(Closed) "I'll be pissed if you don't serve cake!"

posted 5 years ago in Food
Post # 3
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@missjuli:  I agree with you. People think they have a right to dictate what you do at your wedding just because they’re invited. THEY DON’T.

Post # 4
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@missjuli:  I would actually be kind of excited if I went to a wedding and a different dessert other than cake was served.  I had whoopie pies instead of cake.  Your uncle is being ridiculous!

Post # 5
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

When you’re planning a wedding, you are going to get a lot of opinions and unsolicited advice.


Screw that.  Do what you want.



Personally, I prefer cake at a wedding.  Looks grander, and if done right (buttercream, not assy fondat) it tastes wonderful!!!!


Various desserts sound good too, though.  I certainly wouldn’t turn down a slice of cheesecake or carrot cake.  Don’t make the mistake my cousin made– she had a pyramid of donuts.  It looked cheap and the donuts were rock hard.  That was probably a budget thing, so I have never said anything negative about it to anyone, but it was a bad bad bad idea.


Post # 6
3825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have a few comments. 

1. (this comment is written in jest) Regarding cake. I am a fan of cake. There’s a select few of us on this planet that count cake as a major food group. Perhaps this will help you to understand us better. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html <—hilarious story about cake if you have that kind of sense of humor


2. (serious comment) I totally get it. I know what it’s like to have personal preferences about stuff and when people keep telling you, “It’s your big day! You can have whatever you want!!” they are ready to bite your head off at the first hint of you cutting a “traditional” wedding food or practice. Which makes you question the whole “It’s your day” thing.


3. I’m learning that us different folks that “really don’t see the point in (fill in the blank)” sort of have to bend to some of the “norms” of traditional wedding planning since we signed up to go the “traditional” route. 

I didn’t want to have a garter and bouquet toss. My mom talked me into it. I didn’t want to have line dancing (booty call, the wobble, etc), but my mom said “you have to stop being selfish and think of others!” …yeah, on my day. 

The whole thing is a paradox. I think I’ll go drown my sorrows in some cake.

Post # 7
4715 posts
Honey bee

I would be upset if I got to a wedding and there was no cake… but I wouldn’t say anything to the bride about it! How rude!

Post # 8
8464 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I don’t care what kind of dessert it is, cookies, cake, pie, brownies, etc; as long as you have dessert.

Post # 9
5969 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Well, I don’t think anyone has any right to complain or be angry about a hostess’s menu choice, it’s your menu, serve what you like.

That being said, I LOVE CAKE!  I would go register my car in Germany if there was a rumor circulating that you get a piece of cake after…and it’s a natural assumption that at a wedding, there’s going to be cake..so I get pretty excited about it…because cake is a special treat for someone like me.

But if I was at a wedding, and they did something other than cake, I’d still be totally into it, whatever it was, because this isn’t my party, and just because most weddings have cake, doesn’t mean they HAVE to…or that people should complain because that’s just silly.

Post # 10
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I went to a wedding last summer where only the bridal party and family had cake, the rest of the guests had a huge dessert table to choose from. I don’t think anyone was offended and I was happy as I don’t eat cake/cookies and they served fruit. 


You’re throwing a huge party, I’m sure the majority of the guests will be grateful for whatever you serve! The percentage that isn’t, well… you can’t please everyone and some people are just difficult to please in general!

Post # 11
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Canal St Inn

@Brideonabudgetlauren:  Me too! If someone went out of their way to plan for something really special, something that you don’t normally eat often, all I’d be thinking is “This is SO much better than cake!” And I freaking love cake, y’all.

Post # 13
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I actually make wedding cakes,and trust me my cakes are delicious.

HOWEVER, I won’t be having one at my wedding! LOL. I’m making a fake display cake, just because I have an idea in mind that I’d like to try. But personally, I find cake to be really predictable, and who really eats the cake anyways? My venue has a dessert table, so I don’t see the need for cake. 

Post # 14
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FortiesFlare:  Are you just burned out on cake?  I know I would be, if I was a baker and was around it all the time.




The cake we had at our wedding was unfreakingbelievable.  We took the topper home (many people thought we should freeze it to have it on our one-year anniversary.)  Well, the topper didn’t survive the weekend.  My husband is not a sugar maniac, but he polished off the entire thing before Monday morning.  

Post # 15
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@missjuli:  A lot of people love traditions and take them very seriously. Thanksgiving = turkey, wedding = cake. Of course you can buck whatever traditions you don’t like, but there will be backlash. If there’s a lot of backlash from important people, you might want to rethink your decision. If it’s one uncle you only see at Christmas and who maybe always finds something to complain about anyway, well… either ignore him or smile and say “we’ll keep that in mind.” 

People are much less likely to complain about something like this during or after the event though, so one way to avoid this type of input altogether is to just keep your non-traditional plans to yourself. Broadcasting them in advance is almost inviting criticism. It’s not like they need advance notice so they can bring emergency cake. When they get there, they’ll either not even notice the lack of cake, or they’ll notice it and think “hm, that’s different” and then enjoy whatever desserts are offered. Nobody is going to come up to a bride and say “WHERES MAH CAKE, DAMMIT?!” Or if they do, then they’re rude and don’t deserve cake in the first place!

Post # 16
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It drives me crazy when people think they can say things like that! Ugh, it’s not their wedding! I’m very iffy on cake, and I’ve very much disliked every wedding cake I’ve ever had. I can’t understand spending hundreds of dollars on something I don’t want, and something that’s not going to taste good. 

We still want to serve our guests dessert of course, but we’ll serve a dessert that everyone can enjoy. We’re having a key lime pie for our “cake” (the one we actually cut), and then an array of pies (apple, lemon meringue, cherry, etc.) for the formal dessert. As favors, we’re doing a candy bar with a bunch of different offerings. Perfect for us!

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