Post # 1
Let’s say your SO has given you a timeline for engagement. In my case it’s supposed to be June/July of this year. I’ve been quiet for nearly 3 months now and haven’t mentioned ANYTHING about engagement/marriage. I plan to stay silent until mid-late June…but at that point I might be ready to explode if there hasn’t even been a sign of something happening soon.
How long would you keep quiet? Would you wait until the end of the month in which he’s supposed to propose and then say something? Or would you give him more time? Just curious what others would do/have done.
Post # 3
I would be patient and let him do what he’s going to do. Maybe to us it seems like he has so many opportunities to propose, but maybe he hasn’t found that just right time. Also, things can come up. Trust him, and he will fall more in love with you, knowing you trust his word, and it will give him confidence to fulfill what he said he will do.
Post # 4
I’m not sure. After a few months of waiting I realized even though my husband was 27 no idea what to do or how to do it. He really didn’t have anyone to talk to about it either.
I sat down with him one night and showed him several rings we could order online (we used ebay- we were in college and financially supporting ourselves, but luxuries weren’t in the budget). He told me what he liked. After he said, “I really like this..” I asked him if he wanted to place a bid and we did it together. When the ring came we picked it up at the post office (together) and he gave it to me in the car. Was it a magical suprise proposal? No, but we’ve always made decisions together.
The other day I asked my husband why he didn’t propose on his own and he said he didn’t know how to go about it and the task of finding a ring was daunting- doing it together took all the pressure off.
Post # 5
I agree with August 1. Trust his timeline and let him surprise you. When you feel like you’ll explode, come here!
Post # 6
Definitely wait- it is hard I know- but you have a timeline…. give him the opportunity to make you very happy (or make you disappointed). You do not want to be the reason why the proposal is delayed.
Post # 7
I too would wait until August and maybe even a little bit longer to give him more time in the off chance something went awry with his plans. I know someone who had to propose to his FI later than expected because he didn’t anticipate the jeweler taking so long to size and clean the ring he bought.
Also, he most likely wants to surprise you – so he’s not going to consciously show any signs of his proposal plans.
Post # 8
begining of May i would open my dam mouth !
Post # 9
Well I have a timeline of the summer too and I talk about wedding stuff all the time No pressure about the engagement though; I’ve tried not to talk about that. He will definitely be hearing from me on September 1 if there is no bling on the finger though!
Post # 10
I would wait until August or even September if you can make it. Stuff happens and things come which could honestly cause a delay. Then the guy might just be too embarrassed to say anything.
At that time I would probably gently nudge him a bit to see what’s up.
Until then though, keep it in! You can do it!
Post # 11
August 1!!!! I just checked, it’s a Monday– he could propose the last weekend in July…his ‘deadline’ is July 31st! Keep up the good work in not mentioning it! Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Post # 12
@Tunacupcakes: The thing is, we’re both 30 and have been together over 5 years so I’m VERY impatient. But I will give him until mid-July before I open my mouth. Another thing is that before we can get engaged our parents have to meet. So that would have to happen by July, don’t you agree? I mean there’s no reason he would need more time on that part of the engagement process, correct?
Post # 13
Yes, meeting the parents would have to happen at the latest July in order for that to take place before the engagement.
As far as a delay. I’m not sure what could possibly delay a guy in proposing, but I just tend to like to give people the benefit of the doubt and a little extra “room” so to speak to move in their own way. If that is not how your relationship is or how you are as a person or if it’s getting to the point where he is just filibustering, then I echo the others when I say August 1st.
Post # 14
I guess I’m not a good example, as I kind of have a similar timeline, but it’s definitely not a set one. I had to bring it up last night. I wish I had a more set one, because it would help. I would say try your best and maybe bring it up around May if you haven’t met eachother’s families and try to coordinate that? After the families meet, I would try to wait until summer’s over (if you can). Hang in there!
Post # 15
I wouldn’t keep silent. Too impossible! If its on my mind, SO will hear about it from me. I say, everything in moderation. I tell SO how much I love him and can’t wait to marry him, can’t wait to do this or that with him. We keep our dialog open.
Post # 16
Oh right – I remember now that you said in another post that your families have to meet before he proposes. In that case, I would wait until May like jennab503 said and talk to him about making plans for your families to meet. I would try to only focus on your families meeting though and hold back on saying anything about the actual proposal until Aug-Sept. In the meantime, don’t worry – your time will come!