Post # 1
This weekend: I graduated from grad school and then…… we found the uncut gemstone for my engagement ring!!!!!!! I just can’t believe I am saying this! After almost 6.5 years together, we’re able to have a discussion about my ring size, what cut I want for the currently rough stone (aquamarine, gorgeous!), and what settings I would like. I am in such shock! All I have to do now is figure out what I like, have him cut it, wait for him to find a setting, and then he’ll be proposing pretty quickly since we want to move in together in July and we don’t want to until we’re engaged!
WHAT?!!?!?!? Is this really my life?!?!
So I decided to coin a term, former WF?B since we have been dating so long that at one point I really thought I might be waiting forever. I still sympathize so much with the current WF?Bs since I felt that way for quie a few years and went through countless terrible discussions about marriage. They typically ended in me crying and my SO saying how he just can’t whisper sweet nothings about being together forever when so much could happen (ugh!). My new waiting stage has just not sunk in and I don’t know if it will until I’m actually engaged. Whoa, wait, I’ll actually be engaged in the next couple months!?!!?!? WHAT!?!?!? Ok, see? I’m still very close to a WF?B.
Let’s hear it from the other formerly WF?Bs as well as the current WF?Bs – what do you all think of the term I’ve coined?
Post # 3
I’m definitely a current WF?B. We’ll be hitting 7 years in June. Sigh.
The good news is though that I can tell it’s coming now. I think a year ago I was still thinking: “is it ever going to happen? should I leave?” But now we’re talking about houses and moving for jobs, etc. and it’s just obvious that we’re it for each other. That makes waiting a little easier. (It doesn’t fix it as I still DO want to get married and I’m having issues feeling like he is prioritizing other things before me all the time–namely his job. Which yes, is important, but why does it always beat out our relationship when he’s focusing on something? 🙂
Post # 4
I love this! I’m not sure if I am a current or former WF?B. I’ve got a little over 6 years here and on our 6 year anniversery he surprised me by taking me ring shopping! (he said he would go with me whenever I wanted but I always felt silly brining up that we should go) Does this make me former?? I totally still feel like I am a WF?B. Because I feel like I am going to be waiting forever haha.
Glad I’m not the only WF?B out there
Post # 5
@UmakeURownLUCK: I think you’re a former WF?B because he took you ring shopping!! When I was a WF?B he would’ve rather eaten his own arm off rather than look at rings “because it might get your hopes up” if we were to do anything that people on their way to engagement do. For some reason he had a real thing against doing or saying anything that might make something seem more real or imminent just in case it didn’t work out that way.
@Taylor4: I totally know what you mean; I used to always feel like other stuff was more important than progressing our relationship. I still feel that way sometimes but try to tell myself that our relationship is so strong that it can be on the “backburner” for a bit and survive so that it’s actually a compliment that he CAN focus on something else. Slightly delusional? Yes, but very helpful.
Post # 6
I’m defineitly a WF?B – been with BF twice as long as most ladies on here. I’m waiting to get through the next two hellaciously busy months before seeing where we stand after our last ‘talk’ in September. Or, maybe my getting HIM a ring (I’m not proposing to him, but he’d been wanting this Green Lantern sterling silver for a while) for our anniversary this month might prompt the dicussion, or at least let me tell him a bit about my preference and size so he won’t have that excuse hovering around anymore. I don’t know. Yesterday was a bad waiting day. Today is a bleh waiting day.
Post # 7
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
I’m a former waiting forever bee too! After 5 years together, he’s achieved what he’s wanted to and he’s READY. Now it’s just saving up for a ring (we are being incredibly frugal because we both want it so bad by this point) and we’ll be engaged within the next couple of months! Sooo excited!!
Post # 8
Today was an awful waiting day. Tomorrow… hopefully better….! I wish you the best!
Post # 9
Love the term and think it quite an apt one to describe the situation of a number of ladies on this board, but I don’t think I qualify for it myself. Mine has always planned on getting married at some point and been willing to talk about it. That said, our ideas on timing vary… He doesn’t really work backwards (i.e. I want at least one kid by 35, to be married at least a year before getting pregnant and to be engaged a year so that means…I need to get engaged this summer at the latest and hope for pregnancy on first try, which isn’t going to happen) nor does it occur to him you need any time to plan a wedding, buy a ring, etc.
Post # 10
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
It also helps to keep yourself really busy 🙂
Post # 11
I think I’m a recently graduated WF?B. Love the term!! It’s frustrating when you feel like you’re in the minority because you and your SO haven’t discussed the M word or haven’t talked about timing.
About a month ago we actually had the talk and he even talked about the food at the wedding, a date, and said “yes, that’s where I see this going.”
We’ve been dating 2 years and 7 (almost 8) months. Not sure that’s in the same league as some of the other waiting times on this thread but hey, I’m an old lady. I can’t wait 6-10 yearsl. LMAO
Post # 12
I love this term. There are such a range of waiting bees here- from those who are struggling through marriage discussions with their SO, to those who know their guy has the ring hidden and are just waiting for him to whip it out any day now. I’m one of those former WF?Bs, now just patiently yet excitedly waiting for the proposal. Maybe we need a name that we can call ourselves once we reach that phase, like Excitedly Waiting Bees (EWB) or something positive like that.
Post # 13
I am a WF?B. It has been a bad month of waiting.
Honest to god, some days I feel like Jennifer Aniston’s character in He’s Just Not That Into You. Granted, it’s only been a little over 4 years, but we already live like we’re married and we are very devoted and “settled”. There’s just the Marriage thing that’s missing. He says he wants to marry me but he’s not ready. WTF. I let it ALL out there last month. He knows how I feel. Since he claims finances as excuse, (He said he wants to get me something decent…that there’s no way in hell his fiance is going to walk around with some half-assed ring) he’s got till the the lease is up in April before I create some space between us. He’s 36, he’s got a decent job, we have a great apartment…by April when he’s saved money, there’s no reason for him to not be ready for marriage unless he just doesn’t want to. Life is too short for me to spend any more time with someone who doesn’t want the same things as me.
Sorry for the bitterness….I’ve been very loving, fun, and patient to him since the conversation last month and needed somewhere to air out my frustration so I don’t do it on him.