If you were in my position, what would you do?

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: If you were in my position, what would you do?
    Start TTC in December : (17 votes)
    31 %
    Wait another year and reevaluate then : (37 votes)
    69 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2517 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    juliette.eliza:  Why don’ t you work part time? You might not enjoy being a SAHM once it actually happens.

    Or just save like crazy and wait a year or two. You are young, and anticipate no fertility issues so if you still want to travel and such just wait!           

    Post # 3
    Member
    38 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    If you got pregnant today, you would have 9 months before the baby arrives to continue working and saving money. If you want to take a tropical vacation this year, take one. Who knows, maybe you could conceive on vacation? Once you have little kids, vacationing from AK will be more complicated and expensive, but not impossible. If you were able to put some money aside, you might be able to go every few years rather than every year. 

    If you are a person who regrets her choices, you will never be short of regrets. As a parent (or non-parent), you will have numerous chances to second guess yourself, and will never run low on criticism from others. You can put this choice off for another year, and still have vacations you want to take, and still worry about your fertility, and still be uncertain about your decisions. 

    The only question is, would you and your husband like to be raising a newborn next year, or not?

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    194 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    all i have to say is good luck trying to plan a date! i tried that with my son..we wanted a winter baby also…well his birthday is in July; if that tells you anything! we tried for over a year and a half to get pregnant!! with my first son i got pregnant the first month i was off my pill. so this time when we were actually trying it didnt happen anyway like we tried!

    p.s. i am limited to 8 months to decide whether or not; so i got my own thinking to do!!  🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    612 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    Why do you NEED to be done at 30 and not 31 or 32?  When I was your age (not all that long ago) I said “If I don’t have children by the time I’m 30 – well, I’m not going to have them”.  Now, at 29, I know I won’t be married until shortly before I’m 30 and am not totally sold on starting a family right away.  “30” now isn’t what it was 50 years ago.  You have plenty of time – I’m all for you enjoying the time you have now and letting the pieces fall where they may.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    juliette.eliza:  i would caution that you cant plan kids that precisely.  I wanted to be done before 30. Very doubtful at this point since i am 28 and still TTC number 1. There are no fertility issues in my family, and yet i have been off BC for a year and am still trying. You are still young and being done by 31 or 32 wont really make a difference other than you will have another bunch of fun trips under your belt.

    Post # 9
    Member
    7281 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Only you know whether or not you are ready to trade frequent travel fopr diapers. Speaking as an “older” Mom, waiting isn’t a bad thing. 🙂

    Post # 10
    Member
    1521 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Disneyland - January 2016

    I’m sorry I don’t have much advice, but I have to wonder, why do you need a sitter if you bring your children along on vacations? That’s a lot of money to pay for a third adult, especially when you can just watch your kids yourself for free.

    Post # 12
    Member
    119 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’m in a really similar situation- also close to TTC and also take lots of trips for the sole purpose of diving, which you’re not supposed to do at all while pregnant, and is definitely hard with kids. It’s always a tradeoff, and you’ve pointed out all the pros and cons to both sides. 

    I feel like a lot depends on how much you’ve already traveled. Have you been scuba diving for ten years and gone all sorts of places? Or did you just get certified and are dying to take a trip to put your skills to use? Would you be going somewhere that’s a “once in a lifetime” opportunity, or going back somewhere you’ve already been? 

    DH and I have traveled a ton the past five years, and I finally feel like I’ve checked enough places off my bucketlist that I won’t regret it if we have a kid now and don’t travel as much for a few years. But if I hadn’t done all those trips, I might still be ansty to do another trip before TTC. 

    As PP have said, no one can really answer it for you. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    8025 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    You can wait but you can’t un-wait. So wait!

    Post # 14
    Member
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee

    juliette.eliza:  Well, I have a friend who put off TTC because she and her hubby wanted more time together before starting a family. And now she can’t get pregnant. They have spent tens of thousands on fertility treatments, and nothing. 

    If you absolutely know you want a baby, I would go for it and not risk losing time due to unforeseen complications. Nobody ever thinks it will happen to them. But I can tell you my friend is very, very sorry that she and her DH didn’t get started sooner.

    Post # 15
    Member
    408 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    juliette.eliza:  We are in a similar boat. 

    We decided to go ahead and TTC. Why? For us, now was the ideal time. We have both traveled A LOT in our lives and feel satisfied with that. We have our money saved, our educations are good, our jobs are in place, our life is semi-settled, kind of. We are ready for the next phase. I’m sure it seems early/young to some but we were ready. I ended up getting pregnant on our 2nd month trying and am scared senseless but feel like we made the right decision.

    My advice is if you feel like you want to have a kid and that feeling doesn’t go away and you are willing to sacrifice your SCUBA trips, I’d say have the kid. If you think, “No! I can’t sacrifice SCUBA!” then I’d say wait a bit. Scuba like crazy for the next few years then have your baby. (But, if you do decide to have the baby and continue traveling etc. it’s definitely not impossible. We plan to travel with our babe). Anyway, most difficult decision ever. Good luck!

    Edited to trim some of the fat from this book 🙂

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