Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 1/2 years. We started dating in 8th grade, went through high school together and now go to college 200 miles apart. We both had our heart set on the same college since we were little (we were both huge UT fans when we met, it had nothing to do with eachother) and he didn’t get in, but he is trying to transfer in this spring. I am SO HAPPY with him. He is so attentive, so kind, he understands me better than I understand myself, I love his family, he loves mine, and he’s just my best friend. I really really want to marry him, and we have talked about marriage. I am only a freshman in college, and I have friends who are older who said they thought they were with ‘the one’ when they were freshmen, and then broke up. I want to be very wise about this and not be naive, but If we were 23 when we started dating instead of 13, we would definitely be married by now!
Also, people say, ‘how do you know you love him if you’ve never dated anyone else?’
Literally y’all, I am sooooooo happy in this relationship. I’m not in the ‘honeymoon phase’ anymore, we’ve been together for almost 5 years. I literally cannot dream of any guy better for me, so I truly don’t think I could be happier with anyone else.
We’ve done long distance. We’ve dealt with family drama, relatives dying, and a lot of the hardships of life together, and they have only made us stronger.
So, I have two questions:
1. How long do you recomend waiting? Until I’m 21? 25? Until college is over? Get married now?
2. Do you think it’s OK that we’ve never dated anyone else?
also, I own my own business and we both have full scholarships/jobs and are mostly financially independant.
Post # 3
Until you graduate college, get a job, live on your own, can take care of yourself, have lived your life to fullest.
Post # 4
Wait until you guys graduate and have jobs. Financial stress is a marriage killer.
If your both happy it’s fine that you haven’t dated other people.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Catholic Church
DH and I never dated anyone else. We got engaged in September of our first year of college (I was just turned 18 and he was 19) and married almost 2 years later (I was 19 almost 20 and he was 20). We are now happily married. We’ve known each other since we were 6ish and 7ish and never dated anyone else. We were close friends for years. He started courting me when I was 17 and the rest is history.
Post # 6
Thank you 🙂 also, some people tell me that I need to have ‘the college experience’ and go party and stuff…that’s totally not me. I absolutely believe in the college experience, but I am not a party girl at all. I don’t really need to ‘sow my wild oats’ or get anything out of my system.
Post # 7
I would definitely wait until you’re both financially independent from your parents. Things will be much easier then.
Post # 8
Wait until you can financially support yourselves living on your own after college. You don’t want to start a marriage fighting about money! It doesn’t matter that you haven’t dated other people, as long as you’re both happy with it. If you’re going to be together for the rest of your lives, waiting a couple years isn’t too much of a big deal 🙂
Post # 9
@ ScottishMrs: Did you graduate college? Were finances a big burden?
Post # 10
I agree with others who recommend being financially independent before you get married. It will be so much less stressful! And really…there’s no reason to get married right away. If you’re sure, you’re sure…and you can wait until you’re done with college. Getting that out of the way will be a huge relief. Also, if he cannot transfer to your school, you will be able to live together.
Post # 11
Finish your degrees and have a stable job and place to live. Then get hitched!
Post # 12
I absolutely don’t think that you should date anyone else. It sounds like you too are perfect for each other and it sounds like you are both happy so why give it up.
Even though you are 19 you are still growing into your own person and so is he. Is it possible that you guys could get married tomorrow and divorce in a year. Absolutely. I mean how often do people find their soulmates when they are barely teenagers. Not often.
It sounds like you are one lucky lady to be living in a fairy tale. It sound like you have a great relationship. And if you believe that you can grow old with this guy then you will probably have a great marriage. My got engaged just before her 20th birthday and married a year later. She has been happily married for the last 7 years and they are definitly a couple that is going to last. There is no doubt in my mind that they are in it for the long haul.
Post # 13
I think so much of this depends on your community. It would be very lonely to be a college student and married, and not have other married or people who are in serious relationships that you can hang out with in a couple. If you have lots of friends who are getting engaged and married during college, then it might be a different story.
Also, from my own experience most relationships that fall apart during college do so during Freshman or Sophomore year. Give it some time, and see how you are doing once you have fully adjusted to being away. You have only been in college for 2-3 months!
Post # 14
I don’t think that you need to date others before getting married but I do think you should both be out of school and living in the same city before getting married (really before getting engaged).
Post # 15
I think it’s worth waiting a bit to be engaged/married, but don’t feel like you need to see other people to prove to others that you like each other best. That’s just silly.
I voted for give it a year or so or wait until after college for practical reasons (money, growing into your education and career, finding a location to live based on job prospects, etc). I didn’t vote “get married now” simply because if you’re still being a bit bothered by people’s commentary or questioning internet folks for advice, it may not be quite time yet. My husband and I have been together since we were fifteen, so I get where you’re coming from, but I’d say give yourselves all the time in the world to enjoy these college years (as you’d wish, not the stereotypical “college expeirience” – make it your own!) and when the time is right, you two will find yourselves planning a wedding 🙂
Post # 16
Personally, I’d wait until I was 25 or older. I got married at 28.