Post # 1
Okay, let me just first say that I am the kind of person who plans things WAY WAY WAY in advance (example: I am at least 15-20 minutes early for doctor’s appointments, I bought my wedding dress almost a year and a half before my wedding, etc).
Anyway, my best friend is getting married in 5 months. She has 5 other BMs besides myself, and we have not even gone BM dress shopping and the bride herself has not even mentioned it.
The MOH (who is also married) sent out an email to all of us BMs and the MOB trying to coordinate dress shopping and planning the bridal shower, but the responses were vague and uninterested. Basically every email is someone saying why 1 date or another DOESN’T work for them.
The only thing I THOUGHT we had all agreed on was the date of the shower. But just the other day, one of the BMs let us know that she requested off work for that date and it got denied. Like … WTF??? How does a boss deny a request 3 months in advance for your future SIL’s bridal shower???? And what the hell are we supposed to do about this? I’m pretty sure the MOB already booked the hall for that date since the bride’s dad is the chief of the volunteer firefighters (who own/maintain the hall). Like ….. what is the proper etiquette in this situation???
I have TRIED half a dozen times to email/call/text these girls (including the bride and her mom) to try and get things situated but we’re just farther from answers/plans than we were 6 months ago. I know it’s not my wedding and I am probably more anxious than I should be, but the bride is my best friend and I want things to be nice and easy and stress free for her BUT. NO ONE. IS. HELPING.
WTF am I supposed to do?????
Post # 2
- Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN
Stace126: It sounds like the bride really does not care. Unfortunately, it also sounds like the one bridesmaid is going to have to just miss the shower.
I would try to get with the bride and MOH and say that dates need to be pinned down for things like dress shopping. Whoever can not make it will be on their own to get their dress.
Post # 3
Life will go on if one bridesmaid has to miss the shower. Many people work in jobs where there is a limit to the number of people who can be off on any given day or shift. If someone already has that day off, the BM is out of luck.
As far as dress shopping is concerned, again, not everyone will always be able to go on any given day. In consultation with the MOH pick the date that most people can go (preferably a date that the BM who has to work on the date of the shower can come), and email the information to anyone who misses the shopping trip.
Post # 4
Stace126: I’m pretty type-A and I find this helps, repeated over and over: “Not. My. Problem.”
Also, bosses deny vacation all the time for a number of reasons. She will be missed. Unless she’s willing to change jobs, it’s just way it goes sometimes.
In terms of dress shopping, usually the bride tells the bridal party what to buy and they buy it, get it altered and wear it to the wedding. If this isn’t happening here, maybe it’s time for a heart to heart with the bride.
Post # 5
Stace126: Honestly just calm down :). I was that kind of bride and everything worked out perfectly, if I had had a BM stressing out about it that would make me annoyed more than anything else.
People are busy and I didnt expect them all to drop everything to come dress shopping, besides it wont take 5 months to find a dress!<br /><br />As for the shower, I’ve had a boss deny leave in a similar time frame, it happens. She will be missed but I’m sure it’ll be a good day anyway.
I think you just need to take a step back and trust that the bride and MOH are able to organise it.
Post # 6
Stace126: Deep breath! I understand how you feel because I’m totally that personality too. I’ve had my wedding dress since a week after we got engaged! I’m THAT bride and I will be THAT bridesmaid. However…not everyone is like us. Chat with the bride about the dress thing because that is important and it can take up to 3 months for a dress to come in (seriously, we ordered BM dresses the last week in December and they didn’t come in until the first week of April). But things like the extra parties: showers, bachelorette, etc., as long as the bride is there and she has a few close friends and family to help her celebrate, that’s what matters. Not everyone has to be there to make it a good time.
Long story short: Don’t kill yourself trying to make this perfect. It doesn’t sound like the bride cares all that much if everything is perfect and in order. Just let it be or you’ll make yourself crazy.
Post # 7
I agree with ren89. Let everything go, except for the dress isssue. My sister’s dress took three months and alterations took something like two weeks. I guess it depends on where you go…my sis went to Alfred Angelo. My mom got her dress at David’s Bridal and went home with it the day she bought it.
I’m a lot like you, I like planning and getting things done early. I’m also early for doctor appointments and was always early for work when I worked for others. But sometimes, like a pp said, it’s not your problem!