I'm a psycho and want to buy a dress before I'm engaged.

posted 2 years ago in Dress
Post # 2
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

You aren’t crazy. Would I do it? Nope, but that doesn’t mean you are crazy.

Post # 3
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m not saying you are crazy, but it is a bit weird and people don’t recommend it for all sorts of reasons.

a) You don’t even have a venue or date yet, and dress requirements can change a lot according to the formality of the venue or the likely weather. A heavy ballgown on a hot beach can be tricky, just as a rustic shift probably isn’t the greatest for a winter mansion wedding.

b) It’s a hugely expensive purchase and people change their minds about wedding dresses all the time. There’s even a name for it – ‘dress regret’. I generally wouldn’t recommend buying a dress more than a year in advance of the wedding.

c) If you did happen to break up, how are you going to feel having a wedding dress sitting in your closet for the next few years? How are future dates going to feel?

d) You could scare the hell out of your boyfriend if he isn’t actually planning on proposing yet. Have you even talked about buying a dress with him?

For these reasons, I think you are almost certainly better off waiting.

Post # 4
9 posts

IMO it’s better to wait so that you won’t be spending $$$ in alterations. Sadly, my alterations were $400 due to my weight loss. I should have waited but c’est la vie

Post # 5
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Dresses stay on the racks for a long time.  I’d wait until you book your venue and pick a date. You never know if your dream dress will work.  But, for the record, I love that you know that you’re crazy. I’m fully aware that I’m insane too.

Post # 6
561 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Have you talked about getting engaged?

My fiance and I had been talking about marriage, and possibly getting married this summer so in September when a friend told me about a sample sale I asked him if he thought it’d be weird if I went and checked it out. He said not at all, and then I said now what if I find the perfect dress? Would it be weird if I bought it? And he said nope! So I went, bought my dress and later on found out he had bought my ring literally a week before that haha. I’d find out what your boyfriend thinks, his reaction will give you a good indication 🙂

Post # 7
297 posts
Helper bee

I am so soo with you!!! Where did you find the dress? In a bridal salon? Preowned while browsing the internet? Have you actually tried it on compared to other dresses? Is it an 2014 dress? If yes you might just wait until he does propose and buy it later this year and maybe even get some discount. I have known my dress for 5 years before I purchased it (and finally was able to do so because dress got a looot cheaper over time). Popular styles stay around a long time, so maybe you don’t have to buy it now. 

Post # 8
3349 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Not a good idea.

I never advise counting chickens before they have hatched. Sorry for being blunt.

Post # 9
2252 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Big time jinx. Besides, the feeling of going into a bridal store and actually being a bride is pretty amazing. Why not wait a few months if you know he is going to propose anyway? 


Post # 10
240 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - saint patricks parish

Your not crazy I did that myself and a year later were engaged and the wedding is next month, trust your instincts but don’t let him see the dress.

Post # 11
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Is there any way that you can wait?  Like, will the dress still be available after he proposes?  Maybe you can go to the shop and get some more informatin before making your purchase.

Post # 12
419 posts
Helper bee

I’m going to go ahead and agree with your gut that it’s crazy to buy the dress now. For one- there are a ton of great dresses out there. You will certainly find ‘the one’ over and over till you stop looking. You also need to figure out venue, season, yada yada before you pick a dress. Also I can’t even imagine if your BF found it. You’d look crazy. 

Post # 13
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

It depends on the situation. I did buy my dress BEFORE we were engaged. DH and I had been discussing marriage, I knew he had the ring, it was just a matter of time before we got engaged. I went to a sample sale and got my dress half off. No dress regret here, and we got engaged just days later!

Post # 14
5767 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

Doesn’t matter if a bunch of women on the Internet don’t find this crazy. A better question is “will your boyfriend think you’re crazy?” And since men in general don’t care as much about wedding details and planning as women do, I’m going to be the will fund you crazy for buying a wedding dress before you’re engaged.

Post # 15
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I wouldn’t do it. Proposing soon may mean next week or 8 months from now…

Also, like I don’t believe in soul mates, I don’t believe there is only 1 dress in existance for each girl- its all in circumstances and timing. What if you suddenly want a beach wedding and your “dream dress” doesn’t work with that? What I wanted 2 years ago isn’t what I want now at all…. so what I want for my wedding after my 2 year engagement may not be what I want right now, so I’m waiting at least 8-9 months 

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