(Closed) if you started planning before getting engaged, how did you break the news?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
6598 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

We noticed that everything was booking up (location wise) and such and we really wanted Aug 2010 but FI still wanted to propose on his time frame so we went about planning like we were engaged and because it was very obvious that we were going to get married (we own a house together for 2 years now) no one was really surprised or thought it was weird! Really the proposal was just a formality!

So we told everyone and then involved them in the picking of the date and choosing the locations!

So it wasn’t anything too formal – he told his family and I told mine and we pretty much just said so we have chosen Aug 2010 to get married and we went from there!

So first you have to get your FI on board and then just tell them! Just remember that an engagement does not = a ring!!!! An engagement is the promise to marry!

Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Tell your BF what you just told us! “I’m not trying to start planning too much before we’re actually engaged, but I do think it’ll be important to your family to be able to to attend, and they’ve been talking about their next trip already. Since it looks like we’ll be getting married in Jan/Feb, maybe you could mention to them not to take their next trip then. Afterall, we’ve already had to move away from September, like we had sort of talked about, because of the WDW trip. It’d be a shame to just keep pushing it back forever!”

Good luck! Hopefully your bf will take it ok, since it’s just blocking out a few months, not actually setting a date. Sounds like you two have already discussed some timing, so I would imagine he’ll be open to it. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

This is a tough one.  My parents travel excessively – if we hadn’t gotten engaged 18 months in advance, I think they would have already booked a trip for the time frame when we are getting married.  (Two weeks after we got engaged, my dad called and asked if they could book a trip to South Africa for Sept/Oct 2010.) 

I think he needs to tell them.  (If you do, there is a chance they won’t take you seriously.)  He can tell them to keep the time frame open without “setting a date” and without formally proposing.  He should simply sit them down and say, “hey, listen, Mom and Dad, try to keep early 2011 travel-free.  You might have a wedding to go to.” I think you need to make it clear to him that this is important to you and that if you don’t tell them, his parents will plan a trip and then he will be disappointed when that happens.  You may have to resign yourself to the fact that he may be stubborn about this, and he will learn the hard way that you were right. (Unless you propose to him…)

FYI, people who travel excessively/extensively do not take kindly to being told NOT to travel around your wedding.  My father’s gCal currently says “wedding travel embargo” in September/October of next year and before my sister’s wedding he constantly said, “the bridezilla told me not to travel.” 

Post # 6
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would tell him to handle it and you stay out of it.  He should sit with them and say that he plans on proposing and you both have mentioned that you may like a wedding in January or February.  They will definitely keep those months open and you don’t have to be involved.

Post # 7
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My BF and I have already told our parents when we are getting married but no one else.  We even have a location booked for the reception.  I didn’t want to wait and then not get the location for the time period that we wanted.  We still aren’t offically engaged.  We will got ring shopping in a couple of weeks.  My mom is coming this weekend and me, mom and FMIL are going dress shopping.  I look forward to telling everyone that we are getting married but it will probably be another month before that happens.  Good luck just tell your BF what you are thinking that is what I did and it worked out great.

Post # 8
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2010

You should definitely just talk to your BF and ask him to talk to his parents!  They can keep a secret right?  And it’s better than having drama or issues with a booked trip when you guys set the date.  Communication is oh-so-very helpful  🙂

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