I'm 36. My life is over. Blah. loooooong

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@jadlnc:  Aww hun, it’s ok to be a sappy pile of mush sometimes! Don’t be so hard on yourself, every once in a while we all just need a breakdown! Sounds like you just are having an emotional time, a little mini-mid life crisis. Totally normal. Seriously.

Go out for your birthday! Get drunk! Dance! Watch the sunset! Then adopt a dog when your kids are all gone!!

Post # 4
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m 25 and I’m rolling my eyes at you. Getting old is a blessing in my eyes, my mother died when she was 49 so I have no time for those who complain about getting older.

Post # 5
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

Well you are right – at just turned fifty how do you think I feel to hear you at 36 thinking your life is over!!  However I sympathise – that kind of feeling can hit you at any age and I would put it down more to your worry about your dad and grandma.  My philosophy is to try and think about the positives in your life – from the sound of it you have healthy children and a great man!  Also make the best of yourself at all times – don’t make the mistake of spending on your kids instead of yourself – great hair and nails etc can make you feel great and those around you will still benefit from you being happy!!  always bear in mind that there are others worse off than you and you will get through life- it really is about accepting what you’ve got – my son is a man of twenty now and I will never be young again but most people don’t think I look my age!

 

Post # 6
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jadlnc:  Aw sometimes we all need to go ahead and let it out. I agree with @lealorali:  get your party on and celebrate And when you’re done,  Pat yourself on the back for all you’ve accomplished thus far in your life! For what it’s worth, I’ve broken down a few times:) I’ll be 38 in 47 days and my only child will graduate HS next June! 

Post # 7
Member
3806 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

You should consider life in stages. You are moving from one stage to another and no your life is not over. The way you had to find happiness in past stages, you are being challenged to find happiness with this new stage. Put your energy into this positive thought.

Post # 8
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I know you probably don’t want to hear it, but 36 is young. It sucks to get older, but you have your health and your family and there are a lot of people who don’t have nearly that much.

Post # 10
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I suppose I was trying to say that really it sounds like you have it pretty sweet, so I don’t understand your post. I clicked on it because ‘my life is over’ as title got my attention. apologies if my reply came across as snarky, i guess im just having a Shit day too! 🙂

Post # 12
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@adoc86:  much more diplomatic way of putting it! 

Post # 13
Member
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jadlnc:  Well… not to sound insensitive, but I don’t think that’s that bad. I had an accident when I was 13 and have been in a wheelchair ever since. Big deal? Not really. We all have problems. There are people with terminal illnesses, heck there are people that lose their babies to terminal illnesses! So I’d take a wheelchair or asthma any day. You have to look at the big picture and realize that things could be so much worse than what they are.

Post # 14
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

@jadlnc:  I think the fact that it is your birthday is making you think about things today!  Every now and then I think OMFG I am 50!!!!! and have a mini meltdown!  But life is not only full of stages but also the unknown and that is what is happening to you today.  When children grow up it is inevitable that their mum will feel ‘old’ and to some extent redundant and that new life that you were looking forward to seems a bit scary now.  So treat yourself today and if you want to spend it weeping and wailing you do it girl!!  I am sending you a big hug and telling you what you already know deep down – you will get used to this next stage of life and you will feel good again but hey indulge yourself HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Post # 15
Member
4834 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@jadlnc:  It sounds like you sort of “started” your life pretty young so you’re feeling older sooner! I know some women who have their first kid at 36!! But hey you still have a wedding to look forward to Smile

Post # 16
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

I promise that I have NO intention of patronizing you and hope to encourage you.

I am 53.  God help the first person to call me “old” or “senior”.  They will do it “once” if you know what I mean.  My goal is to be like Betty White when I grow up.  Heavy emphasis on the when part.

I am not one of those eternal chipper go getters.  In fact, I suffer from chronic depression and have for 14 years.

What I do know is this:  my goal is to wrack up as many birthdays as possible.  My dad died at 43 when I was 3 and my mom died at 44 when I was 10.  Both died of cardiovascular issues.  Looking back from where I am now, they were babies when they died.  2 of my brothers died in 2006, 6 months apart, both in their mid 50’s.  One from cancer, the other from cardiovascular.

My theory is you either wrackup another birthday or push daisies.  I’m not ready to push daisies.

I really encourage you to start looking around at older people you know who have a good life.  What do they do that encourages that?  What is about them that makes you stop and notice their happiness and quality of life?  Figure that out and apply it to yours.

We have a blended family with 5 kids.  My 2 girls are the oldest (31 and 32), his 2 girls are next at 26 and 29, and then we have a son together who is 18 and started community college today.  He was a huge surprise…..

I have been raising kids for 32 years, non-stop.  When he leaves home, I’ll be just fine with it.  He has Asperger’s so he will be with us all the way through college, but he will eventually be out on his own with his own life.  I soooo look forward to that!

All 4 girls have left the nest – quite some time ago.  Remember how exciting it was when you went out on your own?  All the lessons you learned?  It will be your job to encourage your kids to do that and to succeed.  (Crying in the bathroom with the ugly face cry is perfectly acceptable – just make sure they don’t see it!).  Your job is not done when they leave home.  They start a new adventure and they will still need your guidance.  They won’t think so at first, they will know it all.  After awhile, the phone starts ringing again and you aren’t as dumb as they thought you were.  They start asking for advice and guidance.

It is a wonderful stage in life to have your kids building their adult lives.  I have 6 grandkids!  We go to the beach a lot, we go to waterparks (Nana rides the big stuff with them, thank you very much!), we go camping.  Life is good.

One more thing – start investing in yourself now.  Start doing things for you so that when the kids start to move out, you have established a life of your own.  Someone used the analogy of seeing your life as a pie.  Make sure you save a piece for you and you don’t give it all away.

I PROMISE – life is good on the other side.  Really!

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