(Closed) If your MOH asked you…

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Melini: I would just say something along the lines of, “I would really like for you to at least come to the rehearsal so we can ensure everyone knows where they need to be on the day of the wedding. However, if you absolutely cannot reschedule your meeting I will understand. Just touch base with me/the wedding planner that night to ensure you know where you need to be on the wedding day.”

Post # 4
Member
426 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I understand more because it’s a work meeting, but is there any way to say that you PREFER that she reschedules it, but if she can’t, then you understand.  I think that’s polite enough!  I know why you would be disappointed, but it’s great that you recognize that not everyone may be as invested in the wedding as you are obviously!

Post # 5
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would ask her to change the work thing. She asked if she should (she probably knows she should too). I wouldn’t go crazy on her which is sounds like you wouldn’t but I’d tell her she should be at the rehearsal. She’s the MOH.

Post # 6
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would be miffed too, to be honest. She agreed to be your MOH; you didn’t force her. First off, I’d call her and speak with her about it on the phone. Don’t do this through Facebook. Tell her that you really expected her to be there for the rehearsal since she is the MOH and she does need to know what’s going on for the wedding (hence the rehearsal). Tell her that if she absolutely can’t reschedule her meeting, she needs to either come afterwards or be at X place by X time the next day to help you prepare.

Be friendly, but also firm. You’re not expecting too much to have your MOH there for the rehearsal. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Melini: I would ask her if she would be able to attend the rehearsal itself and not the dinner. I know how it can be with after hours dinner meetings that are “optional”. Sometimes by not attending, you miss out on key information. She should have picked up the phone and explained the situation to you herself….people have taken FB communication to the extreme. 

Post # 8
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I agree that someone’s wedding does not need to be the most inportant thing in the lives of the bridal party, but isn’t the rehearsal kind of important?  I would be hurt too, that she didn’t tell you in person but had someone else send you a message, on FB none the less.

Post # 9
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ

Just tell her to change it. People are silly sometimes, and you shouldn’t be hurt. She probably just didn’t think about how much she needs to be there and how much it means to you (and IMO, everyone in the BP REALLY needs to be at the rehearsal dinner). She has 2 months to reschedule her work meeting.

I dunno, maybe I’m not as sensitive as other girls. 😉 I totally agree with @Jenniferk6.

Post # 10
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I agree that she should reschedule the work meeting. I understand that it’s important, but generally the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner/wedding are kind of a package deal. And I’m willing to bet that your wedding was planned before this work event.

If, however, she’s unable to change it, try to be understanding. But I’d hope that she’d show some respect for her position as MOH.

Post # 11
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If she is the one scheduling the work meeting then yes I would see if she could reschedule it, however if it out of her control you really can’t do much about it.  Work trumps a wedding especially since that is what brings home the money. 

 

Post # 12
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I was once a bridesmaid who couldn’t make the rehearsal due to work.  Fortunately my bride was very understanding.  I managed to make it to the rehearsal dinner and was filled in on all the details then. Just ask politely if she could change the meeting, if not it’s not the end of the world.  She’ll be there on your wedding day and that’s what matters most. 

Post # 13
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I would say whatever. By then I refuse to worry about what anyone else is doing. As long as they show up on the wedding day I’ll be fine. Yea she’ll miss the rehearsal, but I have a coordinator who will just tell her when to walk down and who to walk back with. I will miss her company at the dinner, but oh well. I’m telling myself to be stress free 🙂

But I totally understand why you’re hurt.

Post # 14
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont think the rehearsal should be optional. She should be there. I would tell my moh to please be there.

Post # 15
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Sassygrn: agreed…work definitely would trump wedding. If she is the one actually running the meeting, then maybe she can reschedule. Otherwise, she probably has no choice but to attend. 

Post # 16
Member
4024 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

1 of my BM didn’t come to rehearsal. It wasn’t really a big deal to me. We just filled her in when she got there, and everything went perfectly smooth. To be honest, pretty much everyone has at least been to a wedding, and knows what goes on. I think the rehearsal is almost more for you and your timing and the music and such.

The topic ‘If your MOH asked you…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors