If you were my BM would you rather…

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What should I do for my BMs
    Get the gift : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Pay for the hair and hotel : (73 votes)
    83 %
    pay for the hair and a cheaper gift : (14 votes)
    16 %
    I have a totally different suggestion : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    6457 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would prefer to have costs offset! Perhaps you can do that and write them each a note?

    Post # 4
    839 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I’d love if a bride paid for my hotel and hair! Sure, a kate spade wristlet is fun, but I’d much rather not have to fork over more cash. 

    Post # 6
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    I actually helped them offset the costs in a way. Before we went dress shopping I gave them a personalized VISA gift card as their big gift. The card had a photo on it of me and each girl. It was from giftcards.com. The idea behind it was that they could put it towards the dress if they wanted. My bff bought a few shirts I think and my sister is going to use it for her hair. (optional).  

    I will give them a few small things to open on the day of. I was each of their MOH’s and I loved the gifts they gave me. I really like gifts though. I knew my bff hates getting certain things that she doesn’t want and my sister could use financial help.

    Post # 7
    6812 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Do the hair and hotel and get them something very small as their gift, like a cheap necklace from etsy or something just as a token. I think they will understand and be more appreciative that you’re offsetting their costs.

    OR do the hair and a slightly more expensive gift, since they would have been paying for flight/hotel to come to your wedding anyway, which they wouldn’t have missed.

    Post # 9
    753 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think you should use it to offset the costs. I was in the same position with my bridesmaids. I could not afford to do both. I asked them, and they said they would rather me offset the costs. They only had to pay for their dress and $50 per night at a condo. 

    Post # 10
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    I think given that there is a lot of costs with your wedding I’d prefer to have something paid for!

    Why don’t you maybe pay ahead of time or something so they they can’t fight you on paying 🙂 and then a nice heartfelt note or something to give them the day of. I’m making picture collages for each of my BM- low on cost, but high on meaning 🙂

    Post # 11
    1425 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’ve been a bridesmaid twice and didn’t care if I got a gift. Having the bride offset the costs would be a huge help!

    Post # 12
    5259 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @MsGinkgo:  I would rather you offset some of the costs. I paid for all my bridesmaid dresses since I was having a destination wedding and they had to pay to come to that. I got each of them a personalized card made by this amazing girl on Etsy that also did my invites. It was a nice token to show my thanks and they all appreciated it 🙂

    Post # 14
    1258 posts
    Bumble bee

    Offset the costs of the hotel and the hair. If I was a bridesmaid, I would love if the bride was able to do that. A gift is wonderful, but sometimes costs add up and I think it would be the more generous gift, you know? I would also write each lady a really heartfelt card and give it to them the night before or morning of the wedding. 

    Post # 15
    182 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @Bubbles42:  I LOVE the personal gift card idea!

    Post # 16
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I would prefer to have costs offset!

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