Post # 1
I know I should get over things but I can’t….I was married last October and I asked a friend of mine and my husband to be in my wedding. We met her right when me and my husband started dating and us couples use to always go and do things together….she was a big part of mine and my husbands first year together and it’s why I asked her to be a BM. Definitly alot of meaning to me why I asked her BUT…She got engaged a couple of months before my wedding and she said to me ” I guess I need to return the favor and you can be in my wedding” then she asked me by FB if I would be a bridesmaid. Ok, I can get over that but I’m still having a hard time excepting that she really wants me in her wedding?? Now, her bachelorette party is coming up and I can’t afford to go because we are paying so much for plane tickets and hotel for her wedding plue dress, shoes and my husband is in the wedding as well as a groomsman and he will have to pay for his tux… I just don’t know what to do?? I’m apart of the wedding but in some sense I don’t feel apart of it and I really don’t want go to her bacherlorette weekend. How do I break the news and how do I stop feeling so angry everytime I think about how she asked me to be in her wedding???
Post # 3
@sweetpea2011: I think you should call her and not rely on email or Facebook or text to get your sentiments across. Let her know gently that you really would like to be a part of the bachelorette weekend but in light of other expenses you just can’t manage the cost. Tell her that you care about her and really want to do what you can despite the distance and that you can’t wait to support her on the wedding day itself, too. I think if she hears your voice and your tone she’ll understand your sincerity. As for feeling sad about the way she asked you, I think you should move on from that. She asked you when she could have asked anyone else in the world and even though it was by Facebook, she still made a point to reach out to you. Let that part roll off your back. Good luck!
Post # 4
Look just be honest with her about the financial stuff. Just because she asked you weirdly you shouldn’t feel left out. People get awkward about these things – maybe she thought it’d come out better. She may not even know you feel weird about things. If it were me I’d just truck along and appologize you can’t make it to the bachlorette and send a mini gift w/a friend or cash for 1 drink or give her a call that night to say hi. Just show up for her wedding, be happy for her on her big day and enjoy the party.
Post # 6
Rgeddy, Thank you for your response. I was thinking the same thing….send her a card and money and tell her the first round is on me.