if we have dancing my future in-laws won't come.

posted 2 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

what the heck!!

You have your dance, and if that’s the hill they want to die on then I feel sorry for them.

Post # 3
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

chirpychappers:  I don’t know what you should do, but that is TOTALLY RIDICULOUS.

That is all.

Post # 4
Member
5017 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

chirpychappers:  Sorry but that is THEIR choice to not partake in dancing, not yours. What do you do at a wedding if you don’t dance?

Post # 5
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Don’t give in to their threats  Do you seriously think they’ll miss their son’s wedding?  No.  They won’t.  

Post # 6
Member
6279 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

 

 a woman i know had this same issue.  she had her wedding and invited everyone she wanted.  her husbands family came to the ceremony and dinner.  then left.  then they had the dancing and drinking part after for her family and all their friends.  this worked for them.

 

Post # 7
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

*face palm*. Hope they enjoy sitting on the couch at home on the most important day of their son’s life. 

Post # 8
Member
80 posts
Worker bee

Can you maybe have a little break between the dinner and the dance so that it would be ok for them to leave before the dancing starts? How strange that something like a dance would bother them…

 

How does your FI feel about it? 

Post # 9
Member
42538 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As upsetting as it is to deal with, some people have strong religious beliefs. Asking them to condone dancing is simply not on the table.  This is the family you are marrying into.

Plan your reception so that you do not put them in this awkward position. Have a brunch, afternoon tea, or early evening dinner recpeption without dancing so they do not feel forced to make a scene by leaving.

Then have an after party dance for our friends and any other guests who want to party.

Post # 10
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

chirpychappers:  Will they still attend the ceremony? Because that’s the most important part of the day.

Post # 11
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

 

chirpychappers:  How would dancing ruin their rep? Not to mention, how selfish that they only care about themselves. Tell them you’re doing it your way, and if they don’t want to come, thats their problem. You only get to do this once, make it how you want it.

Post # 12
Member
4410 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would think their reputation would be damaged more if people found out they didn’t attend their son’s wedding over something relatively trivial like this…right?

I understand that in their religion dancing is not ok. So, fine. But can’t they attend the wedding without participating in the dancing, and that way everyone’s happy? 

Post # 13
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

chirpychappers:  i know dancing doesn’t seem like a big deal to most of us on the bee, but to dyed-in-the-wool baptists (are they southern baptist by any chance?) it IS a big deal. i know at my former church the shit would have hit the fan if someone did so much as the chicken dance at a reception. harmless as it seems to us, it’s still something that’s not okay in their book.

so i think they have the right to decline attendance–although i think it’s a total dick move that it is because of their reputation, and not directly because they don’t agree with it–just like you guys have the right to want dancing. why not have an early evening ceremony/reception, and then after dinner (which is when the dancing gets going anyway) you can start the dances. you could let your FILs know in advance so that if they, and any other non-dance-approving guests, want to leave early they can.

Post # 14
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015 - Ruby Princess

They need to watch Footloose, seriously.

Screw ’em if they don’t want to come. Do what you want.

Post # 15
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would have a break after dinner where anyone who doesn’t agree with dancing can leave or have no dancing at the actual reception with an after party where you can dance it up.

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