Post # 1
So my cousin is having a birthday party for her daughter. When I got the invite I texted 2 of my other cousins and asked them if they were going to be going to the birthday party. They said no “we’re not going to be able to make it”, no reason given, no excuse, nothing. We’re all adults so I’m not going to ask “why?”, it’s not my problem but there’s a very obvious pattern occuring for them….anytime it’s something that doesn’t involve them or their children, they can’t be bothered. I’m 90% sure they didn’t even RSVP “no” to my cousin who’s hosting the party, at least they hadn’t as of the day before the RSVP was due. Their parents are not going either though no one has been told why they can’t come.
I then tried to get my sister to go but she apparently has too much going on (as she has taken in THREE foreign exchange students on top of her other 3 kids whom are still living at home…I’m not gonna go there) and my mom won’t drive it on her own, nor drive to my house an hour away so I can drive us (now that she’s getting older she’s developed a fear of driving). My other aunt can’t go because her husband is really really sick and just recently got out of the hospital.
So it’s my SO & I and 1 aunt & 1 uncle. Out of probably 20/25 people, 4 of us are going. I feel terrible. I keep thinking that if I was hosting this party, if this were my daughter, I would be SO hurt and so mad/upset. She has driven on her own to my other cousins’ baby showers, kids’ birthdays, baptisms…she comes whenever she can even if she’s own her own & the rest of my family won’t go to her only daughter’s first birthday party. My sister & mom make it to almost everything else so it’s not so much that I’m angry at them as I am completely disappointed that they’re not coming to this.
I just needed to vent mostly because I feel like my family is being selfish. I also wanted to know, if you were the one hosting this party, how you would feel if people didn’t come & many didn’t RSVP either. Thanks for listening bees.
ETA: My family is supposedly really close. I know some families barely talk to each other so I figured that was important to add here.
Post # 3
@soontobemrsm11: I wouldn’t let it bother you. You are doing the right thing going and that is all you can do. Many adults I know find childrens parties a little boring. I have 2 boys 11&13 and they would beg me not to make them go, however they would be going, as I’d feel bad just like you.
Post # 4
@Holly77: Oh I KNOW it’ll be boring lol mainly since I have no children. but I’m planning on staying about an hour & it’s definitely just the thought. I want to be there for my cousin. I don’t love the idea of driving for 3-4 hours total that day but I’ll do it because I love my cousin & want to be there for her. I’m trying not to let it bug me but I’m just annoyed. I’ll be over it by tomorrow but I just hope my cousin isn’t as easily bothered as I am lol
Post # 5
@soontobemrsm11: My daughter had the misfortune of being born on Labor Day weekend. My mom is a huge partier and always goes camping with all of her friends so she missed my daughter’s first birthday and will probably miss all of them. Can’t even lie, it breaks my heart a little bit. Oh well.
Post # 6
@soontobemrsm11: I’ve been your cousin, actually. I was hosting my son’s birthday party at the park, I invited all his classmates, about 20-30 children and their parents and siblings. I had bought enough food to accomodate all (it’s uncommon for people to RSVP here, they just show up. I hate it, but what can you do?). I reserved the entire pavillion. I set up all the tables with decorations, platic tablecloths, etc.
And one kid and his mom came.
I was a little upset, I will admit. We had TONS of food leftover and I encouraged the one mom and kid to eat like kings because we would never eat as much food as I had.
But you know what?
The one kid who came was plenty. He and my son ran off to the playground with my FI and they all had a blast. My son was completely happy, and that is all that mattered.
So for you, depending on the child’s age, I would definitely suggest paying lots of attention to your cousin’s daughter, make her feel special, and I’m sure she’ll be happy.
Post # 7
@Omgbunnies: it’s the daughter’s 1st birthday so she won’t even remember it. and i’m sure they’ll have friends there but it just annoys me lol i’m more hoping my cousin isnt hurt than the baby even knowing whats going on
Post # 8
@soontobemrsm11: I wouldn’t get too up in your family’s business on this one. You’re doing what you think is right, don’t worry too much about what everyone else chooses to do.
Post # 9
@soontobemrsm11: Ooooh I see. 1st birthday huh? Well I wouldn’t worry too much, the baby won’t remember, and your cousin will at least have a few people coming.