Post # 1
Hello bees! I have been away from the hive for the 6 months since I became a Newlywed, but have been getting back in the swing of things here.
I have been thinking about the wedding a lot for the last few months, and I think that I am getting a more perspective now that I am out of the whirlwind. So I am wondering what everyone else who has taken the plunge thinks about their wedding in retrospect. What would you change? Are you happy with your choices? And so on. Maybe it will help future brides, and maybe it will just satisfy my curiousity.
To be totally honest, I wish we would have sat down and really considered the reprecussions of different “types” of weddings (large and traditional, elopement, destination, etc). We had a large and traditional without thinking about it. And while I had a fun time and everything went fine, I really don’t think I would do it again if I went back in time. It was SO much money and stress and time, and even the little family drama we had made the whole process pretty unenjoyable. I look back and get kind of depressed that I spent a year of my life planning a party. Yes, I got to marry the man of my dreams, but I would have been able to do that with a lot less expense and stress because we spent so much time trying to make other people happy.
It’s in the past one way or another, so I am not agonizing over the choices I made. But I assumed that “everyone regrets it if they don’t have a big wedding”, since that’s what I was told. And I don’t know that it’s true. So, what do you all think? What do you wish you would have changed? Or what are you happy about doing?
Post # 3
I regret some the aesthetic choices I made. Which in hindsight if that’s really the only thing I regret from the actual day, then I did pretty good.
But if I’m being really honest about the entire wedding process, deep down inside, I wish I would’ve considered elopement. I wish I would’ve spent TONS of money on a gorgeous dream gown, gotten my hair and makeup done and found a gorgeous location where it could’ve been me and DH and our immediate families (no way our parents wouldn’t witness our wedding). Then I would’ve just taken beyond gorgeous pictures at that location. We would’ve saved a ton of money and I would’ve gotten to make an excessive splurge on a dress 🙂 Except in my religion it’s not so cut and dry so I know this really wouldn’t have been a realistic option, but deep down I feel like maybe I could’ve made it work if I fought for it.
Post # 4
I’m not married yet, but I would have done things so differently. I would have had a longer engagement and spent more time familiarizing myself with my wedding likes and dislikes. I would have been more assertive in getting what I want.
Post # 5
I also would not have spent so much money….1 day…26k…it just seems so crazy now. Esp since DH lost his job 2 weeks after our wedding. My day was amazing though…and beautiful and i get to spend the reso ofmy life with my best friend!
Post # 6
I’m not married yet and I’m already wishing I could back up 6 months and not put up with FI dictating so much about the day. I would get rid of the bland colour scheme and have a rainbow coloured wedding. I’d not have any BM’s as i’m not really short on guests!
Post # 7
My wedding isn’t till September, and I know it’s going to be wonderful, but in hindsight, we would have eloped to Vegas. Planning the wedding has become almost a full-time job for us, and all told, it’s expensive. I miss my money.
Post # 8
I am not married yet, but it is also too late for me to change what I have decided on. I decided on a destination wedding. I thought to do so to make things simple and save money. Also, to have it intimate. Well, I have a few friends who booked, and I believe that is all that is going. Not one of my family members is going. It is also hard to envison what the wedding will be like because I cannot see anything in person. I wish I just planned a smaller wedding here at home.
Post # 9
I wish I had eloped. I honestly do. My wedding was beautiful and fun and it was nice having all our family and friends in one place, but I still think I would have been just as happy had I eloped. That’s my advice to all newly engaged couples – consider elopement!
Post # 10
thanks for the advice everyone..the small intimate wedding/elopement seems like a theme! i was just thinking today about my huge fantasy dream wedding..then i realized wtf am i thinking – this is totally not reflective of me/us!? it’s great to hear everyone’s perspective hindsight is 20/20! keep it coming 🙂
Post # 11
FI and I were both married before and both had a courthouse wedding/elopement style wedding. We both agreed that was a mistake and dedicated ourselves to having a bigger, more traditional wedding this time around. I think maybe the grass is always greener…?
Post # 12
we eloped and only 2 things i would change about our wedding.
the time, 1pm on tropical beach is HOT and 2, i would have hired a photographer. everything else was fun and relaxed and for us it was perfect
Post # 13
I was afraid I would feel like this, but I feel very lucky that I can look back on my day and say I wouldn’t change a thing. I didn’t want a big fuss, but just a little. We had a small 25 person wedding in my favorite location and even though there are little things we had to give up (like dancing and a church) it was absolutely perfect and we both look back and think that. I think it’s important to really thing about what you want and what all that entails before signing on the line.
Post # 14
@star_dust: We did what you said you wished you’d done, and we don’t regret it at all. I got the beautiful gown, my hair and makeup done, a beautiful location and an intimate ceremony for DH and me… We didn’t, however, have any family and friends present, but we wouldn’t change that, because deep down we really wanted it to just be the two of us.
There really isn’t anything I would have done differently for the wedding. Our wedding was beyond perfect and everything I wanted. It was just the two of us, and even though we got some flack from my mom, we’re glad we didn’t cave to her pressure and change our plans.
We had the reception eight months after the ceremony, and there are some things I would have done differently for that. But all of those things are inconsequential small things.
Post # 15
Gosh, this seems totally stupid and vane, but I really wish I’d had someone pack me a curling iron. My hair was down and all the curls fell out when we were taking pictures outside (in the 90 degree sun and 100% humidity). My hair looks a mess in several of the pictures at the reception 🙁 Don’t know when I would’ve had the time though…
Other than that, maybe I would’ve picked different colors – I picked some before I’d even spent much time looking at wedding stuff and then felt like was stuck with them.
I also would’ve made my expectations clearer to my bridesmaids. They were all from out of town and so I wasn’t expecting to/didn’t have their help for anything leading up to the wedding but I assumed they would just be around to help with whatever once they got to town the Thursday before our Saturday wedding. Instead almost everyone made plans to do other things the days before and though I really needed help finishing up all the last minute details I ended up with only one bridesmaid’s help instead of five. I’m sure if I’d just been more assertive and communicated better they would have had no problem helping.