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Sex is important in a relationship. You wont always be on the same page, but you need to understand each other. Are you wanting it 5 times a week and him only 2? Or him only 2 times a month.
You need to tell him how you feel and see what his response is. It may be a physical problem or it may be that he loves you in everyway but the sex way- which means this is not a long term relationship
@lefeymw: I know that we are in a long term relationship because he tells me all the time that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He knows how I feel about it and its not that I want to do it like 5 times a week I just know if i didnt bring it up then he could prob go for ever without having sex with me.
@eeerika22: then ask him if its a physical problem. This may hurt to read, but he may love you, just not in the way that relates to sex. I knew several couples like this, but the sex drive changed with different people.
If he was once sexual, but now not. There is a reason. If he was never sexual and no change to medications has occurred then he may just not be "that into you" even though he loves everything about you.
He should talk to his doctor about it. If he doesn't have a physical problem, then it might be as lefeymw: said and he's not into you. 
if he says he is tired is he and is it medical that could be affecting him? otherwise is he a morning or night person? my husband its tired most nights and doesnt like having sex because we get up at 5.30am (for training) and its go go go all day so at night the last thing he wants is sex
it really hurt my self confidence for a while because it didnt make me desirable and i felt a failure (i mean its really not that hard to get a guy off right and we were struggling) so we changed our routine a bit and morning works much better for him
goodluck, i understand how upsetting it is
@redheadem: I would hope not and I would think if he really isn't into me then he wouldn't be with me still. We are already in a serious relationship and its hard to explain. He is so loving to me and he's just the best. We are so happy and in love. I know he is "in to me" but the whole sex thing is just weird. And it hasn't always been this way. We used to have sex all the time in the beginning and first year of our relationship.
Just throwing this out there – he might have depression. I’m saying this based off of two things you point out: decreased sex drive, and feeling tired (and the fact that I'm a nurse..). This is more than pretty common in individuals who have depression. I think there is a way greater chance that this is the problem than him not finding you sexually attractive.
Has there been any major schedule changes in your life? I say this because that is what FI and I experience from time to time. Whenever one (or both) of us go through major schedule changes, sex just isn't number one on our radar. Among the things that rank higher: sleep and food. We are just literally too tired sometimes, especially FI. He works an insane amount of hours each week and normally only has 1 day off, so yeah, our sex life is in a bit of a slump because of it. The best thing we have done is try to spice things up - lingerie, new things (lotions, etc). That way, if it piques his interest enough, he forgets that he is exhausted for a little while.
P.S. I kind of doubt he doesn't find you attractive if it was so hot & heavy before, unless you like grew another head and are grossly hairy now. LOL. I really think it may be something medical or schedule related.
Thank you ladys..I really do value and understand all of your opinions even if some are hard to read. I dont epexct sex to happen that much during the week ever because we are always tired sense we get up at 4:30am everyday. I have never really thought of depression being the problem. I know that he is going through some stuff right now with his job and just being stressed. If there is something like that that has been going on for this long I wish he would open up to me. I ask him all the time but I have noticed a big change in him this past month with him being more unhappy with things in life like money and his career. He always says its nothing that I am doing wrong and im the only good thing in his life that keeps him going.
I felt like I should chime in here and say you are not alone... I've had this problem with my FI for a while now. When we first got together we had sex a few times a week and all was good. But as time went on we went longer and longer without and neither of us really noticed at first. But once I started to realize how long we were going without I felt a lot like you and it hurt and it created a lot of resentment in our relationship. Not that I'm an overly sexual person but FI is very much not... I would like to have sex like once a week and he could go a few months and not even bat an eyelash. But I learned that he shows his love in other ways like cuddling, holding hands etc (and telling me all the time how much he loves me). To him sex just isn't a high priority in our relationship since we spend a lot of meaningful time together other times.
It took a few blow up arguements for me to get my point across of sex being a higher priority for me and for him to voice his feelings about how stressed he is and tired all the time (he works a ridiculous amount of hours and an opposite schedule than me) and that when he comes home he just wants to BE with me and relax... To him sex isn't a relaxing thing, yea it's fun but it is work. I've gotten used to us not having as much sex and he makes an effort to initiate it more often and we've figured out how to make it work for us, the sex isn't as great as it used to be but we're working on it and we'll get there. The point is we are both working on it and we have to be honest with eachother.
Some things that I think contribute to FI not being as sexual as he used to be are some weight gain, poor diet, stress and working long hours... Does your FI have any of these things going on? That could be the problem, so talking to him about those things (in an open and honest way without accusing him of anything) might help start the conversation.
Just remember to keep your head up, your SO loves you, and him being this way has nothing to do with you. But you do have to figure out if this is just how he is and if he isn't willing to change/work on it then you have to ask yourself if you can/want to live like this forever? And be honest when you answer that and tell your SO the answer, he might not know how important this is for you.
@eeerika22: I mean it probably IS a medical issue. He obviously loves you!
Stress can have a big effect on a guy. You said you noticed that it's changed in the past month or so. Sounds like he is dealing with something. Maybe try to approach him calmly and ask if something is going on in his life because you have noticed him acting differently.
My bet would either be stress, or, if he works a lot, he really is extremely tired. The thing is if that's the case, he has to realize how this makes you feel and make time for you. Was there a schedule or a life change around the time this started happening?
Also chiming in that you're not alone. I have some other sex issues besides timing, but timing is a problem too because I've always been an early to rise (up at 7 am every morning even on weekends) early to bed girl and my SO is the exact opposite. I always want to have sex in the morning and his response is always "mmble mmble go away" or something as eloquent and I have a similar response late at night when he's ready to go. The solution? Afternoon quickies on our lunch breaks and wekeneds ;).
I also second the stress, poor diet and tiredness, I definately notice a drop in both mine and SO's sex drives when we've had a bad week. I really doubt it's because he's not attracted to you or just not that into you. I know it's hard to fight those doubts because I had them myself (and my SO admitted he had those same doubts too before I came forward about my sex problems that I had long before I met him), but look for affection in other ways (cuddling, kissing, handholding etc) and know that he's still into you :).
@imageeksowhat: yeah there has been a little change in our times but nothing too major. we work at the same place but in different deparmtnes so we carpool. We both tend to have poor eating habbits but its not extramly bad. Sense we have both been together we have both gained a little weight and he does get depressed about that and the way he looks. but i tell him all the time he is not fat and i love the way he looks. Im always trying to boost his self esteme but I guess i have never thought of him being that way because he is insecure. that is a huge wake up call i havent thought of.
I had a bf that always shot me down and I thought it was weird...I guess things change, etc. I am not always up for "doing it" but I have lots of body image issues, etc. FI is so great but it's me that holds muyself back..maybe something similar is goin on.
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Hello Bees,
I have been embarressed to ask opinions on this but I have gained the courage too now...
I am 21 years old and my SO is 25. We have been together for over 3 years and when we first started dating the sex was great and we were having sex all the time. Then after a year I noticed the lack of interest in him for wanting to have sex with me. The past 2 years have been horrible in that department and its to the point where I always throw myself out there and I always get shut down. Then I start to cry and he wonders why and it always ends up in a arguemnt. He doesnt understand that it makes me feel like im not good enough or that hes not attractive to me anymore. I feel like when he does have sex with me now its only because he knows I will get upset. When we are having sex it doesnt last very long and hes always so tired afterwards we can never do it again in the same day. I feel like its just a chore to him to just keep me happy but I miss the fire in him when he used to make me feel wanted and not just a chore. Everything else in our relationship is amazing and I just dont know what to do. I ask him all the time why he is like this and all he ever says is hes never been a sexual person. I find that hard to understand or believe.... :( i dont know what to do...