(Closed) If this person comes to my wedding, I’ll DIE

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh goodness, I’m sorry. That’s so not okay it’s ridiculous. The thought that you would be pressured to inviting them to your wedding by an executive supervisor is awful.

I don’t know what to tell you – I can understand not wanting them there, but I think it will make your work life miserable if you don’t.

Look for a new job?

Good luck. 🙁 What an awful situation.

Post # 4
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Listen to me carefully… as I would shake you if I saw you in person.

THIS IS YOUR WEDDING DAY!  You are the one getting married and if they are people that you feel would make your day ANY LESS THAN PERFECT, they should not be invited.  I understand the crappy office politics and that it will be very uncomfortable if you do not invite them, but from what you’re saying I don’t see how it could get any worse.  As for your boss telling you who to invite to your wedding… he’s putting his thoughts into someplace they do not belong.

Sorry for being so brash… but this is something i feel very strongly about.  I feel that a wedding day should be nothing but special for you and your FI.  I’m sure you could totally make up a believable lie so that you can bump them from the list.

Post # 5
Member
1067 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Why would your executive supervisor force you, even if indirectly, to invite them? He’s not paying for the wedding so what gives him the right to dictate to you who to invite? I’m sorry you are going through this, must be frustrating and really not fair to you.

Post # 6
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I second lilyfaith: get out of there if you can. And if you can, do not invite them. They sound like horrible, vile people. Meanwhile, I suggest reporting everything that happens and if possible, get proof. This is not acceptable at all and sounds like it borders on harrassment.

Post # 7
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Are you inviting other people from your office?  You don’t have to invite any coworkers, but if you are inviting others you would probably want to invite your boss.

Post # 8
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

give them a fake invite and send them to a park…

sorry to hear your in that situation.. what are the chances of them coming?? 100% 50/50??

Post # 9
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

How many guests will be at the wedding?

How many people from your office did you invite?

My advice really depends on your answers to those questions…

Post # 10
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

And why is he okay with her drinking on the job? I mean, it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to look into these allegations . . .

Post # 11
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Wait, hold up.  Your supervisor told you who you should invite?

Not Okay!

Since you already sent STDs, I don’t think you can get out of inviting them.  Your best bet might be to send the invites reaaaaaaally late in hopes that they will have already made plans.

Post # 12
Member
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You dont have to invite anybody you dont want to, how dare your executive supervisor say such a thing? Its not his wedding, you want to be comfortable and happy and want positive vibes on your wedding day, it wouldnt be worth it to me to have someone I dislike at my wedding.  My sister has been such a b**** throughout my whole wedding process and im so happy she’s not going to my wedding, as for everyone else, they are happy for us and im excited they are attending. A friend of mine said she didnt like my FI for no reason at all, so I straight up told her if she didnt have nice things to say about my future husband then please do not show up at my wedding and fake like you are excited

Post # 13
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Wow, it sucks that you are forced to invite people you work with to your wedding. I was under the impression that it’s usually at your discretion. I kind of wonder if you really want to keep that job though? If it’s making you very unhappy (I know the market is awful right now) but maybe you could start discreetly looking for a new job? If not, seat them far away from everyone else at a table with other people you’re not overly fond of and just ignore them perhaps?

Post # 14
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Oh, girl, I’m so sorry!  I can’t believe a superior would actually pressure you to invite them to your wedding!!  But I agree with lilyfaith, it might make your work life miserable otherwise.  Are you planning to look for a new job?  Because I don’t know if I could stand that.  I wrote a post a whiiiile ago about a girl that’s invited to my wedding because when invites went out she was dating one of FI’s best friends and they were living together–since then, he’s broken up with her, she’s moved halfway across the country, and started bad mouthing me every chance she gets.  (She’s also blocked me on gchat and facebook.)  BUT.  She RSVP’d yes to the wedding.  I’m fairly certain she’s planning to come because it’s her only good excuse to see her ex….but I have spoken to him about this, and she is going to be uninvited.  Awkward, but it’s my day, so I don’t care.  Crazy b****.  You don’t have that same option, so I say, just send them the invites, ignore them at work as best you can, and you probably won’t even see them at the wedding!  ((HUGS)) 

Post # 15
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

That sounds like a really awful environment to work in.  The behavior of your boss is deplorable – three hour lunches? drinking on the job!?!?  If upper management won’t respond to those issues (and whatever other issues there are), maybe you should consider looking for a different job Frown.  Normally I would advocate for inviting your boss just for “polite-ness” sake, but I would refuse!  It’s hard now that they got the STD cards though….

Post # 16
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Wait, why do you have to invite her? Because the other supervisor said so? Last I heard, this wasn’t his wedding. I most likely wouldn’t invite anyone from the office and call it a day, BUT since you already sent out STDs, I guess you’re kind stuck with it 🙁

I had one person I absolutely did not want at the wedding, but we had to invite him because he was my mom’s BF (and still is). He’s insulted me in public numerous times, caused scenes at family gatherings and pretty much ruins everyone’s time whenever he’s around. BUT, he came to our wedding, and he was fine. I honestly barely even noticed he was there. So keep that in mind 🙂

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