Post # 1
An interesting topic came up on the radio today on my drive into work. A 23 y/o girl emailed in her thoughts which was something along the lines of:
My boyfriend of 3 years just found out he has terminal cancer and probably only has a year to live. I’m afraid he’s going to ask me to marry him this weekend, but I don’t want to be a widow when he passes away.
A few listeners called in with their own similar stories. One listener said “If you didn’t know he was going to die, would you still marry him?”
My answer would be yes, no doubt about it!! Even if I knew he had a very short time, we are in love and you never know what the future holds. Maybe he’d have longer than a year, maybe a breakthrough treatment might come through, etc. etc.
I hope the girl finds happiness in her heart and makes the right decision for her and her boyfriend.
So what are your thoughts on this, Bees?
Post # 3
Ugh, can’t even think about it. It’s the invincibility of youth. You NEVER EVER think that something bad is going to happen to your SO.
Post # 4
Yes, I totally would. You have to live for the moment. We could all die on Monday, does that mean that nobody will get married this weekend? Not at all! I would go for it.
Post # 5
Yes. I’d want him to be happy. Unless I hadn’t been planning to marry him all along – but after 3 years I wanted to marry FI (it would have been unfair to be together without such an expectation at that point).
Post # 6
what a sad story.
i would say YES YES YES, i would cherish the rest of the time we had together, and try everything to make him as happy as possible.
Post # 7
This is my situation (not cancer though – a different terminal illness). We are getting married October 30th and I can’t wait. We’ll cross that medical bridge when we get there and we’ll lay out all the options. We’re living for now – not what will/could happen in the future because we honestly don’t know what advances could happen in the next few years and we don’t know what will go on with transplant lists either.
My point is, I’ve found the man I’m meant to be with and regardless of how long we have together, I’d rather have a year or two with him and be widowed in my twenties, than have never known him.
Post # 8
Yes I would, without a doubt.
Post # 9
im in that situation right now, id marry him in a heartbeat either way, i hope and pray he can pull through this and prove everyone wrong like he did before and we get our forever togther<3
Post # 10
I would marry him. Absolutely.
Post # 11
I would probably want to marry him sooner! I would cherish everyday and help him meet all his life goals!
Post # 12
I would…if I knew I wanted to marry him.
I think if they were BF and girlfriend but she didn’t really see them getting married ever – then it’s not fair to him for her to accept just because he’s terminal.
I think that caller made a good point about “Would you marry him regardless of the fact that he has a year to live?” Otherwise it’s all just an illusion.
Post # 13
@misspandy: and @shaydenise:
I’m so sorry you are in this situation. I admire your strength to carry forward and wish you all the best!!
Post # 14
A very good friend was diagnosed with cancer – he never smoked and was very healthy up to that point. He and his then GF got engaged and planned for the future like it was going to last forever – that was the only way they saw for them. I was blessed to be able to go to their wedding ceremony last summer. It was on a Sunday. We were at his funeral the following weekend.
Life is fragile and precious – I think you have to follow your heart otherwise the regrets will consume you. If I were in that girl’s position I would joyfully marry the person I love…
Post # 15
Oh God, that’s a horrible thought. But yes, I would marry him if we were in that situation. Not for me though, for him. I love him dearly, if he were ill and wanted a wedding/marriage, then that is what I’d give him.
To the ladies going through this- I wish your loved ones well, and happiness to you all 🙂
Post # 16
I would marry him. If he were dying and I knew I loved him so much I would marry him either way.. I wouldn’t think twice. 🙂