If your not invited to a wedding of 200+ People. Does it mean that person

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
2888 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Ap2010: no. It just means you weren’t on their guest list. 

I know someone who had a 300 person wedding. She and her FI got to add 10 total friends to the list — the rest were family, family friends and work associates. 

So, it’s possible that you are their friend but they still have constraints to deal with. 

Post # 3
Member
2370 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Ap2010:  We have 208 on the guest list.  There are still people I wish we could have invited, people I consider friends.  But with 2 large families and a budget to be mindful of, we had to draw the line at some point.  We made sure that we could afford to host everyone we invited, should by some miracle they could all attend. 

Post # 4
Member
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

No. Maybe they both have big families or maybe their parents are helping to pay for the wedding and have commandeered the guest list. Either way, while it’s okay to be disappointed, I would not let this ruin or end the friendship. Managing a guest list is really difficult and you don’t know what went into it. As long as your friends continue to treat you well and want to hang out with you, they’re still your friends. Don’t take the non-invite personally.

Post # 6
Member
41840 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ap2010:  does it mean that the bride, groom or both of them don’t consider you a close friend? 

No. No one except the couple and the couples’ parents know how they decided on the guestlist. The couple may not have been allotted many spaces on the guestlist if they have large families, or their parents wanted to invite a lot of friends.

Post # 7
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

If you have to question whether or not your someone’s close friend purely based on a wedding guest list, then you’re probably not all that close in the first place. 

 

Post # 11
Member
5695 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

It could mean they don’t consider you close. It could mean their families are too big and their venue is too small. Really only the couple knows why certain guest lists cuts were made. I do not recommend that you ask. I recommend you accept it graciously.

Post # 14
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ap2010:  the title of your thread jumped out at me – I think you’ve written a few threads about maintaining friendships with people who dont reciprocate. Based on your other posts (regarding using Facebook likes to interpret friendship levels, etc.), my guess is that they don’t consider you to be a close friend. You can tell that someone’s a close friend if they actively try to spend time with you and be a part of your life.  People sometimes have to cut more acquaintance-like friends from that large, which I wouldn’t take personally – you can’t invite everyone you know, even if you like them. Again, you can tell based on the effort they put in. If it ends up being too one-sided, you can end up chasing people away.

Even if your not the wedding in the park girl, I remember that some excellent advice was given to that poster that probably would apply here (I.e., let it go, don’t chase people & find people who want to spend time with you). The other girl was lucky she didn’t get arrested.

Post # 15
Member
5149 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

Could be they don’t consider you a close friend or could be constraints with the list.  Agree with PP that if you need to go by a guest list to determine if you’re a close friend, then most likely you aren’t.

Post # 16
Member
6562 posts
Bee Keeper

The truly appropriate thing to do is to make the guest list of people who are close enough to merit an invitation, consider the budget,  and then plan accordingly, not the other way around. 

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