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I totally know how you feel. I said “we should have just eloped” so many times during the planning process. In the month before I was mega stressed and not even looking forward to it. then the week before when one of my bridesmaids came into town and I took some time off it started to be real, and I am so glad I did what I did. My advice is this, stick to your choices once you make them. Don’t keep dress shopping once you buy your dress. Don’t second guess yourself. And when things have to change, just know it was right all along. I don’t know a single bride who had the wedding she started planning, and in every single case I think the wedding they had turned out better. I have no regrets for mine at all. We probably could have bought 40% less alcohol, and I definitely would have washed my car before my friends decorated it. Also I would have brought industrial solvent to remove the hairspray from my hair, but that’s about it! Good luck and trust yourself, and also trust the bees!
i don't think i would have changed much. i would have gone bridezilla on my venue and made them communicate with us more. they're very small so it was hard for them, but i'm a bride and i need to know things! i'm just the type of person to let things go though, and i shouldn't have. i would have gotten more practical shoes- my feet were killing just after the ceremony! i don't think i would have invited my "friends" to the ceremony. we had a 30 person ceremony and i invited 3 of my girlfriends who i've known forever, but we're just not good friends anymore.
i didn't want a "wedding" from the beginning, my husband did, and a lot of times that's what frusterated me. we were going through guest list drama, budget issues, etc. and i didn't really see the point of it. i'm sure if we had eloped, i would have been happy, but i was also loved the wedding we had so that way we were both happy. and we did have major issues with the guest list because it was such a small wedding, we still have family not speaking to us because they weren't invited to the ceremony. but i still wouldn't change it, i hate being center of attention, i stress out being in front of people, and i was able to not think about those things and concentrate on getting married.
I wish the economy didn't tank so my parents could have paid for most of the wedding. I feel bad thinking that way, but we had to use our house down payment to pay for our wedding, so I am bitter a little at my parents for not saving up for our wedding when they had 2+ years notice. Thankfully, my FIL is awesome and is now giving us the down payment.
But, having said that, largely I wouldn't change anything. Only buying things that I didn't use and wasting money. I woudl have invited more people. I would have prioritized to get things I wanted done most first and then let other things slide
I was quite serious about eloping a few times during our wedding, and once we asked a groomsman to step down who was continuously disrespectful toward us, planning was a lot easier.
I always say if I could change one thing about our planning process, it would have been to have a shorter engagement. Ours was 14 months, and I felt like I could have done it in six. Seriously. 14 months left too much time to reconsider things and nit pick everything.
There are a few small things I would have changed, too, but nothing worth mentioning because every wedding has problems. But, I would have kept our venue, colors and overall decor.
Oh that's what I forgot, a shorter engagment for the same exact reasons. Thanks Chapstick!
My wedding is in June so not quite here yet. But I think I have second guessed everything; but in the end I know it will be right and work out great!
One thing I would change would be not such a long engagement!!!
I agree with you girls; My engagement is going to be a year, and for the past 7 months it has been nothing but Wedding!! This month I have tried to concentrate on other things so I dont go crazy; I am just anxiously awating the day I say I do!
We got married last August so I've had a lot of time to reflect and second guess everything. For the most part, my wedding was a dream wedding and went unbelievably smoothly.
But, if I could do it over again, the things I would have changed/done differently:
Loved my venue but maybe I should have kept looking for a barn setting to have the reception either in the barn or under twinkle lights outside and a place where we could've had our sweet doggie in the wedding
Wish I would have used yellow in my color palette. It was a huge oversight on my part because yellow has a really special significance in my life - My family has been riddled with every kind of cancer you can imagine so I have been very involved in the Livestrong foundation for years, am a huge cycling fan and always wear my yellow band (as do my 13 year old daughter and husband). I really can't explain how I missed this obvious color choice. And now I really regret it - probably more than anything else.
Made a list of "must" shoots for phototog! She was so wonderful but I had a ton of DIY projects that never got photographed because she had no idea that they were even there (or that they weren't part of the venue). We worked really hard on them (including my family) so it was disappointing not to have any photos of our work.
Done a "first look" so we had more time for photos. My hubby was adamantly against it so we didn't see each other until I walked down the aisle. And then we were scrambling to take photos after the ceremony and it felt really rushed, disorganized and missed some photos.
Wish I would've had my breast reduction surgery BEFORE my wedding so half my photos weren't sporting outrageous cleavage (and therefore unusable). Or perhaps I could've had my seamstress make attachable straps for dancing at the reception.
And I wish I would've started getting ready earlier in the day for our 6pm ceremony. We all kind of laid around at the pool relaxing and I found myself running late getting hair and make up done and then getting to the venue.
Done a full hair and make up trial. My hairdresser - who is also a good friend - kind of did a "mock up" of my hair ahead of time but we never tried it for real nor did we do a make up trial (and I wasn't in love with how my make up turned out the day of)
Thanks! It helps to get all this off my chest and hopefully some of it can help you gals not make my same mistakes.
I agree with what most of you have said about a long engagement. We gave ourselves almost 2 whole years-23 months! We only did that because I was adamant about getting married in September and we had 3 back to back weddings in September of 09 so I pushed it another year. It's definitely given us too much time to have drama unfold and to second guess the things that I've chosen.
I guess I just don't feel like anything has gone smoothly and that bothers me so much because it's my nature to be extremely organized. Also, I am an event planner...as in, that's my profession and career. I organize events all the time - what am I doing wrong with mine that I've had all this trouble.
So far I would not have let some people know they would be invited so early because looking at the list now, some I have lost touch with. I would have looked more for my wedding dress. It suites my wedding just fine and it was practically a steal it was so cheap, but I don't know that it's "THE" dress. And I would have chosen what my BM's would be wearing...I'm not crazy about their dresses.
Phew - thanks for letting me vent and thanks for sharing your opinions. It helps to know I am not the only one.
Thanks ladies, this has all been great information....I'm planning my wedding in less than four months and to hear you all say that you would have wanted a shorter engagement makes me feel like I can pull it off!
If I had to do it all over again, I would have had a DW. Just something relaxing, intimate and sweet. Also I would have planned and paid for my rehearsal dinner, so I could have picked the place. But other than that, no.. there were some mishaps but it went pretty awesome and no one noticed.
I would have went away to get married and just come back and have a big party at our house on "the" lake...with a reggae band, beer, good food, good company! :) It probably would have been just as much fun as what I anticipate our wedding day being, but about half the price!
All of that aside, if I still chose to do the whole sha-bang like I am doing I would have definitely thought longer and harder about who to involve in the wedding: the bridal party, etc.
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If you had to/could do it all over again, would you change anything? Would you not invite some people? Would you still have it at the venue you've chosen? Would you change your colors?
I've only got 5 months to go and I've had lots of drama with my wedding (you may have seen other posts of mine). I really think if I had to do it over and I just got engaged I would go to city hall with me, FI, and some witnesses and have a casual, big party after for everyone. I am sure I will enjoy my big day because I am excited to marry the love of my life but sometimes wedding frustrations get the better of me! LOL