- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I don’t even know where to start. I just know that I just addressed 35 save the dates and I feel a sense of stress and dread that I just can’t shake.
Fiance and I have been engaged since August. I initially suggested a small (ie immediate family, close friends) elopement type wedding. While he doesn’t want a huge wedding, he still wanted a traditional one where his aunts, uncles etc could go. We decided on a destination wedding because we are both from NJ and didn’t want a wedding in the NJ/NY/PA area and we are currently long distance (NJ to GA). We decided on Charleston, SC as it is a place we both love and where we took our first couples vacation. A few months after getting engaged we set our date and booked our venue with a 1k deposit. Besides save the dates and my dress we haven’t made any great investments. We have picked out (but not put a deposit on) a photographer and dj. I have planned the style etc, and started deciding on decoration ideas. I can see myself getting married and having my reception at this place now. Fast forward to the last two months where I found out that I got accepted into a PhD program (yay!). It’s great news but it means that we will be moving across the country shortly (1-2 months) before the wedding. It also means that I will have the income of a PhD student for the next four years.
Fiance has softened on the idea of an elopement type wedding because he sees how stressed I am, but now I’m the one that’s torn. I see myself getting married at our venue now. Although our guestlist is small (under 50 people) I am still stressed by it. I wonder why we are spending all of this money for a party. We both have a few close friends, and I have a few more friends that I am inviting as well. I keep worrying about everyone’s travel expenses even though i know that it shouldn’t be my worry. And the expenses overall. His parents have generously offered to pay for the food and beverage costs for the wedding which means that our main costs are the photgrapher, dj, travel to and from the wedding, and our hotel.
If we were to decide to elope now we would only lose that 1k, which while a lot isn’t a ton in the grand scheme of things. I finished addressing the save the dates and feel squarely in between wanting to go ahead and wanting to just elope. Any advice? Anyone been in a similar situation?