Post # 1
Ok, I am with a man that is 5 years younger than I am. I am 30 and he is 25. We met about 5 years ago. We are madly inlove and can not imagine life without eachother. When we are apart even for a day we miss eachother. We do everything together. I am divorced and have 2 children of my own. The problem is we are from ethnic backgrounds and we are getting alot of judgement especially from his family. He is the only boy amongst 4 girls. His mother often asks him if he has lost his mind and always brings up that my children are a problem and that I am older. His sisters also do not like the idea. He is very mature and thinks of things like more kids and wanting my kids to work with him when they get older and buying a house etc. He assures me that he doesnt care what people think or about the age and constantly says i look younger as I have been told by many people. We have been through everything and as we say we are soulmates. We want to get married but there is a big problem with his family. They have known about me for years but were hoping it wouldnt last even thought i have been nothing but nice on the very few occasions I have had contact with them. All this has made me very insecure and I wanted to get your opinion on this topic and if you think a 5 year age gap with the woman being older is an issue.
Post # 3
personally I don’t have an issue with it.
Post # 4
Five years isn’t that big of an age gap – I don’t think there’s anything wrong.
Post # 5
If you are madly in love and see this man as you future husband, other people’s opinions shouldn’t matter.
Don’t let his family get you down- lots of people have family issues about all sorts of things. If people aren’t criticizing your age difference, they’ll be criticizing something else.
I personally wouldn’t want to date a younger man, but it’s just PERSONAL preference- five years is not even that big a gap.
Post # 6
Five years is nothing…especially since your are both well over the age of 18. Try not to worry about what his family thinks. If you’re both on the same page about your relationship, there’s no reason not to stay together. Good luck!
Post # 7
@Mousush: It can be an issue if you make it an issue. If he’s mature and ready to settle down and ready for the responsibilities of being a step parent then great. The average 25 year old male isn’t ready.
I say try to ignore what everyone is saying. They’re probably just trying to protect him so try not to take it personally.
5 years isn’t *that* much in the grand scheme of things.
Post # 8
5 years is no big deal at 30 and 25. If you were 20 and he were 15, I would take issue but it is really no big deal.
Post # 9
In my opinion, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that sort of age difference, or the fact that you have kids, if you and he are fine with it. I’m really sorry his family is being unpleasant about it– I have had way too much experience with families being disagreeable about such things. If you can, ignore them, act as normally as possible, and let him know (if he doesn’t already know) that he needs to stick up for you and your relationship around them. If they are too offensive, request that he take them to task for criticizing his choice.
At least, that is what I would recommend in the kind of families I am used to. . . but you mention a cultural issue, so I don’t know if my advice would go over well in whatever culture he is from.
If you two love each other, you can probably get through anything!
Post # 10
Yeah… 5 years is not a big deal especially when he is 25 and you are only 30. And I really don’t have an issue with it.
Post # 11
i am 6 years older than my husband and i have a child from a previous relationship. i’m divorced too.
we have never had any problems with any of it. my in-laws love my son and i and only wish that i had met their son earlier.
Post # 13
If you were 20 and he was 15, then I’d have an issue. But at the ages you are, I don’t really see a problem. If he’s mature, ready for a relationship, and you are compatible, there’s nothing wrong. Don’t let other people get you down – focus on the love you have for each other!
Post # 14
Eh not a issue here considering I am almost 4 years older than my DH.
Post # 15
Forget your parents and relatives.
Forget your ages.
Does he treat you well? Are you happy? Can you see yourself growing old with him?
If so, to hell with other people. Age is an arbitrary marker. I’ve met 20 year olds I would trust with my life and others who I wouldn’t trust with my laundry. It’s a bit odd to have the woman as the older person in the relationship, but only because that’s not how it usually works, not because it is a problem.
I hope your family gets over it because they’re 100% in the wrong!
Post # 16
I’m 7 years older than my husband and he is more mature than the men I’ve met who were my age and older.