Post # 1
I’m afraid he has no idea how to go about ordering/selecting a ring!
He probably doesn’t know that you don’t have to walk into the store with a debit card loaded with $4000 cash, or that you don’t just walk out with the one in the store when you’re done!
It makes me anxious to think that he doesn’t really know how long the process takes. Not that I’m expecting a ring soon, but wishful thinking!
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
He’ll learn. I can promise you my DH didn’t know how to order a ring, or even the first thing about jewelry when he decided he was going to propose. He surprised me, so his first step was to call his sister and ask her how it worked… Then he visited a few jewelers to start looking at rings, and asked them more questions. Finally he learned that telling them he was looking for an e-ring wasn’t the way to go, because when he did that all they showed him was diamond solitares, etc. (which is NOT my style) but he learned a lot about the different kinds of rings/metals/pricing and helped him build a do’s and don’ts list until he found the perfect one.
Have faith– he’ll figure it out! 🙂
Post # 4
@juliette.eliza: thanks for the encouragement!! Some days I feel like things like this are the things that are holding him up, like thinking he has to have that wad of cash when he walks in!
Post # 5
Hopefully he knows other guys who have bought e-rings and will turn to them for help. If not, he’ll see whats going on after he walks into a jewelry store for the first time.
Post # 6
WHY don’t you tell him straight out… that WHEN the time comes to look for a ring that you’d prefer that the two of you do it together ?
You would be surprised how many couples nowadays do this… lots of posts here on WBee
That is what Mr TTR and I did… and I ended up with exactly the type of ring I had hoped for… and he ended up with a ring purchase he was comfortable with… not to mention a Fiancee (me) who is thrilled
Mr TTR is a bit old-fashioned in his thinking… in that he always envisioned that he’d shop without me… but then I would have ended up no doubt with a Solitaire… because that is what Jewellery Stores sell primarily for E-Rings (infact, I’d go so far as to say most Jewellery Stores do prey on men looking for E-Rings and manipulate them into buying something they might not KNOW they ever wanted)
A Solitaire, would have been a BIG disappointment for me, because I clearly didn’t want a Solitaire, because I had one the first time round.
Which infact is HOW the whole E-Ring discussion began for us… I told him that I needed a ring that I LOVED… and I wanted something unique (and something that stirred no memories from my first marriage). So we agreed to shop together. And we are very happy that we did…
Because in the end, we did the legwork (and research) together, we KNOW that THE RING we have now is the right one for us. I love the setting… he loves the cost… and we BOTH are 100% sure of the value of it in regards to the 4Cs (5 if you count Certification, 6 if you count Conflict Free / Canadian Dimonds)
Hope this helps,
Oh, and in case you are wondering about Proposals in these situations. They either come BEFORE the ring is purchased (which is how my own happened)… or the guy puts the ring away, and proposes later on (in his own way / style). The WAITING BOARD here on WBee is filled with girls saying “I know he has the ring… I’m just waiting for the Proposal”
Post # 7
If you know exacly what you want, you could either tell him or confide in a friend. When the subject of rings come up (either by you or him) say “Oh how funny we’re talking about this. Betty and I were talking one day and I told her I know the exact one I want”. That way if he wants to keep you directly out of it he can just go talk to your friend.
Post # 8
He knows exactly what I want! It’s the process I’m worried about.
Post # 9
@MissOtter: my DH has zero taste in jewelry, and knew that I’m very fussy about such things … so he got me to go ring shopping. I picked out a selection of settings/engagement bands at a few stores and put the selections under his name at the stores so all he had to do was tell them who he was and they would bring out what I had picked out.
All he had to do was pick the diamond, which the jeweler helps with anyway. You could do something like that?
Post # 10
@strawbs: He knows all the “specs” for my ideal ring, size, cut, etc. including who to talk to if her forgets.
He just doesn’t know about the process of buying jewelry! I am afraid he won’t know that he pay in installments, or have to wait awhile before it’s delivered, things like that. I’m afraid he’s not being proactive enough.
Not that I was speculating, but say he wanted to propose at Halloween (he’s not), he should have already kind of set things in motion to get the ring before then. You know? He doesn’t know that getting a ring back in the right size takes time, and he can’t just pick one up at the store tomorrow.
The money is my primary concern, as he might be putting off purchaing a ring until he has every penny that he wants to spend on it.
Post # 11
@MissOtter: I wouldn’t worry! I’m sure your SO will have some help from friends/siblibgs/coworkers/etc to shop for a ring. My DH had no clue about ring shopping but is now a pro (he knows the 4 Cs and the types of settings!); he has been offering to help his friends ring shop for their gfs.
I didn’t know the DH was ring shopping; the proposal was a complete surprise except my sister blabbed that he asked her about rings.
This must be so exciting for you!
Post # 12
@MissOtter: well, he’s your FI and he’s a man isn’t he? TRUST him. if you don’t want to flat out pick out your ring, then quit worrying about whether he’ll get it done the right way.