I'm a bit ticked!! bachelor party woes

posted 3 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kittywolf13:  Why the heck is the groom choosing his own bachelor party? A bachelor party is a gift, and you can’t go asking for a $500-$1000 gift (or whatever it costs to go interstate).

FI should tell his brother, “Sorry, I have other plans for the bachelor party”. End of discussion. If FBIL wants an interstate party, he can ask someone else.

ETA: Regarding his own, if FI doesn’t want strippers he should tell his brother, “No strippers, that’s not negotiable”. And walk out if they try to organise some. (You can’t say what your party is, but you can say what your party is not).

Post # 5
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

FI should just tell the groom that he cannot make it… dont even need to mention that its a finance isse..

On a different note… for his batchelor party, yes you can totally ask the gamer guys to come up with some geeky thing. For my husband’s batchelor party, they “kidnapped” his desktop, and had him do “quests” to get the pieces back (tower, keyboard, etc). Just silly little things like making him build a lego model and then sell it to a random person, figure out a very suggestive riddle, etc. 

Also, if people give you grief about not being supposed to plan it for him, just tell them that you just want it to be something that he will enjoy, you can even mention that he does not enjoy drinking/clubs, etc…

Also, if he is a pushover and knows it… just ask him if he is okay with you helping him stand up to his family. DH is a people pleaser sometimes too.. and if I need to I will sometimes help to back him up and enforce what he is saying.

Post # 7
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@kittywolf13:  Ahh.. well if they are not invited to the wedding then its a little more awkward to talk to them about that… are you not able to squeeze 3-4 more people in for the sake of him having a good batch party? (I know its like half a table though :/ )

And about getting involved where you dont belong… He is your future husband, if you know that what they might otherwise plan is something he would not enjoy, just tell the pertinent people as much… eg. “I know you guys are planning his batch, and I really want him to have a good time so you need to know that he actually really does not like _________ and really really likes __________ I thought that ________ would be a good idea, but you guys are planning it. Please just bear in mind that he would not enjoy __________.”

He should also tell them outright what he would and would not like to do. Its a surprise type of thing, yes.. but especially if you guys both think they might plan something he doesnt like, then they need to know that he would not enjoy himself at certain things.

Post # 8
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Your FI needs to be assertive and tell him that he simply can’t afford it. Honestly, it’s perfectly fine for him to do that.

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