(Closed) If you were my friend, does this seem bitchy?

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@SweetRose2011:

Is she a friend that would be invited to the wedding as a guest?

Or is she more of an aquaintance.

If she is a friend that you would invite don’t have her shoot, if it and aquaintance then yes, you should def have contract and treat her like a vendor.

Post # 4
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Even if she was a pro, you would still feed her. Most caterers have “vendor plates” that is a different meal than everyone else is eating. You don’t want a hungry crabby friend trying to take your photos.

If you are paying her then you should write up a contract. You shouldn’t expect the same things as a pro, but you can give her a list of shots. Know what you are getting into and set your expectations from that.

Post # 6
Member
5658 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I would definitely say you should feed her.

It’s definitely not bitchy to want some sort of contract, even if she is a friend.

Post # 7
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

The only thing bitchy would be not to feed her! Ack!

If you want someone to capture every single moment professionally, hire a professional that includes a second shooter so there’s coverage even when taking a break for dinner.

Post # 8
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think signing a contract is reasonable. And I don’t think its bitchy. However, you definitely have to feed her. You usually feed photographers, DJ’s, etc.

Post # 10
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

You should feed her like any other vendor.

From experience, if you hire any friend as a vendor, get a contract with them.  I did not and my friend was jerking me around the week of my wedding.  Talk about stressful. 

Post # 11
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SweetRose2011: Regardless, friend or not, I would absolutely have a contract.  I’ve definitely heard horror stories of friends not doing exactly what they should have done and you would get screwed because of it.. she should understand the formality of it if she’s a professional.  It sounds like you two aren’t that great of friends to begin with since you’re calling her the ex-coworker of your FI.  Just tell her that you know and trust her but would like to sign a contract for both your benefit and for hers.  After all, it’s in her best interest to have it in writing too.

However, I agree with the above poster that if she would have been invited to the wedding, she shouldn’t shoot the wedding.  But I’ve always heard that it’s a courtesy to include your vendors in the food count, but I don’t think that’s a set rule. 

Post # 13
Member
3167 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

you would need to feed her, regardless of if she’s a vendor. most photographers are there for 5-8 hours, and they’re gonna need a break. you don’t need to seat them at a guest table, but you do need to have a plate for them to scarf down.

ETA: you said she’s bringing her fiance? as in they are invited guests? if so, then yeah – just seat them together. an informal contract should be no problem, just talk about the stuff, and write it down as you go along and then just have you both sign it, or you can casually tell her at the end of your meeting that you’ll draft up a contract from what you guys discussed and send it over.

Post # 14
Member
4774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@SweetRose2011:

In that case I’d say no, go with someone else, becasue you want your moments to be captured and not have your photographer get cought up socializing instead, which is easy to happen when you meet old friends of FI is introducing her to people.

I think you may end up being pissed at her and its prob not worth it.

Post # 16
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

you arent being bitchy.  I would offer her dinner when she’s finished taking your photos.  As long as you have a list of the things you want photos of, you should be fine.  A contract is a good way to go.  It shouldn’t be offensive to her…it’s just professsional.  🙂

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