(Closed) i'm afraid to move into our house : (

posted 5 years ago in Home
Post # 3
3277 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s normal to feel anxious, there’s a lot of change, especially close to the wedding. We’re moving in in about 3 weeks, I’m excited, I figure the other stuff will just be figured out as we go and we’ll do what works at the time. Just relax, focus on all the fun stuff like decorating and the wedding, you’ll figure the other stuff. FH understand there will be lots of nights of frozen pizza and hamburger helper the first year lol

Post # 4
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Totally normal to feel the way you are feeling!! You have a lot going on, it wouldn’t be normal if you weren’t anxious about everything that’s coming up.  You’ll be fine in your new house and you’ll get into the swing of things after you’ve been in it for a couple weeks.  You’ll have so much fun decorating and organizing the house.  Just remember to take it one day at a time, don’t get too overwhelmed.  Us Sept brides need to try to relax this summer to look our best for our big day!!

PS:  You’ll get better at cooking, it takes time!  If not, there’s always the frozen aisle and/or take out!

Post # 5
307 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I think that’s totally normal!  That’s a lot of change in an itty bitty amount of time.


Maybe have someone come over to bless the house?  That’s what I’m planning to do whenever I get a new place.


Also, Chef John on Youtube has made cooking a lot easier for me.  I used to make just lentil soup and fried rice in rotation LOL.  He’s helped put a little variety in my food!  If you like Italian, his pasta carbonara recipe is awesome!  So easy to make.  And it has baconnnnn.




Post # 6
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

i would…

– buy night lights – it’s not wierd πŸ™‚ 

– familiarize yourself with your house in the day time

– invite some girlfriends over for a sleep over one of the first nights! 


Post # 7
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Totally normal!  As far as moving your stuff goes, do it little by little – helped me, at least.  I moved the stuff that I needed and as I go visit my parents, I’ll load my car up with things that are still there (keepsakes that are boxed up, wall decor, etc.).  It has helped make the moving process less overwhelming for me.  At this point, I’m mostly moved in, but there are still a handful of things that I still need to bring over.  As for the budget stuff, Darling Husband and I sat kinda made a date night out of nailing down that stuff.  We cooked ourselves dinner, put on some music and sat down and itemized all of our expenses.  I was kinda scared to do it bc I was afraid some of my debt (student loans, car payment, etc.) would upset him, but once we did it and saw that we would still be living well below our means, it was a huge weight off my shoulders.  Wedding expenses definitely make it a little more stressful, but you’re almost done with that stressor, so just deal with those as they come – it will all work out πŸ™‚  Transferring banks and all that really isn’t as difficult as you may think.  We did ours in a 15-20 minute sit down with someone at our bank.  As for being afraid, I agree with PP about night lights, or keep the TV on/watch a movie as you go to sleep.  Do you have a dog?  Our boxers definitely make me feel more at ease when Darling Husband isn’t here πŸ™‚  And I am a terrible cook, also haha!  I’ve been trying to research easy recipes and adding a new one each week.  Your Fiance loves you and if you don’t get it exactly right, I’m sure he’ll appreciate the sheer fact that you tried.  But you’re going to be just fine!  Before you know it, you’ll be in a routine and look back and wonder why you were so stressed out πŸ˜‰  Just try to make it as fun as you can!

Post # 8
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

There is enough stress when it comes to planning a wedding, but adding moving in together stress, and I totally understand your anxiety! Fi and I recently combined our finances (we’ve been living together for years) and that is still stressful! So I can’t even imagine moving in together. 

Just take it one step at a time, and don’t sweat the small stuff. 

Post # 9
491 posts
Helper bee

@peonyinlove:  + 1 to nighlights. I don’t have any in the bedroom, but have one in the hall towards the bathroom and one in the bathroom. Scentsy type things are nice because they give light and a nice smell. 

As for cooking, other bees have given some good ideas. I find that casseroles are a pretty good place to start. Because they are usually pretty moist, it’s hard to burn them. Stuff like mac and chees and tuna noodle casserole only involve a handful of ingredients and are hard to mess up. Also, consider getting a crockpot, you literally dump stuff in, turn a dial and set a timer. 

Also, I’m in an LDR and find that having something else alive in the house makes it a little less lonely. For now, I just have plants and a betta fish, but its enough to feel like something depends on you and gives you something to focus on. And, even if it sounds crazy, I’ve talked to both the fish and the plants before haha   This summer, I’m getting a puppy, so at least talking will seem a little less crazy. 


I think it’s totally normal to be anxious, maybe when you start to feel nervous you can try to force yourself to think about the awesome things that come with being a home owner.  You don’t need to worry about noise, you get way more privacy, and you can decorate exactly how you want to! 

Post # 10
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It’s normal. I was nervous about moving in my house and I’d been living on my own for two years already. I think it had a lot to do with the fact it was MY house, one that I bought myself, and I wasn’t living in a tiny apartment or mobile home anymore. FH and I were moving in together, I was going to be alone a lot most of the night in a city I wasn’t familiar with… So yes, completely normal feelings! Plus, you’re getting married soon, so that’s a lot happening in a small amount of time. 

Post # 11
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@CoCoCourtney:  + 10000000 to a crockpot. literally the easiest thing on the planet, and you can make chicken, soups, stews, pulled pork, chili – the list goes on!

Post # 12
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is one reason why I think it is really important for people to live outside their parent’s house before marriage. I think it puts all that extra anxiety onto the beginning of the marriage instead of letting you work it out on your own, and both start on an experienced foot.

Post # 13
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Stace126:  Normal normal normal πŸ™‚ At like 20 I found myself room mateless and living in another city. I was shyte scared most of the time because I was so far from my family and friends – and just the prospect of making new friends while managing a rental property frightened me.


Getting mates over regularly helped me a lot. Start a book club or something so that you have a valid reason to have the girls come over every week or so. Adopt a dog if you don’t have one! Sounds silly but my cat sits next to me when I bath every evening, and it totally takes the edge off feeling lonely.

Go to a second hand book store and buy a cook book or two. Cooking is scary at first but fun when you get into it!


Good luck, I totally relate but you’ll be fine.

Post # 14
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Lol, I am over 50, and still don’t like nights alone !!

And YES I attribute it to the fact that I never really had that stage in my life (well not in a meaningful way) … went from my Parents TO College / Uni Dorm TO Back Home while working my first Post-Uni Job TO being Engaged and Moving in with my Hubby-2B

And lived that way (married) for over 20 years.

Then POW… I was seperated & divorced.  And living on my own.  I have to admit I hated it.

Getting a home alarm helped a lot… the firm came and did the wiring, and I paid a monthly monitoring fee.  It most definitely gave me more sense of a peace of mind.  I knew that for example coming home alone, that the house was secure… when I turned the key and heard the beep-beep-beep go off waiting for me to enter the code into the keypad.  And the same when I set it once inside to keep watch over me while I was there.

Didn’t make the “sleeping alone” anxiety go away (I still hugged a pillow, and cuddled with my pet)… but it did mean that I knew I was essentially safe.

So I ADJUSTED to being on my own.  It wasn’t perfect, but I managed.

Strongly suggest if you have anxiety about your safety & security that you invest in an Alarm System.

That said,

The rest of your anxiety really stems from Marriage Panic… lol, wondering how you’ll cope, adapt, and IF you can live up to being a Good Wife / Partner to your mate.

That is totally normal… we all go thru those thoughts.

You will do fine… don’t forget this is NEW Territory for him too… he also has anxiety about the whole thing.

You guys will work it out together.

And as for cooking… it really is a learned skill.  You’ll get better over time.  And it probably won’t all fall on you anyhow… most couples today share the responsiblity… and it can be a fun thing to do together.

Best Advice there… is buy yourself a GOOD COOKBOOK, that covers the basics.  Personally I am a BIG FAN of “The Joy of Cooking”… because it is easy to read / understand, and has a lot of great sections besides Recipes to help you understand fully about Food Buying, Storage, Prep, Serving, Entertaining etc.  AND it is the type of Cookbook that you’ll have FOREVER because it is good for everyone from Beginner thru to Gourmet Expert.

Lol, when I got married the first time (1980) my first book was a Paperback (Sixth Edition = 1975) … it became soooo dog-earred from all the use that when Mr TTR and I moved in together to mark the occasion we went out and bought the updated 75th Anniversary Edition (2006).  Even tho I’m over 50 and been cooking for decades, I still refer to The Joy of Cooking often, and sometimes for inspiration… and to try something new (TONS of great recipes).

Hon, honest you’ll be fine… (( HUGS ))

Hope this helps,


Post # 15
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

@Stace126:  What you’re feeling is completely normal! Remind yourself that everyone feels this when they’re moving into their own house for the first time. EVERYONE. Well, maybe not, like, two people. Or something. But… NORMAL.

Post # 16
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Totally normal! Most people don’t go from their parent’s house to their marital home- that is a big adjustment. Not only getting married, but leaving your parents for the first time at the same time is hard. It gets easier πŸ™‚ Try to think of it as an adventure- never again will you have this time in your life again. Everything is new, everything is fresh and it’s all about building memories and a home with the man you love. Pretty soon kids will come along and this glorious, free, new time in your life will be over. Embrace it! So what if you can’t boil water? You will learn. Or if you need a night light, or eat microwave popcorn for dinner or can’t figure out a lawn mower? Those things come in time and half the fun is learning. 

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