- 4 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
FI’s aunt is a professional caterer. When we got engaged, FMIL said the aunt told her she will do our food as a wedding gift for us. I thought this was great and would save us a lot of money since we are basically paying for the wedding ourselves myself (FI hasn’t paid for anything so far and I think it’s because his mom is telling him it’s the bride and her family’s responsibility). My parents don’t have any money to help pay for anything (my mom has given me a couple hundred for some deposits, which is great) but FI’s parents are really well off and haven’t offered anything. However, since they are more traditional, they are paying for the rehearsal dinner which our venue is letting us have for free the night before.
The aunt (who lives 8 hours away) came in over Thanksgiving and her and FMIL came over to visit. Well the aunt randomly asks “So who’s doing the food?!” This whole time I thought SHE was doing our food! I had no idea what to say. So FMIL says “Oh they don’t know yet”….uhhhh excuse me? Turns out the aunt never said she would do our food, FMIL just assumed she would and told us that.
So when we found our new venue last week (our old venue fell through) for only $800 I was so happy. It’s at a golf plantation and they basically do everything for us. We all sat down and met with the owner and he brought up the food issue. FMIL said nothing about bringing in outside catering and just sat there and smiled when he was telling us the prices per plate.
So the venue is only $800, but with food, servers, alcohol & bartending for 5 hours, the food/spirits bill would be around $5,000! So with the $800 plus tax on top of that we are looking at $6,000. I was planning on only spending that much on the entire wedding! I did not have a food budget since I was told it was taken care of.
My mom called the owner yesterday and asked what the fee was to bring in our own food. He said it has to be from a licensed caterer, he needs to know how much food she’s bringing, how she will keep it hot, who will serve, etc etc before he gives us a new total.
I tell FI this information and said his mom needs to call the aunt (her SISTER) and see if she will even be willing do it (we would pay for the food supplies), and get all the information our venue needs. He said she will do it this morning. Well guess what? She didn’t call her. She told FI she thinks we should just pay our venue the $5,000 for their food.
What the actual fuck is going on. I’m on the verge of a panic attack/mental breakdown because we are having a Friday evening wedding so we can’t just serve appetizers (which would still cost around $2,000!!). I have no idea what to do now. I feel stuck and pissed off that we were lied to about catering being a gift.