(Closed) If you don’t attend a shower do you still give a gift?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Give a shower gift if you can't go and aren't really friends with the girl?
    Yes : (14 votes)
    33 %
    No : (19 votes)
    44 %
    Maybe ( explain) : (10 votes)
    23 %
  • Post # 3
    14498 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Ettiquette say yes, but I think this is one of those gray areas.  You might send something small, but if your not that good of friends, I don’t think you have to.

    Post # 5
    875 posts
    Busy bee

    I think if this is a case of being invited to a huge crowded shower and or wedding event that is more a gift grab than truly a shower of blessings from her nearest and dearest friends then it’s fine if you skip the shower and the wedding…  I was once invited to a wedding of a childhood friend who I hadn’t done anything significant with since sixth grade…and it wasn’t a case of either one of us moving!  Being invited to an event for a person that you have virtually no relationship with seems illogical.

    Post # 6
    14498 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If you aren’t really close, but she is a new friend, maybe just something small off her registry.  Maybe some kitchen towels or gadgets.

    Post # 7
    767 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    No, I wouldn’t give a gift in this case. For a close friend, I would probably still send a gift. For someone I wasn’t particularly close with, I’d just give a wedding gift later.

    Post # 8
    1940 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I would normally still get something but do it in a lower price range.  I would do something between 15-20.  If you don’t feel like giving a gift then don’t. 

    Post # 9
    5 posts
    • Wedding: September 2011

    ive been there- a family friend’s son was marrying a woman and her shower was pretty far away. i couldnt go but i sent a gift, but i spent a little less ($30) than i normally would have ($50)….  i think you “have” to give a gift.

    Post # 10
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i would spend $15-20 in this situation.

    Post # 11
    1757 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    The year before last, my then-fiance and I were invited to seven weddings in one summer, one of which was for a couple who live out in Portland, OR. I was invited to the bride’s shower, but I had never met her. I suspect it was one of those “invite every woman on the wedding guest list” sorts of things. I did not get her a shower gift, mainly because we were spending quite a bit of money to fly out to Portland and get them a wedding gift.

    In my case, I asked my Maid/Matron of Honor, who organized my shower, to only invite women with whom I was close friends. Quite a few of them could not make it, and only the people who attended brought gifts.

    Post # 12
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I wouldn’t get her anything. Maybe just send a card.

    Want to know why? Because out of the 60ish people who were invited to but didn’t attend our wedding, one got us a gift. And of the dozen or so who were invited to the shower but didn’t attend, none got us anything.

    I don’t know about etiquette, but it would seem in my social circle, if you don’t go, you don’t need to bother sending a gift.

    Post # 13
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    I would. I had that situation with a baby shower, it was my husband’s (then bf) friend’s wife and I was invited. I didn’t want to go b/c I barely knew her and wouldn’t know anybody there, but I still sent a gift. And I’m glad I did, now we’re good friends and she had to buy me gifts for my engagement party, shower, and wedding. I would have felt awful if I didn’t get her a shower gift.

    Post # 14
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I wouldnt get a gift. You can send a gift for the wedding.

    The topic ‘If you don’t attend a shower do you still give a gift?’ is closed to new replies.

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