Post # 1
…would you rather get a gift, have the bride pay for something relating to the wedding day (ie hair, makeup, hotel) or have some sort of event before or after the wedding that the b&g pay for (like a camping weekend or amusement park trip)??
ive never been one so i dont know what i’d rather get. i sort of lean toward hotel room or hair, but then wouldnt you feel obligated to get a gift too? i really cant spend more than $100 per bm & that is definitely STRETCHING it.
Post # 3
I’d vote for hotel room or hair and a sweet, personal note on the day of the wedding.
Post # 4
I would go for the event…sounds like a good way to bond with all of the girls before the wedding.
Post # 5
Well, my MOH insisted that bridesmaids pay for their own dresses (I was clueless and didn’t know) and I think this kind of extends to hair and makeup too. I think if you could afford it, it would awesome to treat your girls to a spa day kind of thing, but if you can’t, no big deal. (I personally cannot afford this and wish I could.) If I were a bridesmaid, I would kind of expect to pay that myself anyway. I would rather have either a gift or the event thing. The gift would be nice just as a token or memento of the wedding and your friendship. Along those lines, especially with something like a camping trip, the time spent togehter might be really meaningful. I don’t know how close you all are, but your BMs might appreciate just spending some quality time with you and appreciate being treated to a little outing or something. The camping thing actually sounds really nice. My FI is going camping with his best man for their "bachelor party" and I imagine it will be a really nice, meaningful experience for both of them. Spending time with your close friends might mean more to them than the cost of hair and makeup or even a nice, long-lasting gift.
Hope that helps.
Post # 6
haha Shanorama, you just said in like 2 lines what it took me a whole book to write No, I don’t talk too much, why do you ask?
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
I’d personally prefer the paid hotel room or the paid dress, etc, but I can understand how as a bride it would be wierd not to give some kind of "physical gift" or party for your bridal party. I think youre right in feeling strange about not getting them something in addition, which is why you might as well go for the party or gift. The only problem with the after wedding party idea is it is always difficult to get everyone in the same place for a day/weekend (unless your bridal party is all local, in which case, go for it!)
Post # 8
As a bridesmaid, I expect to pay for the dress and hair, hotel, etc. when I commit to being one. I would rather get a spa treatment or a nice gift. Although, you are helping with expenses by paying for the dress, it’s not something memorable.
Post # 9
I was originally going to pay for the hotel room & hair and mentioned it to my MOH and she said that she would rather have meaningful gifts than me cover the expenses she agreed to when she agreed to be my MOH (her words, not mine) and I was suprised…but I’d rather giver her what she really wants – not what I think she wants, have you thought about asking your BM’s to see what they might prefer? A trip/outing sounds really fun too, all the BM’s could get to bond before the wedding if they aren’t familiar with one another!
Post # 10
I’d rather a gift b/c I expect to buy the dress and pay for my own hair. I was a bridesmaid in a wedding and we each received a gift card to our favorite store, which she gave us over pedicures at a spa (that she treated us to). It was really great.
Post # 11
i would say spend money on something related to the wedding day (dress/hair/makeup/hotel, etc). b/c let’s be honest, most of the bridesmaid gifts are useless….
Post # 12
The last time I was a BM, I got a beautiful pearl necklace and pearl earrings as my gift. I thought it was a very thoughtful gift and I wear the jewlery all the time even though I probably would have never bought it for myself because I have issues with buying things like that for myself. If you have an idea for a meaningful gift that your BMs would really love even if they wouldn’t buy it for themselves, I say go for the gift!
Post # 13
I personally would prefer a gift that helps offset what it costs me to be in the wedding. I am getting my two maids slippers to walk around in before the wedding, their jewelry (they picked out inexpensive earrings and a necklace), and I am going to print them off a gift certificate of my own deisgn for either their hair or make-up (I haven’t decided which). This will be presented with a letterpress card from Tallu-Lah in a really pretty box from Michael’s tied up with a satin ribbon and a silk flower.
Post # 14
Wow, opinions are all over the place! The best BM gifts I ever had were hair/makeup/spa type things – generally the bride would take us to breakfast the morning of the wedding and then we would go to a nice salon and have the choice of hair/makeup or mani/pedi or another spa treatment. I usually pick mani/pedi as that lasts longer than just the day. If you’re expecting your BMs to have their makeup and hair done (not giving them the option of doing it themselves) you should definately pay.
I have also been given jewelry, and that’s great if it’s your style. I’m allergic to sterling silver, and so I have given away every pair of earrings I received as a BM gift – just can’t wear them. And I have five (5 – count them – 5) pearl necklaces. Got my first one for graduation, inherited another from my grandmother, got three as BM gifts. I should start regifting them too.
Something that lets you all spend time together is a good gift, if you have the time to do it (and assuming they do to). But I think that’s why I like the breakfast/salon day-of gift, as it lets you get some pampering and some time together all in one shot, on a day you were going to devote to the bride anyway.
Post # 15
All of these ideas sound great! But, I have another question. Is it okay to treat my matron and maid of honor to something different than my regular bm’s? I’m getting my bm’s pearl earrings but the other 2 already have them and I would like to do something extra special for them since they’re my sisters. Would a spa day before the wedding (like a couple of weeks before) be appropriate? I also was going to put together a "day of" care package for them so I would have something physical to give them. What do you guys think????
Post # 16
I had my girls pay for their own dresses, but I covered their hotel stay, hair and makeup the day of and I’m working on putting pictures into a collage frame for each of them to have as a memory of the wedding….