Post # 1
I’m having a little bit of a problem with the decision of having my friend take photos at our wedding. We haven’t said yes yet or made a final decision but we are seriously considering her as it will be cheaper than getting a pro do it. She has beautiful pictures and when we meet on Wednesday I’ll be asking all kinds of questions regarding what all she is including in the price.
But, here’s my question. Would it be rude of me to write up a somewhat informal contract where we just write what we agreed upon for the wedding and sign it? And what about feeding her? Do we treat her like a normal vendor and not feed her at all so she can capture every single moment possible. I know I will be making a MUST SHOOT list so that the pictures I really really want taken will be taken (for her or the pro) but I’m not a very confrontational person so I’m scared to death the contract thing or not feeding her will seem bitchy. We aren’t that close, she’s an ex-coworker of my FI, but I would be sad if I hurt her feelings.
Maybe I just don’t know what I’m doing.
ETA: I wasn’t sure if the vendors get fed or not. I’m sorry if that sounded really snarky. She offered to take the pictures on the big day after she found out how much we would be paying our pro
Post # 3
Is she a friend that would be invited to the wedding as a guest?
Or is she more of an aquaintance.
If she is a friend that you would invite don’t have her shoot, if it and aquaintance then yes, you should def have contract and treat her like a vendor.
Post # 4
Even if she was a pro, you would still feed her. Most caterers have “vendor plates” that is a different meal than everyone else is eating. You don’t want a hungry crabby friend trying to take your photos.
If you are paying her then you should write up a contract. You shouldn’t expect the same things as a pro, but you can give her a list of shots. Know what you are getting into and set your expectations from that.
Post # 5
@Atalanta:She is more of an aquaintance but her FI was pretty good friends with my FI when they worked together. That’s why I’m having a hard time deciding.
Post # 6
I would definitely say you should feed her.
It’s definitely not bitchy to want some sort of contract, even if she is a friend.
Post # 7
The only thing bitchy would be not to feed her! Ack!
If you want someone to capture every single moment professionally, hire a professional that includes a second shooter so there’s coverage even when taking a break for dinner.
Post # 8
I think signing a contract is reasonable. And I don’t think its bitchy. However, you definitely have to feed her. You usually feed photographers, DJ’s, etc.
Post # 9
@SweetRose2011: Is her FI invited?
Post # 10
You should feed her like any other vendor.
From experience, if you hire any friend as a vendor, get a contract with them. I did not and my friend was jerking me around the week of my wedding. Talk about stressful.
Post # 11
@SweetRose2011: Regardless, friend or not, I would absolutely have a contract. I’ve definitely heard horror stories of friends not doing exactly what they should have done and you would get screwed because of it.. she should understand the formality of it if she’s a professional. It sounds like you two aren’t that great of friends to begin with since you’re calling her the ex-coworker of your FI. Just tell her that you know and trust her but would like to sign a contract for both your benefit and for hers. After all, it’s in her best interest to have it in writing too.
However, I agree with the above poster that if she would have been invited to the wedding, she shouldn’t shoot the wedding. But I’ve always heard that it’s a courtesy to include your vendors in the food count, but I don’t think that’s a set rule.
Post # 13
you would need to feed her, regardless of if she’s a vendor. most photographers are there for 5-8 hours, and they’re gonna need a break. you don’t need to seat them at a guest table, but you do need to have a plate for them to scarf down.
ETA: you said she’s bringing her fiance? as in they are invited guests? if so, then yeah – just seat them together. an informal contract should be no problem, just talk about the stuff, and write it down as you go along and then just have you both sign it, or you can casually tell her at the end of your meeting that you’ll draft up a contract from what you guys discussed and send it over.
Post # 14
In that case I’d say no, go with someone else, becasue you want your moments to be captured and not have your photographer get cought up socializing instead, which is easy to happen when you meet old friends of FI is introducing her to people.
I think you may end up being pissed at her and its prob not worth it.
Post # 15
@RingAroundtheRosie: We aren’t the best of friends, no. I like her a lot and was very very excited when she got engaged so one the one hand it’s not like we are bff but on the other it’s not like I’ve not ever talked to her or hung out with her. I told my FI that I don’t want her to spend the whole wedding feeling like she’s only there to take photos. But she is the one who offered to take them the day off so we thought we would sit down and consider it.
Post # 16
you arent being bitchy. I would offer her dinner when she’s finished taking your photos. As long as you have a list of the things you want photos of, you should be fine. A contract is a good way to go. It shouldn’t be offensive to her…it’s just professsional. 🙂