If you've had a miscarriage how did you get excited during next pregnancy?

posted 3 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
1996 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Congrats! The fear will ease up over time. For me it started going away in the 2nd trimester. I was excited But still a bit nervous when I had an ultrasound at almost 13weeks and it hit me that the chance of m/c had gone down tremendously. But what really put me in excited baby mode was when I felt her move for the first time. It just made everything so real. After that the fear just went away. I’m expecting again & was super nervous & fearful at the beginning & am just getting to that really excited point bc I’m starting to feel little twinges & know I’ll be feeling the baby soon. Good luck. 

Post # 4
Member
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@AutumnMrs:  congrats!!  I had a missed miscarriage in Jan and I’m currently 12w3d pregnant. I’m still scared something will go wrong because we’ve only had 1 u/s at 6w since opted against the genetic testing, but we have heard the heartbeat since then. I started letting myself get excited after my 10w appt because we heard such a strong hb, but I’d be lying if the fear wasn’t still there. Seeing DH get excited now is what has really started making me excited. Good luck! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!

Post # 5
Member
2243 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I completely understand how you feel. My first pregnancy never progressed & I miscarried naturally at 5+4 weeks. When I got my 2nd BFP I cried sad tears; the line was so faint. I was devestated by the idea of going through this again. It was only after I took my 2nd round of betas (7 weeks) that I finally started accepting this pregnancy. I still worry so much that I’ll miscarry/already have & don’t know it. I think once I hear a heartbeat at my 12 weeks midwife appointment I’ll finally be able to exhale. I hope that the 12-13 week mark can bring you some comfort!

Post # 6
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t have any tips but I just wanted to chime in to say that I’m dealing with similar feelings.  Being pregnant after 3 miscarriages is really, really difficult and stressful. I have moments where I start to get excited and I have to tell myself to calm the heck down. I’ve done a LOT of praying and have been trying to enjoy every day with this pregnancy. I will be 10 weeks tomorrow and I have my second ultrasound on Tuesday. I’m trying so hard not to stress about it. Despite our previous losses, DH is already talking about when we can announce the pregnancy to friends and family. He wants to announce at 12 weeks but I’m thinking around 6 months…lol. Seriously though, I’m not eager to tell people but maybe after I see a healthy little baby on an ultrasound I’ll change my mind.

Post # 8
Member
8821 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@lroetheli:  +1

I feel the exact same way.  I hit 12 weeks tomorrow and I feel like it’s a great milestone. But there will always be a tiny worry in the back of my mind. I just try to enjoy every day 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I am so so sorry about your loss. I had a missed miscarriage last June at the end of 1st tri and this pregnancy has been so scary.

I went in for our first U/S..expecting the worst, praying for the best…and there was a HB.

At 11 weeks, my OB couldn’t find the HB, so sent me for an ultrasound. I was freaking. Baby was dead, right? Nope. Baby was perfect.

At 12.5 weeks we had our NT scan…baby HAS to have Downs Syndrome, right? No. There’s a 1:5000 chance now.

At 15w6d we had our gender scan. Baby has to have something wrong, right? Like one arm. No. Baby BOY looked perfect.

At 19w6d we had our anatomy scan. Baby HAS to have a heart defect or intestinal issue right? I read about it on google, on the bump, etc. Wrong. Baby looks perfect.

Then FINALLY. Finally. At 21 ish weeks, I FINALLY felt some movement. This has eased my worries a little. Now, I worry about preterm labor and having him too early…even though I know he would be just fine at 31.5 weeks.

 

I’m going to be honest. It’s been so hard to be excited. I fear the worst. But now it’s finally seeming more real. It just takes time 🙂

 

Post # 10
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Motherhood = worrying. If it wasn’t this, it’d be something else. But, congrats!

Post # 11
Member
2325 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@AutumnMrs:  I”m pregnant now after 2 mc’s. It’s hard because you have experienced the worst that can happen. It’s easy to worry. I don’t know, for me it took a while to feel safe and trust my body once I was pregnant again, and I still get worried and I’m almost 27 weeks.

At 11 weeks you don’t have a lot of ‘proof’ yet besides the ultrasounds but it’s exciting that you are so close to 12 weeks! That was a big relief for me.

Also my DH rented us a doppler to hear the heartbeat at home for reassurance between doctors visits – it has been a huge source of relief for me for those moments I’m worried.

Post # 12
Member
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@AutumnMrs:  I am so sorry you are going through this, but congratulations on your current pregnancy!  I had a miscarriage in March and am now pregnant again (close to you in due date I think, I will be 11 weeks tomorrow).  I completely understand the fear of letting yourself get excited.  To be honest, I haven’t been as excited this time around.  I want to be, but I have a hard time letting my mind go there just yet.  It does get easier though with each passing milestone.  Like others have mentioned, I am hoping to relax a bit more after making it out of the first trimester.  Feel free to join us on the January 2014 babies board when you’re ready, we are a very chatty bunch and quite a few of the mommas on there have experienced prior miscarriages so it is a great support system.

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