Post # 1
how do you respond to everyone asking this question? I’ve been married about 6 weeks and I can’t even count the number of times people have asked me "so, when are you going to have kids?" We would like to have children at some point, but our short-term plan does not include them. I’m student teaching in a few months and frankly, we can’t afford having a baby anytime in the near future. I don’t feel like I have to justify our choices to everyone (ILs, coworkers, perfect strangers!), but I do get the question quite a lot.
If you’re waiting to have kids and people ask you, do you explain all the reasons?
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2009 - University of Michigan Union
We are lucky, people haven’t really brought it up yet! My FMIL asked Mr. T about it on father’s day, but that’s about it. I should start thinking up something for when people start to ask though…
Post # 4
My parents are already bugging us about it…and we’re not even married yet! I really haven’t thought about how to handle it with other people. I usually just tell people that our goal is for me to be pregnant by the time I’m 30. I’m 26 right now and am a working professional so that usually seems to make sense to people.
Post # 5
I would probably say "As soon as people stop asking us about it" and hope that shuts them up. I’m not married yet but have been told to expect this question. I know people usually aren’t intentionally being rude, they are probably just trying to make conversation and it does seem like an obvious question for newlyweds, but I still can’t imagine what makes them think my uterus or childbearing plans are any of their business.
Post # 6
Ugh, we went to a work barbeque a couple weekends ago and heard this question 7 times!!! I just told everyone it’s illegal for people our age to have children. We’re only 24; stop with the questions already!
Post # 7
I explain, but most people don’t really ask us about it. They have, but I just say we want to wait until I finish school and want some time to be selfish together (maybe do some traveling and stuff). Since most people who have asked us have kids of their own, they totally understand. My sister is actually the one being annoying about it, but I think she thinks she’s being funny. We’re also both really young and have plenty of time. My family has two little kids running around yet (both 2. they were my flower girls) so i don’t think they’re dying for babies yet.
Post # 8
I say "Could I have a puppy first?" LOL They just stare and blink.
Post # 9
We’re not married yet but I have had people ask me when we think we’ll have kids, even FMIL, who knows our plans. I tell people we already have kids, our furry kids, and that’s enough for now. Then I tell them more seriously that I want to go to Graduate school and have some selfish time together before we start our family. Mr.Tal and I think that we’d like to go to Europe before we have kids, that might be an answer as well.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
People ask all the time, but it doesn’t really bother me. We aren’t planning on having kids until I’m pushing the limits of old age infertility ;). Kids just aren’t in our current plan right now, but I don’t consider it a touchy subject, so I’m usually pretty open about just saying we’re not ready and I’d like to focus on work for a few years. Plus we love our condo (and uh… cant move in this economy anyway) and since it’s 1 bedroom, we don’t really have room for a kid. The subject will def. get more touchy if one of us starts wanting to have a kid and one doesnt, but for now we’re in the same boat, so I don’t mind fielding the questions!
Post # 11
I haven’t decided how to respond to that question yet- I need to decide, or else I’ll probably respond in a shocking manner! SO and I do NOT want kids, EVER, and have made this abundantly clear to everyone we know. If I hear the question, it will be one of those *cocks head to side, eyes wide, cracks knuckles, unhinged jaws, leaps forward* deals hah
Post # 12
I read in a magazine the best response to this type of question: "Well, we want to try out all the different ways you can make a baby first, and that’s going to take a while!" Haha
Post # 13
i would like to start trying soon after we get married since i have been told i will have trouble concieving. my FI wants to wait till he finishes grad school…or in 3 years or so.
Post # 14
Just tell them that you guys would like to have children in the future but right now you just want to enjoy the time you 2 have together. That is what I tell people when they ask me and my fiance and we aren’t married yet! I know that some people pressure newlyweds and that is so wrong…children are great but a lot of work. I don’t have any, and to be honest don’t think my fiance and I will have children for at least 8-10 years. There are so many things we want to do before having children. But don’t worry about what other people think…this is your decision and no one else really should have an opinion on it 🙂
Post # 15
My FI and I don’t really like or want to have kids, but we get asked about it a lot. When my mother asks, I just ignore it. When nosy, pushy people ask about it, I just say "Oh, we hate kids." They usually seem to get upset and offended, and will walk away. I don’t mind doing that because I think they’re being rude by constantly asking and pushing.
Post # 16
My FI and I get comments like this too. Jeeze, what is it with people? Can’t we just get married? I love Ms.Editor’s response, lol!
We’re not even sure at this point if we want kids, ever. Right now they’re not part of our immediate future plans. Usually we tell people we’re trying to get our priorities in order. House, Wedding, Financial Security, and then we’ll re-examine the children scenario. Usually that gets a nod of understanding from the more rational ones.