Post # 1
Ugh, I have to send out my invitations and I’ve been postponing because of one person (well, kinda 2 peope).
Here’s the thing… I hate hate hate my boss. I’ve never been the type to use the word hate. But she’s a horrible, vile woman… when it comes to me, to everyone else in the office she’s a very nice person. But for 3 years now she’s been making my life miserable. Showing up hours late, throwing all her work on me, taking 3 hour lunches, drinking on the job (at least 3 x’s a week). I’m the punching bag. She’s best friends with my other co-worker so she’s mean to me too. I’ve complained about it before, here on weddingbee. Our executive director doesn’t understand. In fact, if anything, he believes what she reports to him so I’m the bad employee. He told me, indirectly but very clearly, that I have to invite these two horrible women to my wedding. At the time I agreed. I sent out the STD’s, they got them, and they were being really nice to me around that time. But they’ve since gone back to the regular, gang up on Jen phase and its unbearable.
I DON’T WANT TO INVITE THEM! But I have to now! I know what you’re thinking, they won’t come right? WRONG. I overheard them discussing their plans to go. I hope they’ve changed their minds. Why on earth would they want to come? How do I make sure they don’t feel obligated to come?
Please tell me I’m not the only one who has people on their guest list that they don’t want to be at their wedding!
Post # 3
Oh goodness, I’m sorry. That’s so not okay it’s ridiculous. The thought that you would be pressured to inviting them to your wedding by an executive supervisor is awful.
I don’t know what to tell you – I can understand not wanting them there, but I think it will make your work life miserable if you don’t.
Look for a new job?
Good luck. 🙁 What an awful situation.
Post # 4
Listen to me carefully… as I would shake you if I saw you in person.
THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY! You are the one getting married and if they are people that you feel would make your day ANY LESS THAN PERFECT, they should not be invited. I understand the crappy office politics and that it will be very uncomfortable if you do not invite them, but from what you’re saying I don’t see how it could get any worse. As for your boss telling you who to invite to your wedding… he’s putting his thoughts into someplace they do not belong.
Sorry for being so brash… but this is something i feel very strongly about. I feel that a wedding day should be nothing but special for you and your FI. I’m sure you could totally make up a believable lie so that you can bump them from the list.
Post # 5
Why would your executive supervisor force you, even if indirectly, to invite them? He’s not paying for the wedding so what gives him the right to dictate to you who to invite? I’m sorry you are going through this, must be frustrating and really not fair to you.
Post # 6
I second lilyfaith: get out of there if you can. And if you can, do not invite them. They sound like horrible, vile people. Meanwhile, I suggest reporting everything that happens and if possible, get proof. This is not acceptable at all and sounds like it borders on harrassment.
Post # 7
Are you inviting other people from your office? You don’t have to invite any coworkers, but if you are inviting others you would probably want to invite your boss.
Post # 8
give them a fake invite and send them to a park…
sorry to hear your in that situation.. what are the chances of them coming?? 100% 50/50??
Post # 9
How many guests will be at the wedding?
How many people from your office did you invite?
My advice really depends on your answers to those questions…
Post # 10
And why is he okay with her drinking on the job? I mean, it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to look into these allegations . . .
Post # 11
Wait, hold up. Your supervisor told you who you should invite?
Since you already sent STDs, I don’t think you can get out of inviting them. Your best bet might be to send the invites reaaaaaaally late in hopes that they will have already made plans.
Post # 12
You dont have to invite anybody you dont want to, how dare your executive supervisor say such a thing? Its not his wedding, you want to be comfortable and happy and want positive vibes on your wedding day, it wouldnt be worth it to me to have someone I dislike at my wedding. My sister has been such a b**** throughout my whole wedding process and im so happy she’s not going to my wedding, as for everyone else, they are happy for us and im excited they are attending. A friend of mine said she didnt like my FI for no reason at all, so I straight up told her if she didnt have nice things to say about my future husband then please do not show up at my wedding and fake like you are excited
Post # 13
Wow, it sucks that you are forced to invite people you work with to your wedding. I was under the impression that it’s usually at your discretion. I kind of wonder if you really want to keep that job though? If it’s making you very unhappy (I know the market is awful right now) but maybe you could start discreetly looking for a new job? If not, seat them far away from everyone else at a table with other people you’re not overly fond of and just ignore them perhaps?
Post # 14
Oh, girl, I’m so sorry! I can’t believe a superior would actually pressure you to invite them to your wedding!! But I agree with lilyfaith, it might make your work life miserable otherwise. Are you planning to look for a new job? Because I don’t know if I could stand that. I wrote a post a whiiiile ago about a girl that’s invited to my wedding because when invites went out she was dating one of FI’s best friends and they were living together–since then, he’s broken up with her, she’s moved halfway across the country, and started bad mouthing me every chance she gets. (She’s also blocked me on gchat and facebook.) BUT. She RSVP’d yes to the wedding. I’m fairly certain she’s planning to come because it’s her only good excuse to see her ex….but I have spoken to him about this, and she is going to be uninvited. Awkward, but it’s my day, so I don’t care. Crazy b****. You don’t have that same option, so I say, just send them the invites, ignore them at work as best you can, and you probably won’t even see them at the wedding! ((HUGS))
Post # 15
That sounds like a really awful environment to work in. The behavior of your boss is deplorable – three hour lunches? drinking on the job!?!? If upper management won’t respond to those issues (and whatever other issues there are), maybe you should consider looking for a different job . Normally I would advocate for inviting your boss just for “polite-ness” sake, but I would refuse! It’s hard now that they got the STD cards though….
Post # 16
Wait, why do you have to invite her? Because the other supervisor said so? Last I heard, this wasn’t his wedding. I most likely wouldn’t invite anyone from the office and call it a day, BUT since you already sent out STDs, I guess you’re kind stuck with it 🙁
I had one person I absolutely did not want at the wedding, but we had to invite him because he was my mom’s BF (and still is). He’s insulted me in public numerous times, caused scenes at family gatherings and pretty much ruins everyone’s time whenever he’s around. BUT, he came to our wedding, and he was fine. I honestly barely even noticed he was there. So keep that in mind 🙂