If you could redo it all…..what would you do differently???

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@flowermower:  I would have invited everyone to our luncheon reception. At $15/plate, we could have afforded to invite our entire extended families, and I regret that we didn’t.

Who wants to travel 9 hours for a luncheon with no dancing? My extended family DEFINITELY would have! And I wish I would have invited them.

Post # 4
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would have hired a wedding planner.  Or I would have convinced my husband to elope.

Post # 5
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I would have had the wedding a few weeks earlier so that my Pop Pop could have attended. He died 6 days before the wedding. He was supposed to say the blessing before dinner was served. 🙁

Post # 7
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would have gone with a fulll service venue. I would have not hired vendors who didn’t respond to their email quickly!

Post # 8
Member
6000 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m not married yet but there are a few people who I wouldn’t have invited. They were more of “courtesy” invites and I regret not inviting only people who we are close with/talk to on a regular basis.

I would have been more thorough when doing my invitations. In a rush to get them out, I forgot to # the RSVP cards, didn’t insert our registry info (that’s done around here and not looked down on), and didn’t go through each envelope, when I got them back from the printer, to make sure there weren’t any mistakes (turns out my cousin got 2 invitations, which means someone didn’t get one)

I would have stood in my shoes for at least 30 minutes right after I bought them so I could see if they were comfortable. I had my alterations appt the other day and found out that I no longer want to wear heels for my wedding lol

Post # 9
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@IzzyBear:  I agree. I felt that I ended up inviting a lot of folks out of courtesy as well but they seemed to enjoy themselves so I suppose it wasn’t a total loss. It was just a good hit to our budget

I would have gotten my hair done a bit differently or made sure I had the hair stylist secure it better. I had quite a few locks fall loose but it wasnt too horrible. Just annoying.

I also would have had a dessert bar. We had mini cupcakes and we forgot to get little “take-home” boxes for people for the cupcakes. Other than that, everything else was just fine with me.

Post # 10
Member
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Not married quite yet, but we would have eloped. I got talked out of eloping, and I really wish I’d fought harder for it.

Post # 11
Member
297 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The ONLY thing I regret is not talking to very many people. I hate that I didn’t take the time to go and talk to the most important people! I think about it daily and I think to myself, “gosh, you are selfish & rude”…I was just so “in the moment” and having an absolute blast that I didn’t even think to go and talk to people. Before I knew it, the night was over 🙁

Post # 12
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

I would have either hired a day-of coordinator, or had like a “family meeting” for his and my immediate families to lay out day-of responsibilities/times. Because I would have stressed:

1. What time to show up!! Photographer started at 3:00, family photos were supposed to be at 4:30, and the ceremony was supposed to start at 6:00. My immediate family didn’t show up until 5:00 (they volunteered to do ceremony set-up!!) and they were not yet dressed in their dress clothes. My husband’s brother (BEST MAN) showed up at 5:30 (after first going to the WRONG VENUE in another city!!), and his parents showed up at  about 5:45 (!!!!!!), and forgot to bring the giant white cooler, ice, and packs of water bottles that we bought for the guests since it was outdoors and hot. MIL’s response when it was brought up later? “*laugh* Oh nobody noticed!” When they got there, they simply sat in their chairs and WATCHED my poor family set up the ceremony space in a rush.

2. How to set up the ceremony space. I had a clearly labeled cardboard box full of what needed to be at the ceremony, and only half the box ended up unpacked and I don’t know why. There wasn’t a lot. There were pew bows for each row, “reserved” signs for the front rows, an arch, a sand ceremony kit, and a photograph of my deceased mom that I wanted placed in the front chair closest to me. The venue coordinator also volunteered the use of her white aisle runner, which I graciously thanked her for letting us use. In the end there were only pew bows on the two front rows of one side, and one front row of the other side (bugged my OCD to not do the same number on each side, let alone ALL the rows!). They were not tied with the pretty ribbon* provided in the pew bow bag, but rather someone used PACKING TAPE to attach them 🙁 The photo of my mother was never placed on the front chair, which makes me really really sad still. There was also no aisle runner, and the floor of the pavilion was really ugly and had a big sharpie line that was supposed to indicate where the aisle runner would go. It was ugly as heck and I dislike all of my “walking down the aisle” photos because of it.

*I really wanted that ribbon used because the last time I saw my mother before she died, we were shopping for wedding supplies and we bought that ribbon together. I know it’s a tiny thing to be upset about, but I just knew how badly my mom wanted to help plan the wedding and that was one of the few things she helped with before she passed.

Post # 13
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@flowermower:  I am not married yet, but if I could go back, I would definitely not have invited as many people as we have. We have a guest list of 210, we have had some declines already but we are still going to end up with at least 180 people which is 30 people over our budget.

Post # 14
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Not married yet, but add me to the “wish I had eloped” camp.  My fiance is finally seeing things my way after realizing how fast the costs racked up.  It’s the ultimate “I told you so.”I am trying to enjoy it and not think about how much of my student loans I could have paid off instead of paying for a big wedding I didn’t really want in the first place. Yell

I also would have waited until after the Save the Dates were sent out before getting my bridal party together.  So many things have changed…people have moved, gotten pregnant, lost jobs, etc.  All my girls have said that they are committed and have been there for me, but I feel like a couple of them are only in it because they felt obligated to be in it when I asked 18 months ago.

Post # 15
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I probably would have done a destination wedding with just immediately family.

Post # 16
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Ilovewine:  +1.

I asked my girls RIGHT after I got engaged. Then we ended up postponing the wedding because of moving across the country. Now we are getting married this October…over two years later. So much changed and while I am still friends with all of them….I know I would not do it the same.

 

I’m another who wanted to elope and FI wanted the wedding. Even though my head is spinning from stress I am mostly glad we are having a “real” wedding (it’s still super small..40 people).

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