Post # 1
My future father in law is a Baptist pastor. Originally, we were going to have our reception in the church gym, but it’s looking like we’re going to have it where I wanted to have it originally. My fiance and I really want a first dance, it’s important to us, and we want our friends to have the option of dancing. They’ve told us that if we have dancing at the reception that they will not come to it because they don’t want it to ruin their reputation. This is killing me. The first dance is so important to us and my family. What do I do?
Post # 2
what the heck!!
You have your dance, and if that’s the hill they want to die on then I feel sorry for them.
Post # 3
chirpychappers: I don’t know what you should do, but that is TOTALLY RIDICULOUS.
That is all.
Post # 4
chirpychappers: Sorry but that is THEIR choice to not partake in dancing, not yours. What do you do at a wedding if you don’t dance?
Post # 5
Don’t give in to their threats Do you seriously think they’ll miss their son’s wedding? No. They won’t.
Post # 6
a woman i know had this same issue. she had her wedding and invited everyone she wanted. her husbands family came to the ceremony and dinner. then left. then they had the dancing and drinking part after for her family and all their friends. this worked for them.
Post # 7
*face palm*. Hope they enjoy sitting on the couch at home on the most important day of their son’s life.
Post # 8
Can you maybe have a little break between the dinner and the dance so that it would be ok for them to leave before the dancing starts? How strange that something like a dance would bother them…
How does your FI feel about it?
Post # 9
As upsetting as it is to deal with, some people have strong religious beliefs. Asking them to condone dancing is simply not on the table. This is the family you are marrying into.
Plan your reception so that you do not put them in this awkward position. Have a brunch, afternoon tea, or early evening dinner recpeption without dancing so they do not feel forced to make a scene by leaving.
Then have an after party dance for our friends and any other guests who want to party.
Post # 10
chirpychappers: Will they still attend the ceremony? Because that’s the most important part of the day.
Post # 11
chirpychappers: How would dancing ruin their rep? Not to mention, how selfish that they only care about themselves. Tell them you’re doing it your way, and if they don’t want to come, thats their problem. You only get to do this once, make it how you want it.
Post # 12
I would think their reputation would be damaged more if people found out they didn’t attend their son’s wedding over something relatively trivial like this…right?
I understand that in their religion dancing is not ok. So, fine. But can’t they attend the wedding without participating in the dancing, and that way everyone’s happy?
Post # 13
chirpychappers: i know dancing doesn’t seem like a big deal to most of us on the bee, but to dyed-in-the-wool baptists (are they southern baptist by any chance?) it IS a big deal. i know at my former church the shit would have hit the fan if someone did so much as the chicken dance at a reception. harmless as it seems to us, it’s still something that’s not okay in their book.
so i think they have the right to decline attendance–although i think it’s a total dick move that it is because of their reputation, and not directly because they don’t agree with it–just like you guys have the right to want dancing. why not have an early evening ceremony/reception, and then after dinner (which is when the dancing gets going anyway) you can start the dances. you could let your FILs know in advance so that if they, and any other non-dance-approving guests, want to leave early they can.
Post # 14
- Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess
They need to watch Footloose, seriously.
Screw ’em if they don’t want to come. Do what you want.
Post # 15
I would have a break after dinner where anyone who doesn’t agree with dancing can leave or have no dancing at the actual reception with an after party where you can dance it up.