(Closed) If you didn’t like your ring, how did you tell him?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

Ouch.  This one was tough.  There were definitely tears (me, of course) involved, but I didn’t feel TOO TOO badly, because I had actually picked out the setting I grew to not love! 

We got the engagement ring reset, and are now trying to figure out what to do about the empty setting, because it’s platinum, and won’t fetch NEARLY what we paid for if we sell it as scrap.

Post # 4
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’ve been engaged for 8 months, and about a month ago my FI and I went shopping for wedding bands.  After trying on about a million bands, I came to the conclusion that nothing was going to look the way I wanted it to.  My e-ring had a rounded band with a lot of detail engraved into it.  It’s not that I didn’t like my e-ring, I just didn’t like the way it looked with a wedding band (which is kind of a big deal).  So, I explained the situation to my FI and asked what he thought about resetting my diamond into a new band that had a matching wedding band. He was totally fine with the idea. I just came out and asked and made sure that he wouldn’t be uspet or wouldn’t have hurt feelings and he was fine. All he is said is that he wants me to be totally happy and if that is what would make me happy then do it 🙂 

Post # 5
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I had to comment on this post, ONLY because about 2 weeks before my FH proposed (and about 4 weeks after he ordered the ring) we were just chatting casually about how someone told me there is this statistic where over 50% of women don’t end up liking their engagement rings, ha ha ha my FH aparently was sweating bullets and was so afraid he had gotten me something horrible

Although he couldnt go wrong with getting me a tacori, he was really worried. Almost didnt propose because he didn’t tell anyone he was going to – not even his best friend so was debating actually telling people so he could ask them what they thought of the ring

silly story…had to comment ha ha

Post # 6
Member
214 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

This can definitely be a tricky situation but I think the best idea is to be honest if you’re not happy with your ring. If you don’t feel it suits you or reflects who you are then it’s not exactly fair to you to repress your feelings. Especially since you’ll be wearing it every day. I say broach the subject but try to handle it as delicately as possible!

Post # 7
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

In this scenario you should be lucky to have a ring at all!

However, if he loves you, he’s probably willing to accept you don’t like it and find what you really like. Though he’ll probably think you’re crazy.

Post # 8
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

@Ms.Chapel: I think you’re being a bit harsh!  She isn’t saying that her man didn’t do a "good enough job" or "isn’t good enough" – she’s simply saying that she wants to wear this ring every day for the rest of her life and as such, she would really like to feel comfortable in it and find something that reflects her taste.

I think you should just have a very open, honest and candid conversation with your FI about the whole matter.  After all, you will be forced to have these very candid discussions about life issues during the wedding planning and marriage 🙂  

Good Luck – I don’t think it’s a horrible thing to switch up your E-ring setting and I don’t think you should let anyone make you feel like it is!

Post # 9
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

We picked out my ring together at Robbins Bros, so I had my heart on this reallllly unique ring, and in the end we had a bad experience with them and didn’t get it, so then I had to find a different one. I guess it’s b/c my heart was set on the other that nothing else compared in the Ering department. Then went to the mall the day after Thanksgiving and found an amazing deal on a beautiful 10,800 dollar diamond for less than $2K!! The store was closing out. The diamond was on a super plain white gold band.

While it’s nothing like the gorgeous band the ering I picked out, since I’ve been wearing it, and it is the one he proposed with, I’ve grown very fond of it and I don’t think I could give it up even if I had the chance. However, I still want that super cool unique look of the other ring I had picked out. Soooo my resolution is to find a wedding band that is exactly my taste. I’m still having trouble finding one, but I found a sterling silver one that I love on ebay for $14. I think I’m going to buy it and have someone make a mold of it and make a white gold version for me. 

So maybe you can find a wedding band that is more your taste. Then you don’t have to hurt anyone’s feelings, or give up the actual ring he proposed with. Just an idea. 🙂

 

Post # 10
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have you picked out your wedding bands yet? You could always suggest getting a different engagement setting to match whatever band you want, but keeping the original diamond.

Post # 11
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

this one’s a tough one…i can totally relate as i received an e-ring that i did not like.  i’m not someone who has a poker face at all, so it was written all over my face when he proposed!  having been through it, and letting my emotions take over, here’s my advice – tell him gently and rationally that you were thinking of changing the ring up a bit.  do your best to not make him feel like he failed or let you down.  a frank conversation is the best way to go.  and don’t let others make you feel guilty that you don’t like your ring!  i’ve been there…

Post # 12
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with those who have mentioned broaching the subject by looking at matching wedding bands and e-rings…that sounds like a tactful way to do it, and then you don’t have to come right out and tell him you don’t like what he picked out.  I guess I’m a wuss, but I know how much thought and effort my fiance put into picking out my ring, and I couldn’t stand to hurt his feelings.  So if it were me, I would just say that I liked the look of matching sets and look at those.

Post # 13
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Yeah, I just told him. We found another ring, got it and now I have 2. I still wear the first because he picked it out and he is happy because I have a ring I actually like now.

Post # 14
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2001

Don’t feel bad if you don’t like your ring, I clearly told my FI when we first starting looking at rings that if I didn’t like the ring I probably wouldn’t like wearing it. We went shopping and I showed him what I liked and what I would not ever wear. In the end, I didn’t end up getting the ring I was hoping for, and truthfully, I wasn’t too thrilled about it. But the more and more I wear it, the more and more I love it! It just had to grow on me.

Post # 15
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I have a similar situation as yours, ES123.   I was so excited to be engaged, and like the ring.  But after a while wished it was a little different. (and my husband also said we could pick out something different.  The problem is I had a beef with the jewelry store he used.)   I never brought it up.  (Also, he bought something probably appropriate at the time, but now makes more money… and wish… ahh… I had something bigger.  I hated saying that.)

At this point, I just would like an anniversary ring.  That would make me happy.  And I would get to keep the ring he picked out as my engagement ring.  Whether or not I get the anniversary ring, who knows?  And I don’t press the issue.

Post # 16
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

There are also a lot of stores that do wedding or e-ring RE-VAMPs, where you can take in your current ring and they can re-design it to be new and fresh. Maybe look into meeting with one of those jewelers and see if there’s anything they can do with your current ring? Best of luck!!

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