- 6 years ago
I’m using my alter ego because my family would flip if they ever found out I was posting this story online.
My brother is not a good person. He was both verbally and physically abusive to me for several years until I got out of the house. He sent me to the emergency room on multiple occasions. Over the years, he’s stolen a lot of money from my parents. He spent most of it on drugs. My parents weren’t the only people he stole from, either. He shoplifted and broke into neighbors’ garages to find things he could sell for drug money. He’s done time in jail for both drugs and theft. He’s a master manipulator, and he’s caused a lot of hurt in my family.
A couple years ago, after a particularly bad drug stint that almost sent him to jail for the next couple of decades and also left him thinking he had contracted HIV, he decided to change. He tells us he’s been sober for about eighteen months now, but there’s no real way to know. He has lied about so many things. He has shown some improvements, though. He finally went and got his GED. He also went back to my parents’ home state to face the consequences of his having run across the country three years previous, thus breaking his parole there. He’s also taking a few community college classes, and he tells us he’s on the hunt for a real job. We just don’t ever know if we can trust him, though.
Well, as of yesterday, he’s $65,000.00 richer because he won a lawsuit against one of the rehab places my parents sent him to several years ago. It turned out that there was some really bad stuff going on there, and the patients were being abused. It’s completely legitimate that he won the suit, and the legal system was correct to award him the money. He texted me last night to brag about the money. He says he’s going to pay off his debt with it, and then our dad is going to help him invest the rest of it.
And this is where I turn into a terrible person. You see, I’m quite jealous of my brother’s sudden fortune, and I don’t think he deserves it. He’s spent most of his life shitting all over everyone who’s ever cared about him or tried to help him. He’s broken tons of laws. He turned my life into a living hell. He’s contributed very little to society. He’s not a good person. Why the heck would karma give him enough money, then, to pay off all his debts and then have a nice nest egg left over? Why would he get that when I don’t?
I’ve been a fairly good person. I worked hard in school, I survived my brother’s abuse and have worked very hard to move past it, I’ve been a law-abiding citizen, I’ve contributed useful things to society as a whole, and I haven’t ruined anyone’s life by being a total asshole. I have some debts I’d like to pay off, and I could certainly use the money left over for a good purpose. DH and I could buy a house with that money. We would be set up to begin the rest of our life together completely free of debt and without having to worry a ton about the future.
I know I’m a terrible person for being so jealous of my brother. Jealousy is a sin, and anyway, like I said, the lawsuit was legitimate, and he definitely should have won the money. I’m just upset that he’s getting so much good after he had to deal with two months of abuse, but I dealt with his abuse for YEARS, and I don’t have a penny to show for it.
My life is pretty decent otherwise. I have a husband who loves me, a steady job, a squeaky clean past with a sparkling academic record, and I wouldn’t trade what I’ve got right now for my brother’s life, not even for $65 million. I’m just a terrible person and a jealous bitch, that’s all.
Thanks for letting me rant.