mad and wanted to vent.
FAKE to me would be like those knock off Coach purses. They don't have different names. People try to sell them as discounted Coach purses and the people who know they have knock offs still try to pass it off as a real Coach.
To me moissanite isn't the same thing. Moissanite isn't advertising that they are diamonds or anything close to it.
@Miss Tattoo: Good for you for keeping a sense of perspective about the whole engagement ring thing! NotFroofy and I chose not to have engagement rings at all. Each of us has a plain gold band for the wedding ring. The one NotFroofy gave me was inherited from her grandmother. I like the sentimental significance. I like how it looks. And I like the fact that it symbolizes her desire to spend her life with me. We are both perfectly happy with the rings we have, and don't feel the need for a diamond.
I actually prefer lab created stones because I'm not a fan of mining and am concerned with the working conditions of mines as well as the environmental impact. Boo to any naysayers. I definitely got some weird reactions to my moissanite ring, but when you tell them the original was found in a meteor they get more intrigued. I think the negative reaction usually comes from people who've already shelled out thousands and when they hear there's a sparklier, less expensive alternative that's just as durable, they have to come up with some reason to feel better.
I prefer colored stones/gemstones in general...I do not like diamonds. Mine's a garnet and I've taken a lot of crap for it, but not diamond =/= "fake." How rude of her to say that!
How is something "lab created" fake? It under goes the same chemical reactions to make whatever stone as is found in nature, just faster and more precise, often resulting in a better stone. I've never understood how people can equate "lab created" to "fake". The chemical composition is identical. Of course, saying a cz is a diamond is a whole 'nother ball game, and I don't agree with that. But saying a lab created sapphire isn't a sapphire? Just silly.
At least the people working in labs creating these things are probably paid and have health benefits.
At least the people working in labs creating these things are probably paid and have health benefits.
I love that. Kudos to you!
I would also like to point out that "lab-created" and "simulant" are not always the same thing. My engagement and wedding rings are made of lab-created blue diamonds. They ARE diamonds. They just were not mined, and instead were made by science!
At least the people working in labs creating these things are probably paid and have health benefits.
That is perfect!
God forbid the clothes you wear or any food you eat was created in a lab or factory. Otherwise it would be fake.
I love the diamond debate :)
We are vegetarians and have bought lab grown tomatos. :-( lol The ones in our garden hadn't come in yet and I really wanted some tomatos. I sent Mr. Tattoo and he just grabbed the biggest ones on display and they were the lab grown ones.
I admit, they were delicious. ha ha ha.
The thing I dislike about a lab created stone is that it creates the idea that the actual gemstone is not rare... the rarity is part of the value of the stone. Personally, I can tell the difference between a real stone and a faux one, and I dislike the idea that some jewelry companies are making large faux rings that appear valuable but the stones are not truly valuable. If you are aware that the stone is not genuine and you don't really care about the fact that it's not that's fine... But you need to realize that it's not a true natural stone whose value is in it's rarity. It is "fake" which may offend your ears, but I don't think that the people who use that term are trying to be offensive, so much as being factual. I recently took my dad into the jewelry store. I had to let him know which stones were truly valuable and which ones were not.
To me, diamonds are not rare or as costly as they are marked up. The point of my post was to point out that I can't stand when people think of a non diamond ering, it's obviously fake and somehow less meaningful because he didn't do what Debeers told him to do and save up two months worth salary and buy a diamond.
Moissanite was originally found in a meteor but scientists have been able to recreate the mineral. That's not fake to me.
Also I feel better about the environmental effects. ^_^
@Missbliss: A lab-created diamond does not look different than its mined counterpart. They both have the same chemical makeup. And the last few posters are correct that (mined) diamonds are not rare. They are the price they are because that is the price people are willing to pay, thanks to the idea that Americans have that engagement rings have to have a diamond. How on earth could mined white diamonds be rare if practically every American married woman has one?
My mother actually has a yellow sapphire engagement ring, so I grew up thinking that everyone had coloured stones in their rings! People are always commenting on how unique it is, and she still loves it 25 years later. All that matters is that you love your ring, and anyone who trys to knock it isn't worth your time.
@Miss Tattoo: This has nothing to do with anything- but do you know garnets come in all different colors? http://torraca.net/gems/gems.php?spec=Gar
It may change your mind for future jewelery- and that gem cutter on the site is amazing!
Send her a few pics of rings that aren't diamonds, but big money. Ask her if she thinks they are "fake".
She's kind of a jerk to say that to you!
The poster who said go for Tanzanite..you would not put that in a ring you wear everyday, it's far too soft. If you want the exact color, you can get it in a sapphire which is much harder. I have a sappire ring that everyone asks me if it's tanz. Every jeweler we went to said don't wear rings made of tanz.
IT really doesn't matter if your ring is a diamond, a lab created gem, or a chunk of rock you dug up in your yard. What matters is that it is special to YOU, and anyone who spokke to you about yours like she did is not only iimmature, but I pity the poor man trying to buy her a ring, let alone marry her.
I think it's great that you're going with Mossianite. Had my FI and I discussed it, we would've done that as well. I think it's a GREAT option. However, it's marketed as a diamond simulant. No one would argue with that. As such, it is "fake." It is what it is, you know? I say just be loud and proud about it. They're the suckers who paid twice or three times as much for essentially the same thing!
I only wish that DH and I had researched more about rings before buying mine. I love it, but if i had to do it over again, I would have encouraged DH not to buy a diamond. It wouldn't be so I could get a bigger stone, but because I think that the diamond industry is based on marketing, unfair trade and unfair/unethical mining and employment practices. Diamonds aren't rare - everyone has one. I don't feel the need to have an expensive diamond on my hand to feel good about myself or my engagement/marriage. And the people who feel that they do need an expensive diamond are falling prey tot he marketing ploys and promoting companies to continue to use unethical mining and employment practices.
Kudos to those who are looking at alternative options to diamonds. It really doesn't matter what your reason is, whether you dislike diamonds, don't want to pay that much, or whatever.
@lezlers: It's not fake, if it is the same thing. It might not be created naturally, but making something in a lab that leads to the exact same item, chemical composition and all, does not mean that it is fake.
A lab grown tomoato is not fake. Just because you didn't pick it from your garden doesn't mean you can't eat it. It's the same with the mossianite.
@MissTattoo- have you considered a conflict free diamond? My diamond is from brilliantearth.com they sell conflict free canadian diamonds and eco friendly gold. We actually bought my ring in a tiny boutique shop that had a select few rings from that website. You should check it out <3
I just can't think of wearing a piece of jewelry that could pay for a vacation 2 times over. I would be so happy with something equally as beautiful but a third of the cost. Heck, I don't even wear jewelry so it will take me getting used to whatever I get.
So sorry people are acting like this. I am sure your ring is beautiful. And if you are happy, then that is all that matters. Congrats on what is coming soon!
A mossianite isn't a lab-created diamond, though, it's an entirely different stone marketed as a diamond simulant. Again, there's nothing wrong with mossianite, I wish my FI would've gotten me one, but saying it's the same thing as a diamond just isn't true. The tomato analogy isn't accurate. If she'd gotten an emerald ring or sapphire ring, no one would've called it fake, because emerald and sapphire's aren't marketed as "replacements" for diamond rings, like mossianite is.
Moissanite is not a diamond simulant because they are both made of different things. Diamonds are another form of carbon and Moissanite is Silicone Carbide. Making them both unique. They have similar crystalline structures and can be cut into gems making them look similar. Lab created diamonds are still diamonds made from carbon, they are just made in a lab, not in the environment. I think Moissanite is a great alternative to mined diamonds when you think of the environment and your wallet :)
@lezlers: Well said, that's exactly what I was trying to get at before... Moissanite is marketed as a diamond simulant. That's why they give the sizes in "diamond carat equivalent," and show how it has properties similar to diamonds, etc. So because it's being marketed as something that looks just like a diamond, by definition it would be considered a diamond simulant, from those who are selling it, no less.
diamonds are not the only gemstone to have weight, cut and clarity characteristics.
I know this isn't directly related to the original post, but I also just wanted to point out that stating that diamonds are not at all rare is misleading. Yes, diamonds in and of themselves are not at all rare. However, gem-quality diamonds are. Their rarity increases in direct correlation to the size, color, and clarity of the stone. A gem-quality, one carat stone is literally one in a million, of mined diamonds, on average. Most diamonds are only of industrial quality.
@Miss CuppyCake: No. Even if it was conflict free, I don't want a diamond. I have seen moissanite in person at Helzberg Diamonds and I find that they sparkle more. They do have more fire than diamonds.
I don't know, I'm an auditor and even if I use spreadsheets, power point, make lists, pro's and con's, ect. I just cannot justify the cost of a diamond.
To each their own though. I don't go around telling diamond owners that they were scammed. I just don't like the diamond crowd telling me that if it's not a diamond ering, it's not as important.
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