"If You Send Your Kid to Private School, You Are a Bad Person."

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Is it wrong to send children to private school?
    No way. The premise of this article is flawed/I disagree with the article : (162 votes)
    68 %
    It may be not-so-good for the population as a whole, but it's what's best for my child : (25 votes)
    11 %
    Yes! : (35 votes)
    15 %
    I don't have kids/I homeschool. : (15 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    5905 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @EffieTrinket:  …the only kid that I know who goes to private school gets the crap kicked out of him by the other kids and all the parents hate each other….so I’m not sure if they’re bad people, but it doesn’t seem like a better environment the public school for the money.

    Post # 4
    10384 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010


    You know what, the public schools in the San Fran area are a freaking cluster$%ck disaster. If we can afford it, we will totally send our (future) kid to private school.

    If i’m paying property taxes to public schools AND paying separately for a private school, i’m not sure I buy the argument that we’re not investing in the public schools. And, if the only kids left in public school are the ones who aren’t graduating/underperform/have horrible discipline issues (seriously, look up the Oakland/Emeryville/Richmond school stats) i’m not going to be the one to stick my kid in the fire with them when I have other options.

    It’s cheaper for us to do private school than it is to pay $250,000-500,000 more for a home in Berkeley/Albany to attend better schools.

    Where I grew up (Texas) the public schools were pretty good, and private school would have been a waste of money. Not so where we live now, though. Apples and oranges.

    Post # 5
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Me, my fiance’, and all our siblings went to private school. We loved it! Seriously best experiene we could have asked for. Got to share our religion and the academics were 10x better than at the public schools, plus we had less of the trouble kids the public schools had to deal with. It was just so much cleaner and nicer people. We will 100% be sending all our children to private schools.

    Post # 6
    2081 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @EffieTrinket:  My parents sent my brother and sister and I to a private co-ed boarding school for grades 10, 11 and 12. I absolutely loved it. All three of us excelled and met so many people from other parts of the world and had so many experiences we never would have had otherwise. I will always, always look back on that time very fondly. Some of the best years of my life.




    Post # 7
    1343 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Disclaimer: I’m not a parent yet. 


    I just feel like it depends on where you live. I have put a lot of thought into where we are going to buy a house and settle down. If the school district has a great public school system, then sure! I would definitely send them there. If I felt like there were not any adequate school systems near the area, I would definitely look into private schools if I had the money to do so. Especially if my child seemed to be doing well in one subject. Example, math, music, etc. 

    My personal story. I went to a public high school and took all AP/Honors classes, yet I don’t really feel like I received as good of an education that other public schools in surrounding areas did. Also, while I was in a really good music program, there seemed to constantly be physical fights and lots of drama, sex, parties, and drugs going around. (not to say that private schools dont have these things) My FH went to an all-boys catholic school and got an amazing math and science education and never had drama issues. He also seemed to make longer lasting friendships there. So I’m quite torn between which one is actually better. I think it depends on the student and the actual school. 

    Post # 8
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would never send my children to private schools, but I try not to judge those who do. I think that the writer of the article brings up a good point about improving public school education, but I would hardly say that EVERY person that sends their kids to private school is a bad person.

    Post # 9
    89 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    WTH? I got to experience both private and public school. Personally, I preferred public school, only because that’s where I started out and all of my friends were there. I ended up transferring back. That was 15-20 years ago, though, and I think that public schools have really taken a dive in quality. Personally, I’m fully prepared to homeschool my future children. 🙂

    Post # 10
    1355 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

    I went to private school from Kindergarten to 12th grade in a county where the public schools are on par with private schools, but my parents wanted to have me in smaller classes and able to take whatever class I wanted without worrying about there being too few people for the school to offer it (for example, one of my classmates wanted to take Latin IV and was the only one in the class, but then our neighbor, who went to public school, wasn’t able to take German III because only four people signed up for it and the school system couldn’t justify the cost of having the teacher teaching just those four students).

    I don’t think my parents were bad people for sending me to private school. I have social anxiety and don’t like people bumping into me, so the times I had to go to my younger sister’s public school and stand in the hallways between classes were some of the most horrifying moments in my life because there were just too many people. I don’t think I could have made it through public school without losing it. My school was also popular with kids who had been made fun of for being smart in middle school, so it was a refuge for them.

    My parents still paid the taxes to support the public schools, so I think calling them bad people is kind of a shitty thing to do. I’d love to send our future kids to private school, but my fiance thinks that kids need to be exposed to a bunch of people because he believes that school isn’t for being taught but rather for learning to socialize. If we end up having children with crippling social anxiety like me, however, I will petition him to send the kid to a smaller private school so that (s)he is comfortable.

    Post # 11
    3128 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    I went to a private school from K-8 grade then went to a public high school. I wish I had continued with my private education (I was registered at a private school and at the last minute decided to switch to a public school) although then I would have never met my best friend. I lived in the city when I was growing up and now DH and I live in the subarbs so now I’m not sure what we will do.

    Post # 12
    10384 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I mean, I understand the author’s point that we all have to be invested in the system for the system to work, but he goes about explaining it in the most insulting way possible. And the whole premise of “you aren’t paying into the system if your kid is in private school” is BS, because you pay through your property taxes AND private school  tuition. So the school systems still get the $$.

    Post # 13
    1888 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’m not having kids so I don’t have a ‘horse in the race’ (pardon any implications brought on by the phrase), but I went to both public and private schools growing up.  I think the most important thing is that there are a number of factors to consider and no one’s situation is the same.  I did public school in elementary school, but at that point the district was going to force me to skip a grade.  At that point (and beacuse the public school was growing more violent) I went to private schools after that.  

    Post # 14
    917 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    There are some legitimate reasons to send your child to private schools, and they all have to do with the quality of the public schools in your area. My own parents chose to move to a new town because they saw their options as move or put me into private school when I started kindergarden because the local district was bad (low graduation rate, crime, drugs, etc.). For them, it was a better investment to simply move to a nearby, excellent school district.

    I ended up going to great public schools and was provided an education that allowed me to hold my own against privately educated classmates in college. If possible, I would like my children to go public, but I certainly don’t judge folks who choose private. 

    Post # 15
    8387 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    No kids (ever), but I think it depends on the school

    Post # 16
    11469 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I attended private school from 1st-3rd grade and then again 7th-12th and went to a private college. I am absolutely beyond grateful for the opportunities that were presented to me because of private school and the incredibly thorough education I obtained. I am most thankful for the sacrifice my grandparents made to ensure that I recieved the absolute best education possible as clearly the public schools simply were not cutting it.

    Where I live there is a single school district that is equal to a private school education. I have been very clear with my DH that either we purchase a house and raise our child within that particular school district or we pay for private schooling. He completely agrees and understands.

    I won’t jump on my soap box about private school but I will say that it is better without a doubt IF you choose a well rounded school with proper accreditation and ties to the community. I am not talking about those itty bitty church schools without a sports/music/PE/missionary/club program where the child can become immersed in more than just basic education.

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