If you knew your best friend's SO was lying/cheating, would you tell her?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@greenidlady:  I certainly would say something because I would want to be told! nobody likes to be a fool. Who lies about being in the military? 

 

Post # 4
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

Should be easy to prove… Don’t military members all have govt issued military IDs?

Post # 5
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I think you should have some legit proof before you go to her with anything. If you actually get hard proof that he is in fact cheating, I would tell her. 

Post # 7
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@greenidlady:  Absolutley!! are u going to tell her? 

Post # 11
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

School’s been cancelled for the day, but I’m going to go sit in the clasroom anyway and still learn.

Is it possible to look up a member of the Reserves… like, is that public information? I know other government jobs are public knowledge, I just have no experience with what’s available to look up for the military.

But you don’t know that he’s cheating, just that he may have lied about being in the reserves.
Let’s say he is lying – do you have any proof that he could be cheating when he goes away? :/
You never know… he could be getting botox injections or something! (seriously!)

I think I’d want to tell my friend, but only if I had solid proof (photos, emails, screencaps) so I didn’t assume (because you know what they say about people who assume….)

Post # 12
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@greenidlady:  No. I don’t get involved in other people’s drama. I won’t be the messenger who gets shot. 

Post # 13
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@greenidlady:  Eick, I came here thinking I was gunna shout to the heavens YES. But, you don’t have any proof. So he didn’t go to a drill when he said he did, so what? How do you know he didn’t use the weekend to go hang out wih his boys without guilt, or he just wanted some time away, or he went to do something she doesn’t particularly approve of? I wouldn’t automatically go to cheating, but then I also give people the benefit of the doubt.

I think you did the perfect thing by alerting her to the lie, let her deal with what she wants to take from that.

Post # 14
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@greenidlady:  Poor girl..it’s best she knows. 

Post # 15
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MrsPanda99:  HAH +1, its so incredibly apt. It will be you in the direct firing line if it turns out he wasnlt actually cheating. Or even if he was and she doesn’t believe it. :/

Post # 16
Member
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

“Friend, this drill thing has got me thinking, and [husband] tried to look up [BF] on the army site and could not find him listed. Now I am suspicious that he hasn’t been truthful, and feel obligated to point it out to you because I care, but I also recognize that it’s not my business and we don’t ever have to speak about it again if you say the word. If you have ever been suspicious, the easy way to tell is to check his mil ID – they’re required to have one. Love ya, ttys”

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