If you had the chance of passing down a serious disorder would you still TTC?

posted 3 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Would you TTC again anyway?
    Yes : (25 votes)
    17 %
    No : (110 votes)
    74 %
    Other (explain below) : (14 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    5228 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @walnutgirl:  Probably not. I’d definately look into other options, such as egg donation or adoption.

    I am so sorry this happened to your friend 🙁

    Post # 4
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    I would probably TTC with donor eggs.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    Absolutely not.

    Post # 6
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    If it is fatal, probably not. If it’s just something that would make life different, like albinism (which runs in my family) then I wouldn’t consider not TTC naturally.

    Positive thoughts going out to your friend right now.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8593 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Probably not, it sounds very severe if her brother died from it.  Oh, it does depend on the risk though, if it’s a likely thing than probably not.  If chances are small then maybe.

    Post # 8
    Member
    4834 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    It depends on the risk. My husband is a type 1 diabetic, so our children have a 1/17 risk of getting it, though the fact that he was diagnosed at 27 and nobody else in his family has had it might lower that a bit. We will still have biological children and take that risk, because while it would be devastating if our children got it, it is not a death sentence and technology is improving every day so we would deal with it. If it were a more deadly disease or a higher risk, we would reconsider. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I struggle with this myself.  I have Crohn’s Disease and it is genetic.  While it’s chronic and not fatal, it sucks.  I thought I was the only one in my family to contract it, but my dad (57) is now starting to show symptoms.  I want munchkins, but I don’t know if I want to put them through this.  The one factor that is leaning me to having kids is the fact that they won’t have to go through as much struggle as I went through and we will know to test them and be able to coach them through all of the flare-ups.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1654 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    like others have said, it depends on the severity of the condition.  Something that would 90% lead to death of the child and was more than 50% likely each pregnancy, then no.

    But DH has osteochondromas (benign bone tumors), his mother, sister and nephew all have them, it is definitely genetic, but there is a 50% chance the child would get them each pregnancy. Since it isn’t life threatening and now-adays they don’t even remove them unless they are causing a problem (when DH was little they would remove them no matter what… he had LOTS of surgeries) it’s not even a blip on our radar. If it happens it happens, it’s no reason to not have a child of our own.

    Post # 12
    Member
    965 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @walnutgirl:  She could also go the donated egg route and invetro. It is expensive, but it does give her the opportunity to birth her future children if that is something she finds imoportant.

    Post # 13
    Member
    968 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Definitely not!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1015 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m sorry to hear about your friend.  While I know you have good intentions, please do not “advise” her on adoption.  I can promise you that she knows adoption is an option, you are not telling her something she doesn’t know, and very few things annoy people going through difficult times regarding their own childbearing more than a helpful hint to just adopt.  She may be able to do IVF with genetic screening of the embryos.  Or she may have to grieve the loss of having her own biological child, whether that means donor eggs or adoption.  Even if she decides to go the adoption route, it’s a process to make peace with that decision.  If she’s a good friend, she can use all the support you can give her, and you advising her to adopt isn’t going to make her feel supported.  If you have specific knowledge or experience with adoption, that’s really great and could be extremely helpful, but she will need that info when SHE’S ready to hear it, not hoisted onto her when she’s hurting.

    I don’t mean to sound harsh.  As someone who has had my own issues TTC, I have wanted to smack anyone who advises me to just adopt, as if I’d never thought of that before, and it’s the #1 complaint on infertility message boards.  I know this is isn’t infertility, but I think the logic applies.

    Post # 15
    Member
    10495 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    It really depends.  Is it something that can be detected by ultrasound fairly early on?

    What’s the estimated probability?  If it’s thought that it’s a recessive trait, so 25% and can be screen via ultrasound and we really wanted a child that was a mix of our genes then I probably would.  Higher than that, or if it can’t be screened for when it’s a 25% chance, no.

    Post # 16
    Member
    165 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I struggle with that question. I have Epilepsy and even though there is only a 5% chance I would pass that on to my child I am terrified to think of my child going through what I go through. My seizure disorder is severe and not 100% under control but I am happy to say I am at a really great point in my life right now.

    My biggest fear more so than my child inheriting a seizure disorder is the birth defects that my medication can cause. My nuerologist has stressed the importance of swithcing medications if I choose to become pregnant but changing medications causes me a lot of mental and physical difficulties and I could still have seizures or even increased seizures. I would be too afraid of what would happen to my child.

    We will happily look into adoption in our future.

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