(Closed) I’m About the Have A Meltdown (LONG)

posted 8 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
1075 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yikes!  It really sounds like to me that the planner is giving you the run-a-round just so your money stays in the Bahamas.  I’ve dealt in situations not quite like yours, but where the result would have been really simple except the third party would not cooperate, told me to this and this and this, when in actuallity it could have been simple. 

I don’t think you have to do that in person.  My brother got married in Mexico last year and brought a friend of his to do the photographs.  He didn’t really tell me the details, but all I know is that my brother never went to Mexico to put the request in.

Post # 4
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Girl, I’d be on the phone with the resort telling them that they are on the verge of losing your business and the business of your guests because of the actions of their IC wedding planner and her lack of flexibility or desire to do her job. they told you she was the one to contact, they’re responsible for what she does–if they allowed other planners, they WOULDN’T then be responsible!

Good luck!

Post # 5
1106 posts
Bumble bee

I dont think you have to hand them in, in person either. Honestly I would call the embassy back and tell them your situation. Let them know your planner refuses to help you do this and ask if there is any other way you can do this on your own. I would also call back the planner and tell her that you are spending all this money with her that either she does this or youll do it yourself. I would call the hotel and explain you want to do this on your own. Why spend all this money with her if she is going to do what you can do on your own?

Post # 6
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t know the specific rules but I’m curious why your photographer needs a special visa. I would assume that since he’s a US citizen he can just use his passport-sounds to me like your planner wants you to use a photographer down there and is going to make it difficult for you if you choose not to. Good luck and I agree with the suggestion to contact the hotel and tell them you don’t want to work with their planner and you’ll be taking your business elsewhere if they don’t do whatever.

Post # 8
348 posts
Helper bee

Yes, call back the embassy.  Even if you have to hand them in in person (which strikes me as strange), you could probably do that at the embassy in the US rather than having to go the Bahamas.

Post # 9
1740 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i will have your photographer be in your wedding as a family member who is doing this for you as a favor… nobody needs to know you are paying him… but that is just me… 

you other option is to to take the advice of @lavoroflove… 

good luck

Post # 10
37 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010

YOou really need to call the resort also and complain about the lack of professionalism from this women.

Post # 11
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree that your wedding planner is not looking out for your best intrest or what you really want. Have you already hired her?

Post # 12
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Still have your photographer fly over from the US and then just lie to your planner and say that he’s your uncle/cousin/long lost brother etc.  

She’ll probably know you’re lying, but who cares? She hasn’t acted professionally toward you, so what does she expect.  You don’t deserve to be railroaded into picking some subpar photographer who is giving the planner kickbacks for business.

Post # 13
484 posts
Helper bee

I understand what you are going through, I had a similar experience with my destination wedding planner. She would give me 1 name for a vendor, no options, even if I said I didn’t like them, and I would have to contact them organize everything and she basically just showed up on the day. I feel like sometimes because destination brides are not there physically, destination wedding planners slack off. Or they assume we are not that fussed about our weddings so we don’t need as much attention. Either way it is not acceptable. I wish I had some advice for you, I was able to switch to another planner within the company I hired but it still wasn’t great. It’s sounds like if you get rid of your planner, you may lose your venue. In my experience, if I complained or went to a vendor without involving the planner (because she would never get back to me), the vendor didn’t go out of their way to help me. I actually would get semi-nasty emails back saying to go through my planner. I think it was a bit like, its a small island and they look after each other. If they lost 1 customer, it wasn’t a big deal because there were 10 more behind me.

With regards to the photographer, I think the idea of just saying he is family/friend, shooting the wedding as a gift is a good idea. Maybe contact the photographer you want and see if he has done a destination wedding before and what he suggests?

Post # 16
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so glad you figured this out. Honestly I would get on the phone with your planner and tell her you really don’t appreciate her unhelpfulness…I’m sure she’s going to be difficult with other issues as well, so you can try to minimize that by making it clear that she messed up and you’re not happy with her. 

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