(Closed) If you were going to adopt, what would you do?

posted 5 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: If you were going to adopt, what would you do?
    Adopt an infant from another country. : (15 votes)
    23 %
    Adopt an infant from within my country, a la Juno. : (23 votes)
    35 %
    Adopt a child in the foster care system. : (25 votes)
    38 %
    Other. : (2 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8464 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’d probably adopt an older/waiting child from China.  That way my mom, grandma and other relatives would be able to communicate with that child.

    Post # 5
    Member
    9552 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    It’s hard to say until you’re actually in that position, but I love the idea of adopting an older child through the foster care system.

    Post # 6
    Hostess
    8580 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Adopt a child in the foster care system.

    Me & FI have agreed to try to have our own children, but honestly, I’m scared to death. I’ve had 1 premature birth and I’d rather not go through that experiance again. The DR’s checked me out of course, and said I was fine, but I have PCOS and I feel like that had something to do with it.

    That being said, we have also agreed that if, for some reason we cannot, or just find it too risky to try to have our own children, we will be adopting. [This is the mose likely option]. We both agree that’d we like to adopt children from the foster care system, mainly because I personally know how the system works, and it’s not fun. Of course, we’d like a baby just like any couple, but we’d be happy with a child of around 3 or 4. Later, when the child gets older, we’d like to adopt another around the ages of 11 or 12. [Foster care kids have a VERY small chance of being adopted out after age 8, because most people want younger kids].

    That being said, 50% of foster kids are usually placed back with their birth families, which can be heartbreaking.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’d opt for either a child from another country, or an child from the foster care system. I work with a lot of child protection children, and a lot of them get pushed into resi care (which almost inevitably leads to drugs, sex, etc.) because there is such a lack of foster carers. I’ve met some amazing kids that I would love to take home with me, but they can’t go into foster care, simply because there aren’t any carers available.

    Post # 9
    Hostess
    8580 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @peachacid:  Yes, but foster children start out as.. just that. You are foster parenting a child.

    50% of those children are placed with their back with their birth parents.

    I only mention this because that means you could have to house more than just 1 child before being able to adopt one.

    Post # 11
    Member
    4372 posts
    Honey bee

    I would think I would adopt an older child from the foster system. I’m not a fan of the baby stage, and there are so many older kids in need of families.

    Post # 12
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Even IF you do legally adopt a child, birth parents still have an astonishingly high amount of rights.

     

    My cousin just lost the child she adopted….she had her from birth – 6 years.  The deadbeat teen mom gave her up for adoption, then decided to sue for custody.  And won!

     

    That’s just one horror story, there are many more happy endings though.

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    8580 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    On another note, many foster care children might not ever find homes because they have ALOT of medical problems.

    I was looking at a foster care website for the US, and there were so many children with birth defects from poor nourishment/drugs/whatever the case may be. It was so heartbreaking. I can’t stand to think about what happens to those children.

     

    Post # 14
    Member
    3626 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m selfish so I would rather adopt from another country than from here in the US or the foster system. I’m glad that they try their best to make it work with the birth parents but I can’t deal with the worry of losing “my” child until they become adults. Granted, you have no idea how the birth parents in other countries handled prenatal care, but at least you know this child is yours and they’re highly unlikely to come after you for custody in three years.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2082 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @peachacid:  If I were to adopt I’d like to adopt a healthy infant from any country, including the US.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2363 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013 - B&B

    I voted other because I would want to adopt an infant, but I also feel for the kids in the foster system, and I might consider an older child who needs a home!

    The topic ‘If you were going to adopt, what would you do?’ is closed to new replies.

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