Post # 1
so i have been surfing posts for a while now and thought it was time to say hi and get some advice from others in my situation. here it is………. my partner and i have been together for 12 1/2 years and i am officially sick of waiting….. am i the longest( or stupidest) waiter???? we have a home and two small children also. he seems to get annoyed or changes the subject when i mention it and its eating me up inside. im starting to resent him more every day. any help or advice would be awesome…………
Post # 3
@colley88: You’re not stupid! Does he want to get married? Does he know you want to? I think after 12 years you should be able to have a frank, open conversation about it. If he tries to change the subject, well, try not to let him. It doesn’t need to be a long conversation, but it does need to be a serious one. Be prepared that he might not want to get married, is that okay?
Post # 4
My sister-in-law (she’s not really) has been with my brother for 20 years. They have been together since high school, and they still aren’t married. He fought it for a long time, but now they both want to get married… It’s just life has now gotten in the way bc they have three kids..
Make sure your bf wants to marry you. If he doesn’t want to do it, then you have to decide if you’re okay with that or not. If marriage is important to you, you deserve to have someone who wants that with you.
Post # 5
ok, i dont want to sound mean but how do you go 12.5 years without knowing if you two were on the same page about life goals? in the first couple of years was there ever talk in general about marriage happening? i just cant imagine waiting that long. i dont think you are stupid, but maybe somewhere along the line mistakes couldve been in made/miscommunication.
Post # 6
thanks everyone, we have discussed it over the years and it seemed earlier on in the relationship it was important to him and was a definate if we had children, our oldest son was 6 in jan! go figure! he knows its very important to me and seems to do everything possible now to avoid the subject and accuses me of being obsessed about it.
Post # 7
wow, well it sounds like he got comfortable with the married life without having to be married, and is fine with the way things are.
it kinda seems like he led you on under false pretenses with the marriage talk in the early stages which is not good if he cant even have a talk about it now after 12 years and 2 kids together 🙁
would you be content with living this way forever with him? or do you have a timeline in mind? its kinda tricky when kids are involved, but if resentment is setting in you have to think about your happiness and peace of mind in this situation.
i dont know if you are familiar with mr bees plan here (this really should be a sticky in this section if the powers that be see this) you should read his back up plan, it really helped me during my wait. good luck to you.