Post # 1
I am a bridesmaid for an upcoming wedding that is only three weeks away. I have known the bride since we were young but we haven’t been that close recently. I don’t love being a bridesmaid but have tried my best to be a part of her big day. I attended the bridal shower and threw her a big bachelorette party. At the bachelorette party, some of the other bridesmaids kept making snarky comments to me about not being more involved in the wedding process (I only attended one dress fitting because I was unable to make it to the original dress shopping due to work). Anyways, at the bachelorette party the maid of honor got in my face and was yelling at me and ended up punching me in the stomach. I was beyond shocked and just walked away to collect myself. The bride was acting all upset and told me that everyone just needed to get along.
My dilemma is this: I feel like I have been as involved in the wedding as I possibly can be. The brides attitude towards me after being punched by her Maid of Honor and just expecting me to keep a smile on my face and enjoy the night has just gotten under my skin (and i did let the Maid/Matron of Honor apologize and pretended like it all never happened for the bride). I feel like I am being treated so poorly as a friend but I am expected to suck it all up because I am a bridesmaid. On top of it, I have spent a lot of money on all these events and it is really just expected and not appreciated.
I can’t even stand the thought of seeing everyone at the rehearsal dinner, spending the night with the girls at the hotel the night before the wedding, and even attending the wedding (let alone being a part of it).
Can i drop out?
Post # 3
Of course! I probably would have dropped out for less!
Post # 4
I think it’s worth a shot to talk to them, but if it doesn’t work, then just drop out. She punched you in the stomach? What a freak.
Post # 5
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
PUNCHED IN THE STOMACH?!?! I can’t even imagine something like that at a bachelorette party! If I were you I’d run for the hills. No-one deserves to be treated like that. And that is just ridiculous of the bride to let that happen and still expect you and the Maid/Matron of Honor to be in the wedding party. If you drop out of the wedding, the bride may want nothing to do with you in the future. Is this a friendship you’re prepared to walk away from? If so, I say do it!
Post # 6
Im sorry, PUNCHED?!! Did you write Punched? Omg, did you knock her the EFF out?
Post # 7
in most cases, i would say suck it up a bit even if its not tht fun, and i would say talk to the bride about finances if you feel you are spending too much. because really you should only be required to get a dress. shoes, hair, makeup, hotels, all that should be optional unless the bride pays.
BUT my mouth dropped open about the Maid/Matron of Honor punching you!!!!!! that is so unbelievably unacceptable, there are no words to describe! and if i were the bride, i would be inclined to fire the MOH! so ya, i think saying you have an “excuse” to drop out is putting it mildly!
Post # 8
@CaliGirl4: Weddings tend to bring out the drama in everyone. If it’s just the other girls you are having an issue I wouldn’t drop out at this point.
Shockingly, everyone usually gets along come the wedding day. I was a Maid/Matron of Honor and had an issue with one of the bridesmaids or rather she had an issue with me, but if you look at the photos from the wedding we look like best friends.
Explain to the bride that you feel uncomfortable spending the night with the other girls and that you’ll just join her in the morning and how excited you are to share her day with her!
Post # 9
If you were punched, I would let the bride know and drop out. If the bride seems supportive and lays down the law, I would stick with it for her sake.
Post # 10
Absolutely you can drop out.
Post # 11
- Wedding: September 2011 - Franciscan Gardens
Omigoodness! I would have dropped out immediately after the punch! Write a nice note to the bride and say that you love her as a friend but that after the bachelorette party, you no longer feel that your are welcome in the bridal party and that you dont’ feel that you can be around the maid of honor without feeling threatened. Tell her that you would still love to attend the wedding but don’t feel that you can continue on in the bridal party. If she doesn’t understand, then she’s not a very good friend.
Post # 12
You are a bigger person than me if you even want to talk to her about it. I would file for assault and stop returning phone calls.
Dropping out will probably affect your friendship with the bride, but staying in and resenting her for it will too. I agree with frugalfiance.
Post # 13
@Miss. Flutterby: i have to disagree. i dont think that anyone should have to put themselves in a situation where they are in close contact with someone who punched them. the bride should be happy if you decide to attend her wedding as a guest at this point.
Post # 14
Honestly I would talk to the Bride first about your feelings and go from there. Let her know you are uncomfortable due to what happened at the bach party.
Post # 15
Did you punch her back? Seriously what a fricken Bizzo! I would just drop out. Especially if the bride seems to care about you so little.
Post # 16
I didn’t punch her back. I was just shocked so there was no time to think about what was even happening.
And I considered talking to the bride about everything, but she is one of those girls who never will take a stance or have an opinion on anything. She will act sorry for herself that her bridesmaids can’t seem to get along. sigh.