I'm a bridesmaid for a procrastinating bride/other BMs

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

Stace126:  It sounds like the bride really does not care. Unfortunately, it also sounds like the one bridesmaid is going to have to just miss the shower.

I would try to get with the bride and MOH and say that dates need to be pinned down for things like dress shopping. Whoever can not make it will be on their own to get their dress.

Post # 3
42117 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Life will go on if one bridesmaid has to miss the shower. Many people work in jobs where there is a limit to the number of people who can be off on any given day or shift. If someone already has that day off, the BM is out of luck.

As far as dress shopping is concerned, again, not everyone will always be able to go on any given day. In consultation with the MOH pick the date that most people can go (preferably a date that the BM who has to work on the date of the shower can come), and email the information to anyone who misses the shopping trip.

Post # 4
2894 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Stace126: I’m pretty type-A and I find this helps, repeated over and over: “Not. My. Problem.”

Also, bosses deny vacation all the time for a number of reasons. She will be missed. Unless she’s willing to change jobs, it’s just way it goes sometimes. 

In terms of dress shopping, usually the bride tells the bridal party what to buy and they buy it, get it altered and wear it to the wedding. If this isn’t happening here, maybe it’s time for a heart to heart with the bride. 

Post # 5
441 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Stace126:  Honestly just calm down :). I was that kind of bride and everything worked out perfectly, if I had had a BM stressing out about it that would make me annoyed more than anything else.

People are busy and I didnt expect them all to drop everything to come dress shopping, besides it wont take 5 months to find a dress!<br /><br />As for the shower, I’ve had a boss deny leave in a similar time frame, it happens. She will be missed but I’m sure it’ll be a good day anyway. 

I think you just need to take a step back and trust that the bride and MOH are able to organise it. 

Post # 6
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June, 2014

Stace126:  Deep breath! I understand how you feel because I’m totally that personality too. I’ve had my wedding dress since a week after we got engaged! I’m THAT bride and I will be THAT bridesmaid. However…not everyone is like us. Chat with the bride about the dress thing because that is important and it can take up to 3 months for a dress to come in (seriously, we ordered BM dresses the last week in December and they didn’t come in until the first week of April). But things like the extra parties: showers, bachelorette, etc., as long as the bride is there and she has a few close friends and family to help her celebrate, that’s what matters. Not everyone has to be there to make it a good time.

Long story short: Don’t kill yourself trying to make this perfect. It doesn’t sound like the bride cares all that much if everything is perfect and in order. Just let it be or you’ll make yourself crazy. 

Post # 7
2139 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree with ren89. Let everything go, except for the dress isssue. My sister’s dress took three months and alterations took something like two weeks. I guess it depends on where you go…my sis went to Alfred Angelo. My mom got her dress at David’s Bridal and went home with it the day she bought it.

I’m a lot like you, I like planning and getting things done early. I’m also early for doctor appointments and was always early for work when I worked for others. But sometimes, like a pp said, it’s not your problem!

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