Post # 1
…if she was required to be at the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner b/c she had a work meeting schedule somewhere else (and wanted to know if she should change it), what would you tell her?
I know that mine wants me to give her absence my blessing, but my feelings are really hurt. She didn’t even call, but had her partner send me a note on FB. I asked my friends to be attendants to honor them, but also so that I wouldn’t be alone on my wedding night or to manage everything alone on ceremony day.
I keep reminding myself that weddings aren’t that important to a lot of people, and they aren’t trying to slight me if they don’t embrace it like some people might. They’ve already spent a lot on dresses, hotel, and travel, so I feel like I’m getting a little “bridezilla” as the date draws close.
Post # 3
@Melini: I would just say something along the lines of, “I would really like for you to at least come to the rehearsal so we can ensure everyone knows where they need to be on the day of the wedding. However, if you absolutely cannot reschedule your meeting I will understand. Just touch base with me/the wedding planner that night to ensure you know where you need to be on the wedding day.”
Post # 4
I understand more because it’s a work meeting, but is there any way to say that you PREFER that she reschedules it, but if she can’t, then you understand. I think that’s polite enough! I know why you would be disappointed, but it’s great that you recognize that not everyone may be as invested in the wedding as you are obviously!
Post # 5
I would ask her to change the work thing. She asked if she should (she probably knows she should too). I wouldn’t go crazy on her which is sounds like you wouldn’t but I’d tell her she should be at the rehearsal. She’s the MOH.
Post # 6
I would be miffed too, to be honest. She agreed to be your MOH; you didn’t force her. First off, I’d call her and speak with her about it on the phone. Don’t do this through Facebook. Tell her that you really expected her to be there for the rehearsal since she is the MOH and she does need to know what’s going on for the wedding (hence the rehearsal). Tell her that if she absolutely can’t reschedule her meeting, she needs to either come afterwards or be at X place by X time the next day to help you prepare.
Be friendly, but also firm. You’re not expecting too much to have your MOH there for the rehearsal. Good luck!
Post # 7
@Melini: I would ask her if she would be able to attend the rehearsal itself and not the dinner. I know how it can be with after hours dinner meetings that are “optional”. Sometimes by not attending, you miss out on key information. She should have picked up the phone and explained the situation to you herself….people have taken FB communication to the extreme.
Post # 8
I agree that someone’s wedding does not need to be the most inportant thing in the lives of the bridal party, but isn’t the rehearsal kind of important? I would be hurt too, that she didn’t tell you in person but had someone else send you a message, on FB none the less.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
Just tell her to change it. People are silly sometimes, and you shouldn’t be hurt. She probably just didn’t think about how much she needs to be there and how much it means to you (and IMO, everyone in the BP REALLY needs to be at the rehearsal dinner). She has 2 months to reschedule her work meeting.
I dunno, maybe I’m not as sensitive as other girls. 😉 I totally agree with @Jenniferk6.
Post # 10
I agree that she should reschedule the work meeting. I understand that it’s important, but generally the rehearsal/rehearsal dinner/wedding are kind of a package deal. And I’m willing to bet that your wedding was planned before this work event.
If, however, she’s unable to change it, try to be understanding. But I’d hope that she’d show some respect for her position as MOH.
Post # 11
If she is the one scheduling the work meeting then yes I would see if she could reschedule it, however if it out of her control you really can’t do much about it. Work trumps a wedding especially since that is what brings home the money.
Post # 12
I was once a bridesmaid who couldn’t make the rehearsal due to work. Fortunately my bride was very understanding. I managed to make it to the rehearsal dinner and was filled in on all the details then. Just ask politely if she could change the meeting, if not it’s not the end of the world. She’ll be there on your wedding day and that’s what matters most.
Post # 13
I would say whatever. By then I refuse to worry about what anyone else is doing. As long as they show up on the wedding day I’ll be fine. Yea she’ll miss the rehearsal, but I have a coordinator who will just tell her when to walk down and who to walk back with. I will miss her company at the dinner, but oh well. I’m telling myself to be stress free 🙂
But I totally understand why you’re hurt.
Post # 14
I dont think the rehearsal should be optional. She should be there. I would tell my moh to please be there.
Post # 15
@Sassygrn: agreed…work definitely would trump wedding. If she is the one actually running the meeting, then maybe she can reschedule. Otherwise, she probably has no choice but to attend.
Post # 16
1 of my BM didn’t come to rehearsal. It wasn’t really a big deal to me. We just filled her in when she got there, and everything went perfectly smooth. To be honest, pretty much everyone has at least been to a wedding, and knows what goes on. I think the rehearsal is almost more for you and your timing and the music and such.