Post # 1
I was in a wedding last year and frankly we were not friends very long before I was in the wedding. I felt like I helped out alot with the weding and got no thank you not even a verbal thanks. My wedding is smaller than hers was and I’m not able to have her in my bridal party. Even if I could I dont think I would. I feel like you are supposed to pick peolpe close to you but also have people you know will be there to help and support you and this is definetly not her.
Do you or have you felt obligated to have someone in your bridal party because you were in theres?
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
NO!!! 🙂 Your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest.
Post # 6
I don’t think so, everyone’s wedding and wedding party “needs” are different.
Post # 7
No, not at all. I was in my best friend’s wedding and I didn’t ask her to be in mine. Nothing bad I just had my sister in the wedding and no other BMs. I didn’t feel obligated to add her and I don’t believe she took offense.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Absolutely not. Each person chooses their attendants based on the people they are closest to at that particular time in their life. there is ZERO obligation to choose any person based on the past.
Post # 9
I could have written this post.
I stepped in as a bridesmaid at the last minute for a friend, and made and gifted her $200 worth of her flowers for the day. Although I did receive a verbal thank you the day of, I didn’t receive a written thank you. I was SO put off by it and genuinely felt that she got close with me the months leading up to her wedding strictly because I was the only person in her wedding party that actually paid her any attention (ei. Went to dress fittings, shopping, etc.) and was the person she was going through to make her wedding flowers. After the wedding was over, our friendship completely fizzled.
Don’t feel like you need to ask her to be in your wedding party if you don’t want her in it. It’s your day, you choose who you want to be there out of love, not obligation. 😉
Post # 10
No – but it’s definately awkward. We have been invited to a couple of weddings on FIs side, they are family friends but don’t see them very often (in fact I have met them ONCE) they invited us to theirs – now were obliged to have invite all 5 of them (they have children)
Oh well, only a day eh?
Post # 11
@LindsayMaree: Wow, you gifted her flowers, were in the wedding, and she didn’t even write you a thank you card?? Unreal. My bff has kindly offered to do the flowers as her gift to us (she is also a bridesmaid) and I’m so happy I’m trying to figure out what ‘extra’ I can give her in thanks!
Post # 12
No! Can you imagine that awful cycle if everyone had to reciprocate to everyone who was in their wedding. It would be maddness!
Post # 13
@LindsayMaree: Isnt it terrible to get no thank you!! But at least you got a verbal one I didnt even get that! And to top it off she said she cant come to my engagment party cause it’s “too far”. I was so annoyed since I travelled to her house numerous amount of times to help her with her wedding stuff!!
Post # 14
I agree no but if you ask a friend of mine (well she is more of a distant friend now) if should be in each other weddings she would say yes. She got pissed cause I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in hers but I didn’t ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man in mine.
Post # 16
One of my bridesmaids (close friend since 5th grade) is getting married in a few weeks. I have only one sister (he has two but I’m not close with them) so having a larger bridal party was important to me (I included cousins, childhood friends). My friend has a sister, two sisters-in-law and tons of women that she is close to. To her, having a larger bridal party was not important. She knew that if she started including then she’d have to include everyone. So she chose the three girls that she’s in a band with that she’s been friends with since kindergarten. I know there are other girls she’s close friends with (some that she met while abroad) and people have even asked me when I’m getting my dress (eek) but I totally understand her decision and my feelings were not hurt. She actually explained all this to me a few weeks ago, brought it up totally on her own and I wasn’t expecting it. I was like girl, please I already knew all that!
I did get a fabulous long black dress from Rent the Runway for ^^.