Post # 1
So I think my FMIL is jealous of my FI and I.
Everything and every step in this wedding planning process has been frowned at. She keeps trying to tell us “it’s just one day”…but I dont believe that at all!
My wedding is epic and monumental! It’s a wedding! It happens once in a lifetime (twice if you want) and not every year!
Does anyone else feel like people who say this should just shove it???!!!
Post # 3
I don’t think your MIL should tell you that “it’s just one day”, but I also think you need to realize that although your wedding is important, it’s not thought of as monumental and epic to anyone except you and maybe your FI. Just a thought. 🙂
Post # 4
It really depends what kind of things she is saying it about…
if she’s saying it about you wanting to buy 27 live dalmation puppies to use for centerpieces…it’s just one day!
if she’s saying it about you wanting to design beautiful invitations and programs and take lots of pictures and get everyone dressed up, then she’s a biatzh.
Post # 5
It really depends on what she is saying “it’s just one day” about.
Post # 6
My guess is she thinks you guys are going overboard – now overboard to one person is totally normal for another – so it’s really open to interpretation.
Your wedding day is a BIG deal. Should you spend time planning and enjoying the process? Yes. Should you expect everyone to put everything on hold and should you go into debt over it? Absolutely not.
Post # 7
It doesn’t sound like she’s jealous. Maybe she feels that you are more wrapped up in the actual wedding planning than the more important marriage planning, and is just trying to bring you back down to earth. Also, I don’t believe anyone’s wedding is “epic” to anyone but themselves.
Post # 8
I think it’s just one day. I mean, I would like to celebrate it and treat it special, because it’s not just another party. But what’s more importatnt to me is my marriage and the life I’ll be building with my future husband. My fiance’s cousin had the most fabulous wedding that cost $70k. Everything was perfect and breathtaking. She had an expensive wedding planner who ensured that it would be seamless and nothing would go wrong. She had it at grand church, swanky hotel, all the flowers were orchids, and the food was by a celebrity chef. It was the best day. But, after ten months of marriage they have decided to separate. He’s now seeing someone else, and she’s shacked up with a new guy.
It’s understandable that you want to make this day perfect and dream-like. After all, it is your day. But there are things that are more important beyond this day. Your marriage is what’s epic and monumental. It’s not fair that your FMIL keeps trivializing your wedding, I understand how irritating that could be. But it’s good to not lose sight of what’s really important and what this wedding is about 🙂
Post # 9
I’m with the other posters – without knowing context, I would suspect your FMIL just wants to keep your “rooted” and not go too overboard. I know a lot of people end up spending thousands on totally lavish weddings, and then once it’s over, they’re in debt. I don’t know your situation at all, but she may be worried about something like this, or thinking you’re focusing too much on the day, and not on the lifetime to follow.
Post # 10
Maybe epic isnt the word lol, but definitely a big deal to me. But she has given us the “its just one day” thing, when I told her I wanted to add chair covers, have the GM have a hanky in their pocket, and have my make up done. Simple little changes, and trust there is no debt because we have done everything on the cheap!
Post # 11
I definitely understand how it’s irritating that she’s picking at you, but she is right. The marriage afterwards is far more important than the wedding. The other ladies are right; your wedding is only monumental and epic to you.
Post # 12
I think it is a very very important day but she (maybe?!) just means that you will have other amazing days (like childrens births, etc) that to her have been more special then her own wedding, etc. I would be annoyed if my FMIL kept saying that to me too though!
Post # 13
ok. then i vote it’s your day! go to town!
Post # 14
My mom’s like this too (she hates chair covers with a passion). I think people who are extremely practically-minded, they don’t see the point of a lot of things others see as necessary (like wedding make-up). Just don’t let her bother you, remind yourself that you have different opinions about what is necessary, and carry on. You’ll both get over it once the wedding is done! Good luck!
Post # 15
Omg I dont think that having u add things is a big deal thats part of the planning process. If it werent a “process” it wouldnt be called one! My mom keeps telling me to simplify simplify simplify It makes me SOOO mad when she say that!! But then last night she called and said she is going to get a two stitch mini b4 the wedding….who needs to simplify?? Get your chair covers girl! Mabe u can suggest that her chair be left uncovered and she wear no makeup….maybe then she will understand! (sorry I feel ur pain) lol
Post # 16
Some people think that getting married in the backyard and having a reception at the local restaurant is all you need for a wedding – so if that’s her perspective then chair covers and professional make up would seem extravagant. Others think that a 4 course meal is a wedding standard – it depends on where you’re coming from
Her idea of a wedding is obviously different from yours but so long as your not blowing your budget or making ridiculous demands I think you’re allowed to have those little details that are important to you.