- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2015
So Boyfriend or Best Friend and I do not live together yet (we are moving in together in February) but he does spend the night a few times a week at my place. Lately, he has been spending the night more often. No real reason why, it just happened.
Anyway, I share a three bedroom apartment with my roommate, who is 19 years old and in college. I’m 25 and a young professional. I know, the age gap is a bit weird but our apartment complex does individual leases for each bedroom. And the leasing office assigns you a roommate. Pretty much like a college dorm, I suppose.
My roommate and I get along great despite the age difference. And she has always gotten along great with Boyfriend or Best Friend. And I told her in the beginning that Boyfriend or Best Friend would spend the night every now and then and if she got tired of that, to let me know.
But I admit, the frequency that Boyfriend or Best Friend has spent the night seems to have steadily increased…and our apartment complex is near the college where Boyfriend or Best Friend is also a student. So naturally, he’ll sometimes stop by my apartment to change out of his work uniform before class or whatever reason.
But we’ve always made sure that Boyfriend or Best Friend was only there when I was home and if I wasn’t home, I would text my roommate and let her know that Boyfriend or Best Friend was coming over in advance.
Anyway, Boyfriend or Best Friend texted me a little while ago and asked me to find out if my roommate was home because he needed somewhere to change clothes. So I texted my roommate and this was our conversation.
Me: “Hey, are you home right now?”
Roomie: “No. Why?”
Me: “BF needs to come over and change clothes. I just wanted to give you a heads up.”
Roomie: “Does he freaking live here now?”
Me: “No…he’s just stopping by for a few minutes to change clothes. And he’s not spending the night tonight.”
Roomie: “I’m over it.”
And that was it, I haven’t responded because I didn’t want it to escalate into an argument. I can see her point, Boyfriend or Best Friend HAS been spending the night a lot lately…but it’s not like it was planned, it just kinda happened that way.
So have you ever dealt with this? What would you do? How many nights a week maximum do you think he should spend the night? I want to make sure I maintain my friendship with my roommate because we really do get along great and I don’t want to do anything to mess that up. So what are your thoughts?
ETA: Forgot to mention, the third bedroom is currently empty and has been ever since I moved in. The leasing office hasn’t found a girl yet to occupy that bedroom so right now, it is just me and my one roommate.