If someone hits you, hit them back harder.

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I grew up this way and I have to admit that I would probably teach my kids the same thing. I have no patience for people who can’t stand up for themselves and I like knowing that I’m never afraid to defend myself. I have never been a bully (far from it!) but I’ve also never really been picked on either. 

I also don’t trust the school boards to deal with this. 

Post # 4
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Not having children but if I were, I’d tell them to defend themselves. I was raised this way and because of it I never had a problem with bullying. In my experience bullies tend to pick on people they know won’t defend themselves

Post # 5
Member
642 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Just a small warning – I think this is going to get out of control real fast as this is a rather controversial topic. 

 

That being said, I’m not sure I would ever tell my kids that. I wasn’t told that growing up and I was never messed with either. I was taught to turn the other cheek and Matthew 18:21-22 – “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus said to him, I say not to you, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”

 

Post # 6
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I was taught to turn the other cheek, try and be friends with them, ignore it, etc. Well, fuck that quite frankly. I was bullied my whole life, and I still am. If I have a kid, I will teach them to try and deal with it calmly first, but if that doesn’t work, all bets are off. I’d rather my kid gets suspended then be bullied their whole lives. 

 

Post # 7
Member
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I was half and half…..I was bullied though throughout middle school….even though I did stand up for myself (and got in a few fights)…..

 

 

Post # 9
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

having never hit anyone or been hit myself (neither has my husband outside of his work as a police officer), I’m really not sure what we will teach our children! I think I would definitely be an advocate of tell an adult and don’t be violent, but it may be a case of see what happens when we have children!

Post # 11
Member
342 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

In my school system, anyone involved in a fight, whether you were the agressor or the victim, got punished. One of my friends in high school got a 3 day suspension just for getting screamed at in the hall, even though she just rolled her eyes at the nutty girl. My little brother got the same punishment in 5th grade for getting tackled and punched, even though he just held his hands over his face. The crappy thing is, the equal punishment thing wasn’t formally established, just an unspoken rule. I had to tell him how the system worked, and that he better start swinging while he had the guy close. And I’ll tell my kids the same thing in the same situation.

 

Otherwise, retaliation is a last resort. In my experience, bullying starts as taunting which builds to name calling which builds to threats which then leads to violence. Always try to take care of the situation verbally or with the help of an authority figure. If that doesn’t solve it, and you’ve exhausted all other options, and you get hit…? by God, sweetheart, let him have it.

Post # 12
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I grew up in a household with similar logic- we grew up in a *very* small town and unfortuantly it had its fair share of bullys. I know all too well that ‘kids’ can be brutal. I was always taught growing up that you should never start fights and things can always be worked out with words, but that if someone was going to hit me I had every right to stand up for myself. 

It paid off when I got older because not too long ago someone tried to mug me. They hit me thinking I would shrivel up and cry but I swung back and they left empty handed. (Not that I recommend that, my FI was livid because who knows they could have had a gun! It was just an instinct.)

Post # 13
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

@MrsPanda99:  I definitely won’t tell my kids that, but I never got hit in school…neither did DH. I also don’t want my kids to associate it with other things– someone hurts your feelings, hurt theirs worse; someone takes something of yours, take something of theirs; it seems like a very slippery slope. I’m going to teach my kids that hitting isn’t okay and no one deserves to feel scared at the hands of another person.

ETA: We will absolutely teach our children how to defend themselves (like the mugging situation a PP mentioned), but I don’t think teach a young child to hit another is beneficial over teach a teenage girl self-defense.

Post # 14
Member
2441 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

@MrsPanda99:  

I wish we could have proper discussions without attacking, belittling, or being rude to others. We are supposed to be all grow’d up by now 😛 I can’t understand why people can’t just agree to disagree and leave it at that instead of trying to convince internet strangers that THEY ARE RIGHT AT ALL COSTS!
 
+1 to all of this!! I couldn’t agree more. Whenever someone online starts to argue with me I roll my eyes, kinda laugh a little and close the page. So not worth my time, especially when opinions are present. 

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