- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2012
This past weekend my FI and I decided to work towards confirming a first round guest list so we could start making our invites.While 150 was the maximum for our venue we had agreed we would be far more comfortable with 115-130.
When we had first discussed lists a few months back it had become clear that both our parents had substantial wish lists. My family is about as big as a Greek family can get and on top of everything, my mother intended on inviting my 2nd cousins and their families, since we had been invited to their weddings. Between my 20 1st cousins, their spouses & parents, my side of the venue was already full. So I reasoned with my mom and she agreed to draw the line at extended family I managed to get my side of the list down to a friendly 62 in-town guests, including my friends, and then 4 additional families living in Greece. Given the economic situation, we can rest assured that we will not be overcrowded on our big day.
My FILs, however, have not been nearly as cooperative! In March, we had decided to make a preliminary guest list at their house, so they had taken it upon themselves to write what they referred to as a “wish list”. When they returned, the list up around 70 people and while a few overlapped with Mr Rugbee’s guest list, many were distant relatives that he didn’t even know. I confronted my FIL about the number of guests but he was stubborn and told me I would have to make sacrifices. Since we were going nowhere, we ended the conversation there.
In subsequent conversations, the ILs told us not to worry and that it was “our wedding” and we could do what we’d like. They even reassured us that their list was only a “wishlist” and that they could do without a few. So Sunday when we sat down with my FMIL, Mr Rugbee figured it would be a productive conversation. How wrong…
We managed to whittle down their list to 53, leaving just enough room for Mr Rugbee’s best friends and their SOs. When my FI ran this list by my FFIL, the tone changed fairly quickly. My FFIL, stated quite clearly that if he couldn’t have at least the 60 first guests on his list then he might as well have none at all. The main number driving it from 53-60+ is several 2nd cousins invited that Mr Rugbee has never met! In fact, when trying to reason with his father he explained that he had met more of my family-guests than of his. We also told my FILs that my mother had NOT invited 2nd cousins. Deaf ears…
Now my FI is hurt. While several close friends from my rugby team will be attending the wedding, he doesn’t have any space for his own. Ultimately, there will be space for his friends but it will come from my side of the guest list. It is the principle of it all that is the most aggravating.
I wish there was a way to reason with this stubborn FIL!